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What would YOU want someone to do for you in this situation? Would you rather find out later, by accident, or would you rather deal with the dissapointment and hurt that comes with the truth head on? Then you'd have time to recover, pull together your peices and get on with life.
If you are mistakenly pursuing a romantic relationship with someone, beleiving the whole time that they are exclusive with you, then you are going to be sad and dissapointed when you find out that you were just one of several 'options'.
I don't think anyone should have to deal with being an 'option'. Being in a relationship is hard work, it takes a lot of time and attention the rewards are wonderful though. When and IF you ARE exclusive, if you are a person who always has 'several' just in case one doesn't work out, then you are just asking for the lonliness you are trying so hard to avoid.
How long will you keep doing that? Is it really helping you or hurting you? Are you really getting what you need out of those choices? Or are you always finding out that it hurts deeply to grow these multiple attachments only to find out that you have to repeat the letting go choice over and over? Maybe then its time to make up your mind to have some character, to face up to your adulthood and take the time and effort to cultivate something meaningful. Not something that you KNOW is going to end badly for someone.
Maybe you are like a lot of people who are afraid of a successful relationship, because it means you have to stop playing games? It means you have to become vulnerable to the risk of losing, or the wonderful possibility that it works and you make a partner who loves and respects you and treats you in the way that you know you wanted to be treated...and best of all, theres' no trapdoors of truth that you'll have to pull from under the person that you love and want to be with.
Either way, the decisions that you make become who you are...and who you are is either someone you like or don't like very much...if you keep hurting yourself and other people with your decisions, I don't see how you could respect and like yourself as much as you could if you were making choices that you know are part of a healthy and confident character.
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