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Old 02-09-2014, 10:41 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,824 posts, read 2,286,127 times
Reputation: 2789

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I met this guy through a mutual friend. We spent a night out together with friends, drinking and having fun. There was obvious chemistry. The next day, he messaged me on facebook and said he'd love to take me out in the near future, gave me his number and asked for mine. I accepted, and gave him my number.

That was almost a week ago, and I've heard nothing. I talked to my mutual friend about him, and my friend says he's very shy when he really likes someone and it takes him a while to get up the guts to follow through on planning the first date. Basically the more he likes someone, the harder it is for him to make a move.

I'm on the fence about whether I should wait any longer for him to get up the guts to follow through on asking me out. I've dated guys in the past who were on the shy/sensitive side, and I ended up doing most of the work in the relationship because they weren't assertive. I didn't like that, and I don't want to set myself up again here.

Thoughts?
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
672 posts, read 853,374 times
Reputation: 844
Just ask him out instead and if it doesn't work out on the first date then move on. Sometimes guys that are really shy shouldn't be but they are because they doubt themselves. Sometimes guys are shy because they are anxious but they relax fairly quick and things go smooth. Remember this is just a date it doesn't mean that you need to get into a relationship with him, if you find yourself doing all the work then don't pursue a relationship with him. He may also be shy because he's very inexperienced.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:49 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,824 posts, read 2,286,127 times
Reputation: 2789
Quote:
Originally Posted by omaraz View Post
Just ask him out instead and if it doesn't work out on the first date then move on. Sometimes guys that are really shy shouldn't be but they are because they doubt themselves. Sometimes guys are shy because they are anxious but they relax fairly quick and things go smooth. Remember this is just a date it doesn't mean that you need to get into a relationship with him, if you find yourself doing all the work then don't pursue a relationship with him. He may also be shy because he's very inexperienced.
I can't imagine he's that inexperienced, because he's really attractive and has a great career. But, who knows. Could be one of those handsome & shy enigmas .
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:50 PM
 
11,738 posts, read 14,762,264 times
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If he has the guts to ask for your number he's basically already felt you out for interest. What else is he waiting for?

He can't be that shy.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:51 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,824 posts, read 2,286,127 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
If he has the guts to ask for your number he's basically already felt you out for interest. What else is he waiting for?

He can't be that shy.
That's where I'm confused. But it is a very different thing to ask someone out on facebook, versus actually GOING on the date. Maybe the in-person thing is choking him up? And yeah, that would be a problem!
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Old 02-09-2014, 11:48 PM
 
Location: CA
3,469 posts, read 7,270,433 times
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IDK, I'm not a man, but as a shy person, I see what you gave as a clear signal of interest. He KNOWS you expect him to call now, so there's little to be feared. One week is not THAT long. But mentally, IMO, you should start to move on. If he ever does call, then you'll get to be surprised, but also razz him a bit for taking so long
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Old 02-09-2014, 11:52 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,824 posts, read 2,286,127 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post
IDK, I'm not a man, but as a shy person, I see what you gave as a clear signal of interest. He KNOWS you expect him to call now, so there's little to be feared. One week is not THAT long. But mentally, IMO, you should start to move on. If he ever does call, then you'll get to be surprised, but also razz him a bit for taking so long
Oh god if I razz him after all this, I will scare him away for sure!
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Old 02-10-2014, 12:01 AM
 
184 posts, read 138,754 times
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If he's as good looking as you say, he probably has a lot of options. It's possible that the "chemistry" you felt is just because of his looks. Maybe you don't have any actual chemistry and you're just really attracted to him.

Maybe he realized how much you like him and decided to strike while the iron was hot. Then a better option came along. I've done that before.

With the way he was acting up until that point, it doesn't sound like he's very shy.
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Old 02-10-2014, 12:08 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,824 posts, read 2,286,127 times
Reputation: 2789
Quote:
Originally Posted by datxcali View Post
If he's as good looking as you say, he probably has a lot of options. It's possible that the "chemistry" you felt is just because of his looks. Maybe you don't have any actual chemistry and you're just really attracted to him.

Maybe he realized how much you like him and decided to strike while the iron was hot. Then a better option came along. I've done that before.

With the way he was acting up until that point, it doesn't sound like he's very shy.
Nah, we definitely had chemistry - mutual. All our friends noticed it. But I wasn't throwing myself at him or anything.

He did strike me as shy when I met him. I am the more playful one for sure. I guess time will tell.
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Old 02-10-2014, 06:06 AM
 
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 562,825 times
Reputation: 669
Some guys feel shy during their first date. So keep calm down and ask your bf he has any problem to do anything. or y he feel shy to do something on at date. Or you try to do work out with him you give him response and create the position like that he doesn't want to do anything but he does that thing which you want. If he feel shy then you have to cooperate with him.
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