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Oh god no. She is very sensual. She adored sex and by far they were the best BJs I've ever had. In fact, I think bi women tend to be considerably more sensual on average than straight women. Fantastic lover, good emotional connection, mental connection and were a very good match physically. I have no idea how she is in bed with women, but I doubt she was anything other than awesome there as well.
"I have no idea how she is in bed with women, but I doubt she was anything other than awesome there as well"
I would think it would have been even better for her if she dropped men from the menu Unless she had better compatibilty on other levels with women.
I was with the love of my life for 7 years. We even had a wonderful child together. I trusted her completely and shared every aspect of my life with her and we had, or at least I thought we had, a great life together.
Little did I know that in the fall of 2010 she started having an affair with a guy on the internet through some kind of cyber chat room. I knew she was on it and because I trusted her I never questioned all the time she spent on the site. Looking back now I should have seen the red flags like the frequent text messages and her serious addiction to the website but again I was naive and never in a million years would I have thought anything was wrong.
In the spring of 2011 she told me that her "friend" was coming for a visit and I was actually stupid enough to believe that it was totally innocent. Well, March 1 2011 arrived and she went to go pick him up at the bus station. After they came home I started to piece things together piece by piece. They way they stood a little too close together. The lengthy walk around the neighborhood. That evening while I was on my computer in the bedroom and they were "watching" TV in the living room next to the bedroom I heard the distinct sound of kissing. I peeked around the corner and although I didn't see anything I knew I wasn't imagining it so I decided to bait the trap. Told them I was heading to the store for a while and would be back in an hour or so. She was so distracted by her "friend" that she didn't even notice how late it was and there were no stores open at that hour. So I left the house and stood outside for a few minutes and waited. I came back inside and caught them making out on the couch.
I calmly asked for an explanation but was simply told she was in love with him and was going to be leaving with him in the morning. I couldn't find the words to muster up a reply so I simply went into our sons room, wrapped him up with some blankets and we left and headed down to my parents house.
When I came back in the morning she was still packing some things in her car. I made one last desperate attempt to talk to her and see if there was any way to salvage the marriage but she refused to speak to me.
Found out after she left, after going through all her emails and contacting her on-line friends, that she had been planning it for months. Made up all kinds of horrible lies about me and told them and her new lover that I beat her and was abusive and she was desperate for someone to come save her from her horrible life. The truth was the total opposite. I lived her more than anything and would do anything for her and did everything possible to make her happy. I think her lies about me hurt more than anything else.
This coming March will be 3 years since she left. Part of me still has an eternal fire of hate for her and what she did and how she abandoned our son and I yet part of me still loves her and misses her although I know that the girl I fell in love with is long gone and it almost feels as though she died that day.
I've moved on but it's just not quite the same. Don't think it ever can be.
Dang Dude! What a sad story.
I guess that is why I married someone I was not completely and madly in love with.
I feared what you wrote. I have this unconnected part that keeps me from being naive like you said.
Most people seem to buy into the "Love conquers all" mantra that comes at us socially from all angles. You can be in Love with a raving lunatic or someone that invites so much drama into their life that makes a relationship with that person impossible.
In my case it wasn't drama but her projecting her fears on me. It could be summed it up as follows:
a) She was afraid I would end up becoming my Dad. It's not like he's Tony Soprano, but he's the type of blue collar man who rides the fine line between respectable and disreputable (at least in the eyes of a "respectable" middle-class person). Nothing many people of blue-collar background couldn't relate to, but coming from an upwardly mobile familiy she let her unconscious class snobery take over and started picturing lurid of images a dark underworld or something.
b) She saw me as more attractive and sexual (for lack of a better word) than the man she would eventually marry and therefore a bigger risk for infidelity.
c) Her parents' is a rather conventional, loveless, pragmatic marriage, and I guess that influenced her expectations of what marriage should be (a business-like affair).
I don't think most people would let those things stand in the way of a textbook love at first sight with great chemistry, but I guess deep down she was insecure and she was afraid her expectations would be disappointed. A sad way to live if you ask me, but can you do about it?
In my case it wasn't drama but her projecting her fears on me. It could be summed it up as follows:
a) She was afraid I would end up becoming my Dad. It's not like he's Tony Soprano, but he's the type of blue collar man who rides the fine line between respectable and disreputable (at least in the eyes of a "respectable" middle-class person). Nothing many people of blue-collar background couldn't relate to, but coming from an upwardly mobile familiy she let her unconscious class snobery take over and started picturing lurid of images a dark underworld or something.
b) She saw me as more attractive and sexual (for lack of a better word) than the man she would eventually marry and therefore a bigger risk for infidelity.
c) Her parents' is a rather conventional, loveless, pragmatic marriage, and I guess that influenced her expectations of what marriage should be (a business-like affair).
I don't think most people would let those things stand in the way of a textbook love at first sight with great chemistry, but I guess deep down she was insecure and she was afraid her expectations would be disappointed. A sad way to live if you ask me, but can you do about it?
That is sad. I know a woman like that. If she would have stopped looking at her guy for what he could turn out to be like (his dad, men she knows, etc? And instead looked at he man he is, she would have seen that he'd never become all those things she was scared about. The same probably goes for you too. Sad.
I think we've all been through love loss at least once.
My story is/reasons are as old as time. It's been told a billion times-- by a billion other human beings.
Bottom line:
Love lost hurts like heck!
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Unless she had better compatibilty on other levels with women.
