Awkward and grounds for dumping...?

[horsechick71]

I just have a hard time believing men when the say that stuff so early.

[das74]

Originally Posted by recuerdeme

So I've been dating this guy for a month.
A week or so ago he was showing me a video on youtube on his phone and as we were watching the video a email notification popped up stating that *his_screenname* has received a new message on *random_personals_site.com*

At that moment I didn't say anything. I thought maybe he is still receivinng notifications but not logging in and we only had 2 or 3 weeks under our belts... although he had already professed his intent to do everything to make this a great relationship and that he was infatuated and now "in love" with me. Grr at any rate I snorted kind of and let the notification disappear and we continued watching the video.

So after that incident I didn't think much more about it. But today I woke up with one of my strange feelings that something was awry. The site in question I too have an account with, although I haven't entered in over a month, so I went online to check his status, remembering his screenname from the email notification, and there he was lit green, ie online... and for "right now!"

Yes it's a month long relationship but with all his adoration, and expression of falling in love, and me being the best thing that's every happened to him, he has made me fall somewhat too. So now I feel kind of bad and upset.

Thoughts?

Hmmmm...Well I would start off by stating that no one person here is in your personal relationship so with this in mind everyone here will weigh in your situation being that this is an open forum and this was a query..
Ultimately you know what is good for you and you will make the decision that is best for you and have to live with it...

Now my opinion? One month? is early in the relationship...Certain things would have to take place in order for me to think we were exclusive...
Those being;
-The individual would have to state that he IS not speaking to anyone else.
-The individual would have to state that he wants to see me exclusively
-The individual would have to state that he wants to pursue a serious relationship with me

Now with all of these things aforementioned stated? If I saw that he was receiving messages? He may get notifications...this is normal..especially if they are automatically sent.
However If I got suspicious enough to log on and see him "active?"
Life is to short to mince words or eat feelings...I would come out right and ask him what his intentions were for me..I would tell him what I felt and what I observed ( Him actively online on the dating website)
Allow him to answer and have a discussion based on his answer...
Best of luck

[Atlguy39]

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

I would be wary of any guy who professed to be in love with me after only a month.

Which brings up another question of how long to wait before saying those 3 words. I don't want to hijack the thread, just on my mind lately.

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by horsechick71

I just have a hard time believing men when the say that stuff so early.

Some guys know that's one of the quickest ways for a female to feel in an intimate way with him.

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

Which brings up another question of how long to wait before saying those 3 words. I don't want to hijack the thread, just on my mind lately.

I think some guys use those three words to speed things up. Unfortunately many ladies are in such bad need of creating a "couple" identity that they lose sight of better judgment and are left wondering what just happened.

Lust is not love. You can have one without the other, and that works for some folks. As long as everyone knows what they are getting into, and getting out of the relation, I don't see the harm in it. The problems arise when their is an imbalance in expectations.

I don't think it's possible to fall in love with someone in a matter of weeks. Sure, some folks are still together after decades who "fell in love at first sight" but that is definitely not the norm.