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Old 01-30-2014, 12:27 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,817 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello my name is heather, im 20 years old and married. Yes this is not a typo ,me and my husband just got married nov, 30th ,2012 and he just got a job at union pacific railroad, well here is a little more about me ... im a stay at home wife no kids and we just moved to salt lake city we just got our own first place wich we are very excited about ive been living with my husband scence i was 17 and he used to be home everyday now hes on 24 hr call and sometimes he dosent even come home until the next day or he travels which i do go whith him but i dont have any friends and dont have any body to talk to and now its causeing us to argue all the time is hard becase the rail road has the highest devorce rate than any job out there and i dont want us to be getting a devorce i love my husband but i dk what to do can any body please give me some advice thank you for takeing your time to read this and respond
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:30 PM
 
192 posts, read 492,461 times
Reputation: 209
Quite a bit older then you, but somewhat similar story. Husband was not able to join me right away in our move to a new location. So I got involved in our new community right away just for something to do at first. Now my calendar is so filled I am having problems picking and choosing activities. Get out and meet your neighbors, offer to babysit to help someone out. Are there Other young couples in your area? Invite them to dinner. First Christmas in our new neighborhood didn't know anyone, went around the neighborhood asking neighbors over for a get to know you party. Go to exercise classes, take a class at the community ed or college. Find a hobby you enjoy, take a part time job. Do not depend on your husband to be your sole friend, you are putting to much pressure on him to be everything for you. You need a life of your own also.
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Old 01-31-2014, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Park City
29 posts, read 37,239 times
Reputation: 21
Any evidence that he is playing the field? You mentioned that he may have multiple wives. Trust is a critical element of a relationship, and it sounds like you have no trust in your hubby. Have you spoken with him about your concerns? Communication is 2nd to trust on the marriage pecking order. The comments by Fripper are there to help you be less dependent and hyper-sensitive about your hubby. Read a couple of marriage and relationship building books, and put some of the suggested actions to practice.
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Old 01-31-2014, 09:36 AM
 
Location: The other side of the mountain
2,502 posts, read 6,954,138 times
Reputation: 1301
Uh..where did she mention that he may have multiple wives? She said "to all wifes" in the title..meaning she was asking ALL WIVES out in cyber land for help, not that he had a lot of them. She never said she doesn't trust him, only that he works a lot and is very lonely.

I would suggest that you find a part time job to keep yourself busy while he works. It will help you to meet some new friends, learn a skill and keep your mind sharp.
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Old 01-31-2014, 11:23 AM
 
164 posts, read 328,396 times
Reputation: 163
My wife is in similar situation I also work for UP out of SLC and am gone quite often and she hasn't met any friends since the move. Is he a trainmen, signal department or in maintenance of way?
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Old 01-31-2014, 11:27 AM
 
5,290 posts, read 5,209,273 times
Reputation: 18655
Get a job.
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Old 01-31-2014, 03:57 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 3,042,899 times
Reputation: 2678
Can you financially afford to go to school? Even a class or two each quarter/semester? Would your husband allow you to do that? That would be my first suggestion.

Would your husband support the notion that you work outside of the home, even parttime?
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Old 01-31-2014, 04:01 PM
 
Location: If I tell you, will you visit?
888 posts, read 1,097,389 times
Reputation: 981
Quote:
Originally Posted by connell93 View Post
Hello my name is heather, im 20 years old and married. Yes this is not a typo ,me and my husband just got married nov, 30th ,2012 and he just got a job at union pacific railroad, well here is a little more about me ... im a stay at home wife no kids and we just moved to salt lake city we just got our own first place wich we are very excited about ive been living with my husband scence i was 17 and he used to be home everyday now hes on 24 hr call and sometimes he dosent even come home until the next day or he travels which i do go whith him but i dont have any friends and dont have any body to talk to and now its causeing us to argue all the time is hard becase the rail road has the highest devorce rate than any job out there and i dont want us to be getting a devorce i love my husband but i dk what to do can any body please give me some advice thank you for takeing your time to read this and respond

I'm not a wife, but I would suggest occupying your time with going back to school. It takes a lot of time of your day, and can offer you some great skills if you ever find yourself on your own.

Sorry Molli. I hadn't read your post offering the same advise.
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Old 01-31-2014, 04:16 PM
 
Location: The Valley of the Sun
1,479 posts, read 2,711,696 times
Reputation: 1534
Quote:
Originally Posted by connell93 View Post
now its causeing us to argue all the time is hard becase the rail road has the highest devorce rate than any job out there
I kinda doubt that. Ask yourself who really causes the arguments. Ask yourself who raises the issues and who initiates the arguments. If its you then STOP IT. Just enjoy the time you have together because being a nasty ibtch is only going to drive him away from you.
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Old 01-31-2014, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,117 posts, read 63,519,992 times
Reputation: 92766
You partnered up with him when you were too young, so your self development stopped at that point. It is in your own best interest to start improving yourself and growing your own interests. Get your self training and get yourself a job. If you don't, you will just become a drag and he will lose interest.
Maybe you'll decide you made a mistake. If so, you will need to have a life of your own to fall back on.
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