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I think it's a little silly on your part to be upset about this. On the other hand, if you tell us she does other things like this, that would be different. I say go with the party idea. I can't imagine many 25 or 26 year olds wanting to stay in on their birthday.
If it makes your girlfriend happy, then it might not be as stupid as you think. You want her to be happy, right?
Put a bright smile on your face and go along with the plan. Her friends have it under control. All you need to do is participate. Ask them what you should do to make it a success.
I thought most people stopped having birthday parties by their early 20s. I can see having a couple friends over for drinks. But a full blown surprise party?
I thought most people stopped having birthday parties by their early 20s. I can see having a couple friends over for drinks. But a full blown surprise party?
I stopped having birthday parties when I was 16. Sweet 16 party and then I was done. Although I did have three friends buy me three drinks on my 21st birthday. Then again, I've never really been that into my birthday. But some people are.
OP, she's playing games... don't play games like her. It's immature and. If you know she wants a surprise party and it's something you can do, throw her one. But I would really take a good look at her behavior and see if there is a pattern of immaturity. I say pattern because everyone makes mistakes now and then and once in a while even people who are usually level headed act immature--maybe she's just one of those people who is really crazy about birthdays. But if it's a pattern in other aspects of your relationship, and it bothers you, you might need to have a talk with her.
The only thing odd here is you didn't smell the coffee when she told you she wanted to sit inside on her BIRTHDAY. Who in there right mind would say such a thing...unless she knew her friends would throw her a party, duh.
Live and learn dude, live and learn.
I would. A nice dinner (home or restaurant, either one) and a quiet evening is all I ever want.
Usually someone makes me a home-cooked meal.
Back to the op...I do think that is strange and I would watch it if I were you. I don't have time or energy for people who say one thing when they really want something else. That is probably a trend with her and will wear you out and cause problems in the long run.
I would. A nice dinner (home or restaurant, either one) and a quiet evening is all I ever want.
Usually someone makes me a home-cooked meal.
Back to the op...I do think that is strange and I would watch it if I were you. I don't have time or energy for people who say one thing when they really want something else. That is probably a trend with her and will wear you out and cause problems in the long run.
You're probably right, but if the woman is otherwise sane, it might just be a quirk of personality.
I echo those who have said to just do what she requested. Stay home, order out and get some good movies to watch. It's not a milestone birthday so what's the need for a surprise party? If she wants a birthday party, book a time slot at Chuck E. Cheese for 20 of her closest friends, give them some tokens and buy them pizza and beer. Sounds childish to tell you one thing then tell her friends she wants a surprise party.
So my girlfriends birthday is coming up. I asked what she would like to do for it. She told me that she prefers to stay in and rest for the day, watch a movie and order in.
This morning I got a message from a friend of hers offering to help plan my GF's birthday party. I told the friend that my GF told me she prefers to stay in for that day.
The friend then replies back saying that my GF actually told all of her friends that she prefers I throw her a Surprise Birthday Party. This same thing has been confirmed by two separate girls. Do you think its as dumb as I do that my girlfriend is essentially planning her own surprise party? She is turning 27 and I am 25 yet I feel like I am back in high school.
I find it ridiculous as well. I don't have time for people who say one thing and mean another, or secretly hope for something. They are setting themselves up for disappointment when they have silent expectations of others that those others can't possibly meet.
I wouldn't simply get on board with a surprised party, because I don't care to be manipulated or play games like that. I would ask her why she told you she just wants to stay in, but is telling her friends she's hoping you're having a party, after you specifically asked her what she'd like to do on her special day.
Buy her a nice card (write some heartfelt words in it), pick up a hand full of fresh, sweet smelling Carnations, from a roadside stand. Buy a yummy pizza, some wine, & get a movie your lady will enjoy. Get comfy in front of the fireplace.
I know I said she's game playing, but I've been thinking about this and something occurred to me. It could be games, but maybe it's not games so much as someone not knowing how best to communicate something. What if she's not game playing, really wants a surprise party (for whatever reason), and didn't know how to ask for one. So when you asked her, she didn't know what to say... but then she told her friends and asked them to help you (since you said her friends offered to help--I doubt that came out of the blue). I can guarantee your girlfriend knows you know she want's a surprise party. Even if she didn't specifically ask you.
I think if you ignore the surprise party, there are going to be hard feelings/let down on your girlfriend's part. So the question is, does this whole incident cause bad feelings for you (on your part). If not, what's the harm. But no matter what, you both might want to look at communication issues. There really might not be any (it might be that it's just an awkward thing asking for a surprise party) but it's also best not to ignore anything like this that bothers you.
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