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I am a married guy with two small kids. I am interested in traveling but my wife is more interested in traveling to Ohio to meet her family and relatives (Which I have no interest). I even gave my wife an option that we can go to Jamaica or she can visit Ohio to meet her family. And she always choose to meet her family which she visits twice a year.
I asked her if she does not want to go to places then can I travel alone. She said "HELL NO". Now I am in a situation that I see my dream of traveling dying in front of me. I am 35 years old and want to travel to PERU to hike the mountains, I want to snorkel in the clear blue water of Cayman Islands but my wife does not allow me. In few years I will be 40 and out of shape if I don't travel now what can I do.
I have tried 100's of time talking to my wife about it and she does not even want to listen a word about me traveling alone. I am not sure what the reason is but I think she wants me to use my vacation time to travel to Ohio to visit her family which I have NO interest at all. And I do visit them once every 2 years.
I am a married guy with two small kids. I am interested in traveling but my wife is more interested in traveling to Ohio to meet her family and relatives (Which I have no interest). I even gave my wife an option that we can go to Jamaica or she can visit Ohio to meet her family. And she always choose to meet her family which she visits twice a year.
I asked her if she does not want to go to places then can I travel alone. She said "HELL NO". Now I am in a situation that I see my dream of traveling dying in front of me. I am 35 years old and want to travel to PERU to hike the mountains, I want to snorkel in the clear blue water of Cayman Islands but my wife does not allow me. In few years I will be 40 and out of shape if I don't travel now what can I do.
I have tried 100's of time talking to my wife about it and she does not even want to listen a word about me traveling alone. I am not sure what the reason is but I think she wants me to use my vacation time to travel to Ohio to visit her family which I have NO interest at all. And I do visit them once every 2 years.
What should I do?
Hm.
I think you're just gonna have to plan a trip and go. Perhaps on weekends, so it doesn't eat too much into your vacation time.
Be polite but firm and explain that while you are happy to see family and spend time with them, you have your own interests to pursue, as well.
I do have an issue with your "not knowing the reason" for why she doesn't want you to go. It makes no sense, so finding out the reason would be paramount before you do anything else. You should be able to talk to each other.
Btw, when you are 40, you will not be out of shape. My parents (late 60s/early 70s) have spent the last 20 years traveling all over the place. They just got back from a 5 week guided tour of southern India.
Your wife needs to realize she's being unfair--a healthy marriage takes COMPROMISE. She needs to accept that she skips a turn next or you'll be flying solo. I don't blame you, that would drive me crazy too. So what if she says 'hell no?' Go anyway. Maybe next time she'll learn not to be so selfish. No one should stand in the way of your dream, nor should any loving partner want to. And I'm saying this as a woman, by the way.
travelzoo.com
Check out the top 20--this site has saved me THOUSANDS. Happy travels
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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That stinks. I don't have advice, I'm just sorry you married someone that won't let you pursue your desires and doesn't want to travel. I couldn't be with someone like that myself.
OMG I lived in Ohio and got the hell out of there as much as I could. I would take a holiday weekend where you got a paid day off and wrap two of my vacation days around it and just take off to where ever. Sometimes I'd just fly, other times I'd drive across country. I went to Jamaica and one year on the day before Thanksgiving I walked in a travel agent and said, "What have you got leaving tomorrow?" and I was sipping Pina Coladas on the beach in Mexico the next morning. I went alone. I wasn't waiting for anyone else's ass to go with me and whine about doing tourist stuff. And I'm female for references sake.
One time I went to a meeting and afterward took the top down and drove from Ohio to Florida and called the office when I got there.
I don't know what to tell you about your situation, but the only thing that concerned me was your saying "she won't allow me." Sorry, but that's something your mom would do when you are 13 not a grown man in a real relationship. If she is that stubborn about 'not allowing you' like a 12 year old. I'd make plans to go somewhere else when she goes to Ohio. It's only fair and I bet if you dragged her butt to a therapist with you and discussed it - the therapist would suggest the same thing.
- Plan trip and go while she is visiting Ohio and never talk about it ever!
- Talk to her about my dream of traveling the world - I have already tried this million times and this does not work out. Also, most of the trips require a lot of hiking and adventures which I won't be able to do if I take my kids since they are toddlers. Last year I visited my sister in Florida. I planned my trip of 3 days when my wife was visiting her family in Ohio. Last minute my wife changed her plans and pushed her trip further out. In other words I left to Florida before she left for Ohio. She made a HUGE scene out of it. Crying and cursing me that I am leaving her with the kids alone. I told her "Darling, you are not supposed to be here! You changed your flight and I cannot change my flight since my flight is non-refundable". So, if going to Florida to see my *sister* can create a big drama then going to another country and getting her approvable is close to impossible.
Also, I don't want to wait till I am 60 to fulfill my dream.
Maybe you need to truly address WHY she has such a problem with you traveling alone. Is it safety? Other women? Because if she's worried you'll have a fling with a Peruvian lady that's another issue altogether.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC84
Maybe you need to truly address WHY she has such a problem with you traveling alone. Is it safety? Other women? Because if she's worried you'll have a fling with a Peruvian lady that's another issue altogether.
Having been in Peru last year, it shouldn't be a fear , it was no Colombia
Did you talk to your wife about this dream of yours before you married? And have you ever given her a reason to doubt your fidelity or your commitment to the marriage?
Do you ever go to see your parents? It sounds like the focus is solely on her family alone. Which is very selfish.
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, it was no Colombia