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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
Let me put it this way. You can increase the number of women that are "matches" for you if you change certain behaviors that are turning women off to you. I can garuantee you that there are dates that didn't go anywhere that if the guy had changed behaviors he didn't realize turned women off or didn't create attraction that would have been a "match."
What type of "behaviors? If they're who he is as a person, I would hope that he wouldn't change his core personality just to try to get a date (as that will fail in time), but what are you thinking of?
This is a long shot, but I wonder how many of these young dudes are influenced by popular culture (TV, movies, etc.) that implies that if a guy is just persistent enough or does all the right things, he can change a woman's mind and win her over.
I think that's a possibility. I don't know it that's the case for our OP, but it is certainly a reasonable theory on a general level. And I think it works both ways. In my dating days there were times when I was not feeling there was a connection and had women try to convince me otherwise. I think the best thing I ever learned was to be able to take no for an answer. The second a date told ms she didn't feel a connection I'd acknowledge that you can't fit a square peg into a round hole and we would go our ways. With so many great women out there I refused to fret over the ones who were not interested in me especially since I was not willing to force something with someone I had no interest in.
What type of "behaviors? If they're who he is as a person, I would hope that he wouldn't change his core personality just to try to get a date (as that will fail in time), but what are you thinking of?
Treating her like a goddess just for being hot, bringing flowers to date one, acting desperate, agreeing with everything she says, being a yes man, not taking the lead, etc etc. The list goes on and on. You never have to change your core personality to not act like a chump.
I think that's a possibility. I don't know it that's the case for our OP, but it is certainly a reasonable theory on a general level. And I think it works both ways. In my dating days there were times when I was not feeling there was a connection and had women try to convince me otherwise. I think the best thing I ever learned was to be able to take no for an answer. The second a date told ms she didn't feel a connection I'd acknowledge that you can't fit a square peg into a round hole and we would go our ways. With so many great women out there I refused to fret over the ones who were not interested in me especially since I was not willing to force something with someone I had no interest in.
What type of "behaviors? If they're who he is as a person, I would hope that he wouldn't change his core personality just to try to get a date (as that will fail in time), but what are you thinking of?
And the OP already admitted earlier in the thread that he's all worked up about this because of how hot she was and how good he'd look with her on his arm. He's likely willing to do or say anything to manipulate a woman into bed.
And the OP already admitted earlier in the thread that he's all worked up about this because of how hot she was and how good he'd look with her on his arm. He's likely willing to do or say anything to manipulate a woman into bed.
I don't know about this. You have to be good with women to be able to manipulate.
However I think he was willing to do anything for her to get her into bed which is classically a way to not get a woman into bed.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
Treating her like a goddess just for being hot, bringing flowers to date one, acting desperate, agreeing with everything she says, being a yes man, not taking the lead, etc etc. The list goes on and on. You never have to change your core personality to not act like a chump.
Flowers to date one? Seriously? Well, if some guys do these things (seriously?) they might need help, but treating a woman like a person never failed me. They're not goddesses or infallible, they're people.
Perhaps these are people that don't have female friends so they see women as a distinct species and can't talk to them. I don't know. It all seems fairly simple.
Flowers to date one? Seriously? Well, if some guys do these things (seriously?) they might need help, but treating a woman like a person never failed me. They're not goddesses or infallible, they're people.
Perhaps these are people that don't have female friends so they see women as a distinct species and can't talk to them. I don't know. It all seems fairly simple.
You'd be surprised.
And yes, treating a very hot woman like a normal human being is a step in the right direction and likely not what she is used to.
I'm quite positive the OP failed in this early and crucial step.
Flowers to date one? Seriously? Well, if some guys do these things (seriously?) they might need help, but treating a woman like a person never failed me. They're not goddesses or infallible, they're people.
Perhaps these are people that don't have female friends so they see women as a distinct species and can't talk to them. I don't know. It all seems fairly simple.
Well said. There is a big difference between being a gentleman who treats ladies with dignity and respect and someone who falls all over himself in a desperate attempt to please her. I think some guys mistake the latter for the former. Others think it takes manipulation or game and if you do it right a woman who is not interested can be swayed. I suppose maybe it's true. I never stuck around long enough to find out, though. I have way too much self respect to pursue a woman who has indicated she is not interested in me.
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