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Pesonally I see no reason for a pity date as JJS is suggesting just to make someone feel good. If you know it won't go further, then no. If I am not interested, that's it, I'm not interested.
Can I say I wouldn't date someone with a disability, No..b/c there are so many more things that attract you to a person and a handicap may not bother me.
That's your perception. I'm assuming that they are a very cool and nice person.
And I would date someone for that reason alone.
Like I said, women would date hot men who didn't have a job and crap, everyday.
That's not considered pity. It's only ever pity if the person is physically unattractive. Do tell.
If the disability bothers her that much, the best thing she can do is politely decline. The worst thing for that guy is to get a "pity date." It insults his intelligence and gives him false hope.
This is absolutely ridiculous. Imperfect is being 5'8 when your mate wants someone 5'9 and up. We are dealing with a major disability that will impact someone's daily life. By all means, if you think you cannot deal with a major disability that is not going to go away, don't give them false hope by going out with them just because you pity them.
Did you miss the point entirely?
The point is when/if those who will not someone who is disabled will be the first in line to complain and tell everyone how terrible humans are and how badly their child is being treated.
Their child who cannot get a date or find a long term relationship because their child is disabled.
It has nothing to do with pity but everything to do with accepting someone as they are and seeing past the disability to get to know them and spending time with them.
Some just cannot see the entire forest for the trees....
If she is not into him romantically then she should not date him, no matter what the reason is. That is common sense until you start trying to be PC about about.
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Originally Posted by CSD610
Did you miss the point entirely? The point is when/if those who will not someone who is disabled will be the first in line to complain and tell everyone how terrible humans are and how badly their child is being treated.
Their child who cannot get a date or find a long term relationship because their child is disabled.
It has nothing to do with pity but everything to do with accepting someone as they are and seeing past the disability to get to know them and spending time with them.
Some just cannot see the entire forest for the trees....
I think some people need to accept that the arena of romantic relationships is not fair at all times and can be downright cruel. You are not owed a chance by anyone. People decide to give you a chance based exclusively if they WANT to or not. Not everyone is going to accept you as is. It is a fact. The best you can do is search for someone who will accept your disability and not be concerned people who ain't gonna accept you.
As far as the kids point, one I'm childfree so that part is nevermind to me. Two, life ain't always fair or kind, that is one thing I would make sure a kid knew. To suggest otherwise is the special snowflake syndrome that old farts love to suggest millennials like me believe in.
That's your perception. I'm assuming that they are a very cool and nice person.
And I would date someone for that reason alone.
Like I said, women would date hot men who didn't have a job and crap, everyday.
That's not considered pity. It's only ever pity if the person is physically unattractive. Do tell.
Probably because most dating and relationships seem to include sex and many would find having sex with someone they're not physically attracted to as sex done out of pity.
In my opinion it wouldn't be pity if it's a sexless relationship though likely if she offered that he wouldn't want a relationship. Perhaps she's suited to try that approach it has worked for plenty of gals I know who had guys try to guilt-trip them into dating him despite his physical appearance.
Date them? I married one. My wife is severely disabled.
Is it difficult? Yes, of course it is... sometimes very difficult. But there's never a single moment that it's not worth it, 100 times over. As hard as it sometimes is for me, it's 100 times harder for her, because she's the one who has to live every moment entirely inside that world - yet she's the one whose optimism and positive attitude keeps my spirits up when times get hard. She's the bravest person I've ever met in my life, and I'm honored that I somehow earned the privilege of being the one who gets to help her overcome some of the difficulties in her day to day life.
Others can make their own choices - and I won't judge them for it - but if I'd been prejudiced against becoming involved with someone who's disabled, I'd never have known the greatest happiness of my life.
It would really depend what it was. If they had a great personality and we really clicked and they were able to live a mostly normal life style then I would be willing to give it a try. Any of us could become disabled at any time. What if I got into a car wreck on the way home and had to spend the rest of my life in a wheel chair? It's sad to think no one would find me worthy of dating because of something like that although that's their choice. If it was really the right person then I think it would be worth the obstacles.
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