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Me and him at his parents apartment at 11pm- We bought Christmas gifts for them together.
Him: Wanna wrap the presents for them now?
Me: I'd prefer to do it tomorrow, I'm really tired.
Him (getting directly pissed): Pff, okay, very nice.
Me: Well, you asked me! I would prefer to do it tomorrow. But if you really wanna do it now I will help you, no problem.
Then he didn't answer anymore, just shook his head and started to tidy up the room. I tried again and again to talk to him, said "Why are you angry now? You asked me and I told you my honest opinion" and "Let's talk about it. I can really help you to do it now if you want to." but he didn't talk to me at all til the next morning.
Ok... Latino, 29 and still hasn't cut enough of the apron strings, you're the one with the vagina, not him. He wanted YOU to wrap the gifts, he didn't want you to help him. Just like he expects from his mommy.
Ok... Latino, 29 and still hasn't cut enough of the apron strings, you're the one with the vagina, not him. He wanted YOU to wrap the gifts, he didn't want you to help him. Just like he expects from his mommy.
Nail, meet hammer! Very astute observation steelstress. This relationship is going no where and OP knows (at least I hope she knows) it.
I'm not sure if he expected me to wrap the presents all by myself. The next day he was totally normal again and helped me wrapping the presents without any complains.
Another example of his getting pissed-ness: Him and I in the elevator of my apartment
Him: You look like Heidi today, this girl who lives in the mountains.
Me: Why?
Him: Because you're cheeks are really red.
Me: That doesn't sound good. (stop in front of a mirror in the hallway to take a look)
Him: You take everything as an insult, do you?
Me: What? No, I just said I think it doesn't sound good. I don't wanna look like Heidi.
Him (pissed voice): You're incredible.
Me: What? No, wait wait. Apparently there is a misunderstanding. I didn't take anything as an insult, I just thought I look bad so I wanted to take a quick look in the mirror to see what I look like.
I kept explaining our misunderstanding and he kept getting more pissed, didn't want to hear anything of what I said. In the end he even said we should just stop talking.
I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now. He's 29, I'm 26.
My problem- His family is just too overpresent in our life. It's just way too much for me.
He's from a Latin family, so in that culture it's pretty normal to be very close to the family. But even for being Latin he's overly extreme.
I do like his family, I get along with them very well- But I feel like we don't get enough alone time and that he always chooses his family over me.
What are your thoughts?
Your boyfriend's attitude is similar to what goes in most traditional Catholic European families. In Italy, it's called Mamissimo. And American girlfriends of mine who married into French Catholic families, also had to deal with the family dynamics of a smothering family with a matriarch. One friend was exasperated because during the first year of their marriage in Paris, his mother was inviting them over for dinner ever day... and her husband wanted to accept every time. And on the occasions when the invitation was turned down, her husband would tell his mother that it was because she didn't want to go. Meanwhile, all she wanted was some quality romantic dinners with her husband.
Otherwise, even though you've been dating for a year and a half, I don't think that he's that serious about you. Plus from what you've posted about your relationship, the two of you don't seem to be "soulmates". The two of you aren't on the same wavelength and he just doesn't seem that into you.
Also, if you can't deal with this family situation now, then it's time to break up with your boyfriend. It's never going to get any better. He will also never move far away from them.
I'm not sure if he expected me to wrap the presents all by myself. The next day he was totally normal again and helped me wrapping the presents without any complains.
Another example of his getting pissed-ness: Him and I in the elevator of my apartment
Him: You look like Heidi today, this girl who lives in the mountains.
Me: Why?
Him: Because you're cheeks are really red.
Me: That doesn't sound good. (stop in front of a mirror in the hallway to take a look)
Him: You take everything as an insult, do you?
Me: What? No, I just said I think it doesn't sound good. I don't wanna look like Heidi.
Him (pissed voice): You're incredible.
Me: What? No, wait wait. Apparently there is a misunderstanding. I didn't take anything as an insult, I just thought I look bad so I wanted to take a quick look in the mirror to see what I look like.
I kept explaining our misunderstanding and he kept getting more pissed, didn't want to hear anything of what I said. In the end he even said we should just stop talking.
There's worse things in life than a dude who loves his family. A dude who hates his family is one of them. For his sake, OP, you need to move on. You two are not compatible. And it might be you who needs to change!
I'm not sure if he expected me to wrap the presents all by myself. The next day he was totally normal again and helped me wrapping the presents without any complains.
Another example of his getting pissed-ness: Him and I in the elevator of my apartment
Him: You look like Heidi today, this girl who lives in the mountains.
Me: Why?
Him: Because you're cheeks are really red.
Me: That doesn't sound good. (stop in front of a mirror in the hallway to take a look)
Him: You take everything as an insult, do you?
Me: What? No, I just said I think it doesn't sound good. I don't wanna look like Heidi.
Him (pissed voice): You're incredible.
Me: What? No, wait wait. Apparently there is a misunderstanding. I didn't take anything as an insult, I just thought I look bad so I wanted to take a quick look in the mirror to see what I look like.
I kept explaining our misunderstanding and he kept getting more pissed, didn't want to hear anything of what I said. In the end he even said we should just stop talking.
sounds like he's tired of you and this relationship has been done for a very long time.
This story screams "mama's boy" (or mama's & papa's boy). This extreme closeness or dependency on the family of origin isn't normal in Latino culture, fyi.
There is a difference between closeness and dependency. I see this nonsesne all the time about "closeness" when what is being displayed is immaturity and dependency.
You can be close, and yet be an independent adult. The vignette provided likely shows this guy is still very dependent. He is not going to change if he's still like this at 29. Either put up with it or move on.
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