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Months ago, I mustered up the strength to call it quits on a toxic friendship. It wasn't a relationship or romantic thing, it was just a long time friendship that had turned sour and was not good for me emotionally or mentally, especially with the turmoil I have been going through with my ex. It was just a bad spot for me.
Haven't seen him or talked with him, I cut all connections, deleted out of my phone, etc.
And out of the blue 2 days ago, he sends me a middle the night message.. apologizing. Stated he was sorry for putting me through the crap he had put me through, was sorry for being such a terrible friend, sorry for not appreciating me, recognized that he was a narcissistic and selfish jerk, acknowledged that he does not want to continue that life path and wants to improve his life, and finished with he did not expect a response but finished with well wishes.
As I see it, nothing to gain by contacting me because it's not like I'm an available bootie call or anything; I'm not, and never have been. And, he's a known player that can get action any time he wants, so I don't see that as motivation (I could be wrong, he is a guy afterall).
Have any of you ever given the toxic person a second chance to redeem him or her self if they appear to be addressing the root problem within themselves?
"I cut off a toxic person... And then he came back? What the heck?"
Obviously you did NOT cut him out of your life!
You are still allowing communication AND you are wasting time thinking about him AND even writing threads about him.
I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him but let him know that I have no desire to have any kind of relationship with him and wish him good luck.
OP, he said he doesn't expect a response, so take him at his word. He's not trying to get back into your life. It sounds like your "dismissal" of him caused some reflection (pretty good for a player!), maybe he did a little soul-searching, and wanted to clear his conscience. That's all. You can move on without any worries.
OP, he said he doesn't expect a response, so take him at his word. He's not trying to get back into your life. It sounds like your "dismissal" of him caused some reflection (pretty good for a player!), maybe he did a little soul-searching, and wanted to clear his conscience. That's all. You can move on without any worries.
Thanks for this response.
It is hard to not feel a little nostalgia when someone that you've known for years comes back - it doesn't mean I am pursuing anything, but it also doesn't mean I wonder how that person is doing. I am only human.
It is hard to not feel a little nostalgia when someone that you've known for years comes back - it doesn't mean I am pursuing anything, but it also doesn't mean I wonder how that person is doing. I am only human.
Yeah, I totally get that. It's natural to hope people are doing well after however many years.
"I cut off a toxic person... And then he came back? What the heck?"
Obviously you did NOT cut him out of your life!
You are still allowing communication AND you are wasting time thinking about him AND even writing threads about him.
I am only human, and it is hard NOT to wonder about people whom you've known for a really long time. Yes, I am allowed to wonder about it - doesn't mean it goes beyond that. I do consider dropping avenues for contact is a means to drop contact. But, as we all know in the society of endless ways to contact a person, you can't predict how someone can communicate with you. He had a secondary email account I didn't have on my contact list, so I did not know to block it.
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