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I'd be affraid it would turn into a mental hen fight with you being the rodeo clown.
You'll know if it's really over should go with the new gf.
No hen fight. I was married to the ex for over 30 years and still friends. The GF know we are friends and the Ex knows there is a GF. Just don't want hurt feelings.
Close friends I only see about 2-3 times a year have their traditional big Super Bowl Party that my Ex wife and I attended for years when married.
Divorced now 2 years and we get along well. Saw each other there last year and I still see her every few weeks as a friend and share kids.
But here's the new deal... Been dating a tall attractive blonde for the last year and this year I'll need to decide if we go to the party or just stay home.
The party is a chance to see old friends you only see once a year but being the sensitive guy I am
don't want to make any of the parties uncomfortable.
So do you show up with the new GF at a small Party of old time friends and your Ex
or just avoid uneasy feelings and have my own party at home ?
Maybe I just need to ask the GF her preference. It would be nice to show up with an attractive lady at my side.
So what's a good guy to do ?
The bolded red--Clearly this isn't about anyone's feelings. It's about you showing up with an attractive woman so you can gloat. If that's not the case then it wasn't necessary to include such details in your OP. If you are genuinely concerned about your gf's feelings then ask her how she would feel about going to the party. I doubt your exwife would have a problem with your new gf attending.
and anyone I see 2 or 3 times a year, imo, really isn't that close.
A mutual friend of my ex and I is getting married next month. My wife and I are planning to attend. The mutual friend told us the ex was also invited. I planned on the ex attending. Whether the ex shows up or not, it will be a large enough group that we can avoid each other. Our plan is to be dressed well, look good and be happy.
No she has not dated anyone and it is a small group of very close old friends. It might be uncomfortable for them also to have the 3 of us there.
I'll talk to the GF and if she's OK, I'll give the Ex the heads up. She can then decide to go or no go.
Wait... so you're going to ask your current girlfriend first? If you parted with your ex amicably, please talk with her first. After all, she's also old and close friends with everyone else at the party so it's not fair to your ex to possibly push her out of the festivities.
Plus if you ex isn't close to the friends at the party, maybe she's not going anyway.
Your girlfriend isn't going to know anyone at that small party, so why not keep it a small group of close and old acquaintances? Otherwise, it seems like you are more keen to show off your new girlfriend to your friends than anything else. Why are you defining the quality of your life by having a beautiful new girlfriend? Do you have so little else positive going on in your life?
And I think that your new girlfriend would understand if you don't bring her along to this party... btw are you afraid that she's going to get mad at you if you don't bring her along? Would she break up with you over that?
No need for a ringer here. While many guys on here struggle with how to meet or connect with women, I do not have that problem.
Just riffing on the fact that you felt that the woman's appearance was critical information relevant to the topic at hand. I agree with the previous poster that your post contains more than a hint of "here's my trophy to show off, " and seems to be clearly more about that than how either of these women would feel about the situation.
Wait... so you're going to ask your current girlfriend first? If you parted with your ex amicably, please talk with her first. After all, she's also old and close friends with everyone else at the party so it's not fair to your ex to possibly push her out of the festivities.
Plus if you ex isn't close to the friends at the party, maybe she's not going anyway.
Your girlfriend isn't going to know anyone at that small party, so why not keep it a small group of close and old acquaintances? Otherwise, it seems like you are more keen to show off your new girlfriend to your friends than anything else. Why are you defining the quality of your life by having a beautiful new girlfriend? Do you have so little else positive going on in your life?
And I think that your new girlfriend would understand if you don't bring her along to this party... btw are you afraid that she's going to get mad at you if you don't bring her along? Would she break up with you over that?
I've been in both positions of going and it feeling awkward, versus not being included at all. Both of them suck. My ex always did what was least stressful for him, so I was often left behind. My idea of a good time was not being around his ex-wife but I did what I had to on rare occasions we were all together. It didn't help our relationship at all for him to leave me behind because his ex-wife didn't know how to be a grown-up and he din't know how to cope with it.
After a year of dating, this woman is hardly a "new" GF, and I'd hate to send the signal that her feelings don't matter. I like the OP's idea of asking his GF what she'd prefer, and if she'd like to go, showing courtesy to the ex that she will be there too. No need for the ex to stay home either, but nice to not blindside anyone in the situation.
Wait... so you're going to ask your current girlfriend first? If you parted with your ex amicably, please talk with her first. After all, she's also old and close friends with everyone else at the party so it's not fair to your ex to possibly push her out of the festivities.
Plus if you ex isn't close to the friends at the party, maybe she's not going anyway.
Your girlfriend isn't going to know anyone at that small party, so why not keep it a small group of close and old acquaintances? Otherwise, it seems like you are more keen to show off your new girlfriend to your friends than anything else. Why are you defining the quality of your life by having a beautiful new girlfriend? Do you have so little else positive going on in your life?
And I think that your new girlfriend would understand if you don't bring her along to this party... btw are you afraid that she's going to get mad at you if you don't bring her along? Would she break up with you over that?
That's the thing... she is the current GF so I do owe her the 1st considerations. These are very old close friends where the Ex will want to go, she sees them and remains close friends also.
I do have so much positive things in my life it's unbelievable. Do you not like to be with someone that you (and others) consider attractive ? I'm certainly not that shallow but I am also human.
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