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Old 01-03-2014, 03:27 PM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,843,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Women are way too honest with heach other,id never tell any of my friends if i didnt think one of his girlfriends was unattractive dont you ladies have any filter?
I was thinking the same thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
As qualified in the OP, we can only perceive so much when it comes to ourselves...but I don't think my looks have been a major factor at all for my dating options (positively or negatively)

I'm an average looking guy, and as far as I can tell, it has been a non-factor for dating. Small changes have little to no effect. I think an exaggerated way of summing up my experience regarding guy's looks is:

-You'll get a good reaction if you're a 9-10
-You'll get a poor reaction if you're a 1-2
-If you're anywhere between a 3-7, it doesn't make much difference.

As mentioned, it's an exaggeration, but I think in general, unless you're outstandingly attractive or ugly...it doesn't matter much. I've had the opposite experience as some of the previous posters...it seems that the first thing that strikes others about me is my personality, not my looks. Maybe it just feels that way.

That said, being tall has been a HUGE boon. Like, unquestionably, the biggest factor.
Uh. Height is part of looks dude. So if your height helps, then your looks helps you.
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Old 01-03-2014, 03:43 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 8,186,123 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSoundOfMuzak View Post
I think that any time a girl has ever liked me is because she thought I was cute. I've also noticed that little changes in my looks have led to increased or decreased responsiveness from girls.

Still, there are some people here who think that looks don't matter much if you're a guy.

What has been your personal experience with how your physical attractiveness has affected your dating options?
So how's your personality bro?
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Old 01-03-2014, 03:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Women are way too honest with heach other,id never tell any of my friends if i didnt think one of his girlfriends was unattractive dont you ladies have any filter?
Men do this. They tell a buddy the guy "could do better".
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:06 PM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,843,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
And I disagree that women will even DATE hot men just because they are hot. There have been lots of hot men that I have not dated because I did not want to date them. But I will say this - I was at a party one time and I was talking to two guys. One would probably be considered "hot" by most people's standards and the other one wasn't. I was actually more attracted to the guy that wasn't hot - he was super funny and I had more fun talking to him. However, he wasn't the one that made a move on me. So I left with the hot guy. I would have rather have left with the other guy but he didn't make a move. The hot guy didn't have a bad personality - he just wasn't as fun. Oh well. But there were guys that hit on me that were hot that I had absolutely no interest in. And for the record - I've dated guys that were hot and guys that were not attractive to many people at first glance. Simply being hot is not enough - not even for a date.

That's a different thing. That's two guys that you are attracted to and you had to choose.

I'm talking about total rejection when the woman has nothing else on her plate.
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
That's a different thing. That's two guys that you are attracted to and you had to choose.

I'm talking about total rejection when the woman has nothing else on her plate.
No - my point was that it wasn't the hot guy that I was most attracted to but the other guy didn't make a move. And there have been guys that I have rejected because I didn't like them - no matter what they looked like. However, most of the guys that I rejected were rejected because I was in a relationship.
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:10 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
If that were true, then everybody would get hit on, and there'd be no need for a thread like this.
I mentioned in my posts a few ages back that I never got hit on until I became more outgoing. While looks are important, in my case my looks didn't change (it could be argued that they went down because I am older now). But just forcing myself to less shy and more outgoing increased how many men noticed me, flirted with me, etc.

I suppose I could a rare sort of person in this regards, but I don't think so. I think attitude and the personaly you "project" can greatly influence how others perceive your looks. And I am not the only one.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...lly-attractive

Quote:

Often, both women and men focus entirely on their appearance when trying to be physically attractive. They worry that they won't get a date without a young complexion and an hourglass figure (women), or chiseled abs and a tall, muscular body (men). They also believe that physical attractiveness is an objective and stable feature (that can't be changed without surgery, push-up bras, or hours in the gym).
But, are potential dating partners really that superficial?


