Trust issues? (marriage, women, cheating, attractiveness)

[soulsearch]

Just wanted to know if any of you have made an affair into a successful real relationship and what problems you’ll faced and if you’ll ever had any trust issues and guilt issues? and is it really possible to get past the issues?

[soulsearch]

any stories welcome

[lovesMountains]

Since no one has responded, I'll give it a shot

Based on what I have witnessed myself, the only people who successfully turn an affair into a long term committed relationship/marriage are those who weren't serial cheaters.

Once they cheated they were pretty shocked by their own behavior and actually either fessed up to their spouses and initially jumped through all kinds of hoops to "fix things", OR they just immediately made plans to leave their spouses.

In other words, being deceitful was not normal behavior for them.

So when they decide to be with the person they cheated with long term they don't struggle with "trust issues" because they don't see themselves as regular cheaters. They see themselves has only having cheated for THAT particular person.

I think two serial cheaters trying to achieve a successful relationship have their work cut out for them.

[Skydive Outlaw]

I've been with a lot of married women, and in the situations where a woman 'left' her husband (whatever the hell that means, since most of them had essentially checked out of the marriage psychologically and emotionally well before the affair) it only took about 18-24 months for them to get bored being with the Sky-O and similar dynamics started being present: where I was their regular and normal source of sexual and emotional supply and they eventually got bored and sought out something more exciting and new: by cheating. Looking back and analyzing each case study individually, I can honestly say that none of the relationships would have worked out long term with me and the reasons are numerous including the fact that the behavior that they regularly engage in (narcissistic behavior combined with a lack of empathy) that led to the cheating/affair was still present after the affair, although with the guy that they left their husband for.

Fish swim

Tigers attack

Liars lie

and

Cheaters cheat.

That is what they do. The criteria that needs to exist for a woman prone to cheating / infidelity to not engage in that behavior with a new partner - would have to be:

Lack of any existing options.

Decrease in her attractiveness and/or ability to secure a new partner and have an affair.

Lower sex drive in some cases as she gets older.

Financial: the new source offers a better overall package financially and she does not want to risk losing that, but very well may still fantasize about cheating while keeping her options open.

Through some kind of accident is in a coma.



Sky-O