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Old 01-24-2014, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Glasgow, uk
2,386 posts, read 3,264,773 times
Reputation: 1593

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Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
If you have an open sore you can catch it if you come into any kind of contact with it, sexual or not. And you cannot catch genital herpes from someone by sharing a cup unless they have it someplace other than their genitals... unless they're putting cups on genitals nowadays... you'd need someone to have a mouth sore to give it to you from a cup or silverware. What kind of hospital is this that's telling you such things?

Btw? You can catch it from a towel, but it would have to be pretty recent contact, like having someone dry off with a towel who had shedding virus, and having you use the same towel on skin that was broken, but that's fairly unlikely.

ETA: I used to spend a LOT of time editing disease state materials for a major pharma co that marketed a herpes medication... I have read this stuff a million times, so you can trust me or not, but I have no dog in this race, for I do not have the herp.


The wife had it on her mouth then he caught it on his genitals then his mouth, that's why I was talking about cutlery etc however I as a nurse would not be sharing anything with patients obviously and neither would anyone else. My comment on that was in reference to sharing things like that with my SO if he had the condition.

I was told the only way I could catch what my patient had was from sexual contact/swapping bodily fluids which I obviously had no intension of doing.
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Old 01-24-2014, 04:18 PM
 
41 posts, read 37,812 times
Reputation: 39
I would date you without hesitation. As a matter of fact, if a man I was dating told me he had herpes before we had sex, it would be a reason I would CONTINUE dating him. You mr grumptacular, are to be commended for being honest and forthright, and I see you as someone who is much SAFER to date that someone who is a carrier and doesn't know it, or refuses to acknowledge it. Or knows it and remains in irresponsible denial, carries on without precaution, relying on luck to not transmit it.

Herpes is contagious when the person who has it is ignorant, in denial, dishonest and irresponsible. Herpes is managed and contained when the person who has it is aware, educated about it, honest and forthright and responsible. Herpes is rarely transmitted in an open, honest, aware and committed relationship.


In addition to educating yourself, and becoming very aware of the symptoms in your own body, tell your potential partner what I just told you - that she is actually LESS likely to contract herpes from you than she would be from someone who doesn't know they have i, or doesn`t care if they transmit it. Give her time to overcome her initial reaction, which is likely to be one of fear, and ask her to just take some time to learn and understand a bit more before she makes any decision about whether she wants to continue seeing you or not. Share some links with her, and show her the statistics that as many as 60 -80% of Americans are (or will become) carriers of the herpes virus (depending on age group). It is NOT uncommon, and there is NO shame in having it. It is relatively easy to live with, and quite easily managed. Anyone who thinks those who carry this virus are dirty or immoral or undateable or damaged goods in any way, should stop and recognize that they are NOT immune to contracting this or any disease, just because they believe themselves to be undeserving of it. STDs are NOT some kind of punishment for amorality or promiscuity, like so many people like to believe in order to convince themselves they are somehow better than others, and thus above becoming infected. THAT is an irresponsible and ignorant position to take, and how the spread of STDs become rampant in the first place.

Best regards to you, grumptacular. You might find that your particular set of circumstances serves you well in finding a truly wonderful, responsible, considerate and loving woman. If you meet someone who writes you off out of her own ignorance, prejudice and lack of capacity for understanding the big picture, know that you`re the one who dodged a bullet, not her.
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Old 01-24-2014, 05:45 PM
 
4,862 posts, read 7,945,756 times
Reputation: 5763
For me if I met a woman with a known STD it wouldn't work out. I shy away from women with kids let alone a STD. Of course that's just me. Not good or bad. Just me.

Disclaimer: I'm not equating kids to a STD. Just making a point.
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Old 01-24-2014, 07:42 PM
 
Location: In nature
348 posts, read 497,048 times
Reputation: 424
Quote:
Originally Posted by grumptacular View Post
I appreciate the feedback! I am dealing with a huge insecurity over this issue, So let me ask you ladies, and gentlemen, if someone took all the precautions, and was honest, would you still have sex them? LTR??
No way!! Just being honest.
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Old 01-25-2014, 11:04 AM
 
Location: All Over
4,003 posts, read 6,077,678 times
Reputation: 3162
I see plenty of ads on dating sites and craigslist people who put it out there right from the start they have a std. I can see it deterring many people and some people wont' even give you a chance but probably save yourself some heartache and headaches by doing it that way.

I disagree with what your friend said but at the same time I can see something being said for not waiting until your already being intimate but maybe waiting until the 2nd or 3rd date to bring this up. dont wait longer because then you and the other person get involved and they probably are like why didn't oyu tell me sooner but at the same time i dont think anybody airs their dirty laundry on the first date. let the person see you for you and not for a lable. also i think it'd be helpful to bring up you weren't out baning every broad at the bar and caught an std. you got it from your wife who im guessing cheated on you. its a more understandable story.
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