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Old 01-14-2014, 08:46 AM
 
14,082 posts, read 14,743,779 times
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I usually drive to meet the guy on the first date if I meet him online, but after that, I prefer to be picked up because I just hate driving. If a guy lives 20 miles away and wants to do a date activity on his side of town, is it unreasonable for me to prefer that he drives to pick me up, drives us to the date location, drives me back home, and then drives himself back home? I just feel like meeting up instead of driving together seems less date-like. I know some men don't really mind driving, but others might. Do you all (men and women) have preferences regarding who does the driving? Do you think it's rude if a man doesn't want to pick a woman up for a date?
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:47 AM
 
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Yes, as a woman, I think its rude.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:50 AM
 
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20 miles where I live can be well over an hour drive one way--sometimes two hours if it's rush hour... but out where my family lives, it's only a 20 minute ride any time of day or night.

I think it depends on a lot of factors and the best thing to do is just ask the individual man. But I don't think it's rude if a man refuses and more than it would be rude for you to refuse if he asked you to do all the driving. After all, maybe he hates driving just as much as you do (or maybe he has to get up early for work and can't stay up the extra time it would take to drive, maybe he has a dog to get home to that needs to go out, etc... there could be any number of reasons).

What would make it rude (or not rude) would be the way you ask and the way he answers. A polite refusal is still polite.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:50 AM
 
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Not rude at all. If the guy is into you hell want to come pick you up... Its more time you get to spend together bs'ing!
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:50 AM
 
14,082 posts, read 14,743,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Yes, as a woman, I think its rude.
Even if he lives somewhat far away? I prefer to only date men who live no more than 30 minutes away because I know I hate driving and I'd feel bad about asking them to drive too far.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:52 AM
 
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I think the more things you find "rude" or get offended by, the less likely your are to meet a match. AFAIC it is not your date's job to solve your transportation problems. If you hate driving, learn the bus line.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
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I think for me it really depends on distance and location. If it's 30 miles to pick her up, another 15 to the date location, then drop her off, and then go home, that is a bit much. If we are in the same town, I think actually it would be better to have one person drive, save on gas. But if it's really out of the way, I wouldn't do it.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:53 AM
 
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I think it would be rude to expect that he drive 20 miles out of his way, or past where you're meeting, and have to double-back, on both pickup and return, from date 2 forward, all because you don't like driving.

IMO, how you get to a date isn't part of the date, so I would never think it's less date-like that you arrived in separate vehicles.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:53 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,748,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Even if he lives somewhat far away? I prefer to only date men who live no more than 30 minutes away because I know I hate driving and I'd feel bad about asking them to drive too far.
So suggest somewhere near you to go out (5/10 min) and drive yourself. Problem solved.

I dated a man that wanted me to drive 20min out of my way to retrieve him and bring him into the city every time we had a date. Got old quickly. Relationship ended.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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Are you at least offering gas money to these guys? I'd feel terrible asking someone to drive across town to pick me up, then drive somewhere else, then drive me home when I could easily meet him in the middle somewhere. Plus, if we're talking the first few dates, until things are a bit more established I wouldn't necessarily want him to know where I live.
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