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Yep, like she said ^. Kick him to the curb, after all .... what do you think he would do? It was how I dealt with both of my cheating ex witches and now I'm bitter, er um better for it! ;P
Well, I agree with the person who said it will be better in the morning.
Its cool to put it up here though, you'll have lots of people who will throw cold water on you and tell you to tough it out.
That really is the answer though. In my experience you do go through those days and weeks where thats all you think about, but then, if you make the effort you'll find that you go a whole day without thinking of them, then a whole week, then eventually it starts to feel like an old scar that you can barely remember how it got there.
I would agree with the minx about giving yourself a time frame, yah, really get into it, cry yourself a river - you'll feel better...then start to choose to do things instead of ruminating. One thing that helped me too, was to say it aloud, two or three phrases in response to the feelings that came up, " He is no longer a part of my present, he is a part of my past. I choose to move on for my self-preservation." Etc. etc.
You know its going to get better, everything will turn out alright.
I'm still willing to sacrifice so much for this one egotistical man who belittled so much of who I am and what I love.
...
It would be so much easier if I could just hate him, but even looking at a list of things he did to make me cry...I still cannot detest this man! I cannot!
Looks like we both ended our relationships at the same time, and for similar reasons.
No one says you have to hate him. In fact, hating him means you still have feelings for him. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
But if you need a reminder, read the part I highlighted in bold.
Then read it again.
And again.
Think of all the things he said to you, all the ways he insulted you, put you down, demeaned you, mocked you, and so on. Think of how little respect he had for you.
Can you honestly say you miss any of that?
My relationship was a lot longer than yours--7 years--and although I'm not sure what you sacrificed for yours, I'm willing to wager I sacrificed at least as much, and probably quite a bit more. If I can walk away, so can you.
Give it another week or so. Go out with friends. Bounce your story off them. Soon you will begin to see that it doesn't matter how good things might have been in the beginning. What matters is what happened recently. You'll see that no man is worth putting up with the part I put in bold. Not when there are so very many men out there who will not behave that way, who will cherish you for who you are and what you love, and not take their inner demons out on you.
Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another.[1] It also often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.[2] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.[2] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.[2] Narcissists are considered to be natural magnets for the codependent.
LOL. I will always love myself more OP. I love my husband but if he went too far to the point that I feel very maligned and disrespected . NOTHING can stop me from leaving even if I love him simply because I have self respect. And loving yourself more than anyone is the best thing you can do in your whole entire life.
I think you will never get this feeling toward him (hastiness) , Healing mean you need to get replacement such as surround your self with positive friends environment
The first word that popped into my head when reading your post was "codependent".
This is a guy that isn't happy, that didn't seem to want to live his own life, so you basically lived it for him, served as his inspiration, gave him the strength to keep going. Those are all things that he should be doing for himself. You deserve someone who can focus his love and attention on YOU, not wallow around like a waif and expect you to take care of him.
I dated one of those. They suck. And they don't WANT to change, because they like playing the victim. Eventually I had to ask myself, why do I ENJOY playing this mommy type of role where I am consistently getting nothing of value in return? You have to ask yourself that as well.
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Do not go back, onward and upward.... moving along the road of life.
