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The media is full of stories about long term lovers breaking it off via email and/or a text message, or other cowardly passive aggressive ways. Others will pick a fight to get rid of someone who has started to bore them. Others claim they have met someone else when they really haven't. And of the course the main way to break it off with someone is to use the old standard. "I am so busy!"
So how about you? When you have broken it off with a lover, how do you give them the word? Do you sit them down and tell them why it is not working (in your opinion) or use the passive aggressive approach like sending an email or text or stop communications? And how has previous lovers broke it off with you?
I think this depends on if you are living together or not. If you are NOT living together then a bit of avoidance first is better to give them a little idea of things not being ok so that they can get into the mindset that something is coming up... otherwise it could be a total shock.
If you are in a relationship, no matter the length, then breaking up via text/email etc. is completely unacceptable, it has to be face to face. If you're just dating for a period - more than a few dates - then email or text is fine. You don't have to go into details, just say it isn't working out and give a broad generalization otherwise it could turn into a fight with both sides blaming each other and that would make the breakup even more challenging.
If you've just emailed/texted and never met OR if you've just gone on 1-2 dates then giving a message is completely optional.
It's never easy breaking up no matter how it's done; it doesn't lessen the blow. I prefer the sit down-face to face, but will sometimes resort to more cowardly methods- if that person isn't so "understanding".
I wear big boy pants and can handle truth; just give it to me straight, no BS.
People always say you should break up face to face, but I dunno. I think a phone call works for me if I'm going to be on the receiving end. The last guy who broke up with me was supposed to be picking me up for a date. I'd had a terrible day at work and I had gotten ready for the date - I was excited to go out and maybe snuggle on the couch a bit. I kind of knew there were some issues in the relationship, but I figured we'd talk about them at some point during the evening. Heck, I'm reasonably certain I knew he was unhappy before he did.
I answered the door with a smile, and he was like "I need to say something." Talk about emotional roller coaster. I feel like I would have been in a much better place if he had just given me a call the night before and been like "I don't think this is working." We'd only been going out for a couple of months - I wasn't THAT invested at that point. But I was happy to be going on a date with him - we weren't fighting about anything, after all. He did what he thought was honorable, and I appreciate that. But jeez, the whole up and down of that evening was more traumatizing than being dumped.
People always say you should break up face to face, but I dunno. I think a phone call works for me if I'm going to be on the receiving end. The last guy who broke up with me was supposed to be picking me up for a date. I'd had a terrible day at work and I had gotten ready for the date - I was excited to go out and maybe snuggle on the couch a bit. I kind of knew there were some issues in the relationship, but I figured we'd talk about them at some point during the evening. Heck, I'm reasonably certain I knew he was unhappy before he did.
I answered the door with a smile, and he was like "I need to say something." Talk about emotional roller coaster. I feel like I would have been in a much better place if he had just given me a call the night before and been like "I don't think this is working." We'd only been going out for a couple of months - I wasn't THAT invested at that point. But I was happy to be going on a date with him - we weren't fighting about anything, after all. He did what he thought was honorable, and I appreciate that. But jeez, the whole up and down of that evening was more traumatizing than being dumped.
I was in a dating relationship about 14 years ago and things were getting kind of rocky after 6 months or so of knowing her......
We had plans to attend a New Year's Day party at my friend's swanky house with many of his wife's swanky friends. Football, good food, and my buddy's wife had a hankering for really fine wine. The only reason that this girl didn't break up with me at Christmastime?
She wanted to attend the party.
She ended the relationship in the car on the way home.
Break up in a public place, with crowds of people, preferably at a place where break ups are unexpected. That way the other person cannot stab you in the eyeball or engage in acts of violence against your person or objects in the environment. Too many witnesses.
I was in a dating relationship about 14 years ago and things were getting kind of rocky after 6 months or so of knowing her......
We had plans to attend a New Year's Day party at my friend's swanky house with many of his wife's swanky friends. Football, good food, and my buddy's wife had a hankering for really fine wine. The only reason that this girl didn't break up with me at Christmastime?
She wanted to attend the party.
She ended the relationship in the car on the way home.
I can't imagine any party being so much fun that I would prolong a relationship that wasn't making me happy. Life's too short, and there's always a good party to go to.
Break up in a public place, with crowds of people, preferably at a place where break ups are unexpected. That way the other person cannot stab you in the eyeball or engage in acts of violence against your person or objects in the environment. Too many witnesses.
Or you can do this:
Thoughtful and creative.
Honestly?
I think it's harder to break up with someone than vice versa.
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