Good news, they're not. ...As it turns out, "who you are on the inside" does count. It even changes how others actually see you on the outside!


...


Their study used both men and women as participants, manipulated personality trait descriptions, and utilized ratings of yearbook photos. The authors found that pictures paired with positive traits were rated as more attractive, and those paired with negative traits were rated as less attractive, when compared to controls.

You can read the whole thing at the link. And you don't even have to change yourself, just how you "come across" to others. In my case, my shyness and quietness came across as snobby and cold. Just by opening up, smiling more, suddenly I am seen as warm and friendly (even though, my personality didn't change).

Quote:

As Kniffin and Wilson (2004) conclude, "if you want to enhance your physical attractiveness, become a valuable social partner." To some degree, many people experience this phenomenon. A stranger just seems to "grow on them" or get "cuter", as the person gets to know them better. Sometimes, the two even end up dating - although physical attraction wasn't there to start.
Here's how to make this effect work for you:
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:24 PM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,843,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I mentioned in my posts a few ages back that I never got hit on until I became more outgoing. While looks are important, in my case my looks didn't change (it could be argued that they went down because I am older now). But just forcing myself to less shy and more outgoing increased how many men noticed me, flirted with me, etc.

I suppose I could a rare sort of person in this regards, but I don't think so. I think attitude and the personaly you "project" can greatly influence how others perceive your looks. And I am not the only one.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...lly-attractive


You can read the whole thing at the link. And you don't even have to change yourself, just how you "come across" to others. In my case, my shyness and quietness came across as snobby and cold. Just by opening up, smiling more, suddenly I am seen as warm and friendly (even though, my personality didn't change).
As mentioned earlier in the thread, the problem is lots of women already like my personality.

It may 'shock' women here, but women in real life think I'm nice, funny, and easygoing. Women tell me I'm cool all the time.

That's not enough though. How do you think I develop the theories that I have? Obviously if women are calling me a pr@ck to my face, I'd think that was the problem.

I think one thing that might make a difference is if I was more interesting, I could bring them to parties, bars, introduce them to interesting people and places, and be the guy who can work a room, then maybe, MAYBE I could have gotten some of the women have previously rejected me.

But I can't really be that guy at this exact moment.
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
I think one thing that might make a difference is if I was more interesting, I could bring them to parties, bars, introduce them to interesting people and places, and be the guy who can work a room, then maybe, MAYBE I could have gotten some of the women have previously rejected me.
You don't need to be the guy who can work a room. You only need to be able to work the girl. I've seen below-average guys have women eating out of the palm of their hand. They're either funny and engaging, or they're really effective with the quality of attention they give the women, a small compliment here and there, letting her know they notice her, looking pleased to see her or being animated when talking to her, like they really enjoy the girl's company, subtle yet effective things. Communicating in a subtle manner that she's special to them. Some guys have more of a knack for this than others. The ones to whom it comes naturally tend to be womanizers, though it's not obvious, because they don't use obvious lines.
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:42 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,639 posts, read 2,197,619 times
Reputation: 3538
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
Maybe YOU accept 3 inches shorter and a few lbs over (I'm not 5'9" either), but every woman has a cutoff point. And if I was what I listed, I would meet that standard for just about all of the women I've liked.

Although I must say that if I had been 6 foot, white, and reasonably handsome my whole life, that my standards of what I am physically attracted to might be much more stringent than they are now. I may not even have liked most of the women that I've liked. So, there's that as well.
Why don't you date women your own race? It doesn't sound like you do
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:52 PM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,843,831 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall View Post
Why don't you date women your own race? It doesn't sound like you do
Lol, don't be silly.

Which minority man who struggles with women would eliminate his own women as options? That's like playing scratch off lottery every day for your living.

I would actually be quite content sticking to my own race, but I have over the course of life just fallen for other women.

I only mentioned white guy, because women of every race dig white guys. Although most of the women I liked who rejected me would date men of my race, I know for a fact 100% of them date white men.
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