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I know, this kind of topic has probably been discussed already, but I'd really appreciate advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now, I'm 26, he'2 29. We don't live together but we spend around 6 days/nights per week together. In the beginning we had a lot of sex, at least once a day,sometimes 3 times a day and he initiated it a lot. I know that it's absolutely normal to decrease the longer you've been together. But I start thinking that my boyfriend maybe doesn't find me attractive enough anymore, or whatever it could be. Physically I haven't changed at all, I'm still skinny and work out a lot.
We have about 2-3 times sex per week (more like two times). After just 1.5 years of relationship I find that really low (after 10 years of relationship I would probably see it differently). It didn't decrease from one day to another, but the first year we had sex every day/almost every day and from then it started decreasing. He doesn't initiate it very often, maybe once every one of two weeks. When I initiate it he sometimes turns me down (I start touching his penis and he doesn't really react, just keeps watching tv), sometimes he doesn't turn me down.
I'm fine with initiating it sometimes, but at the moment I feel like it's me who initiates it most of the time. The sex is really good though and he also tells me how much he enjoys it.
His job hasn't changed at all, he has a good, pretty relaxed job and barely comes home from work tired. He also doesn't have any other problems, family-related or so. He's a healthy happy man and except of the lack of sex our relationship is going really great, we're spending a lot of time together, do things together, laugh, talk, watch movies, cuddle and kiss a lot. I just sometimes don't get it. I mean, I don't have to have sex every night. But let's say it's Saturday and we spend all day together, we could easily have sex, but he often prefers to be on the computer, cuddle, run errands or just do other stuff. It's also not a problem of me not trying to be sexy for him- as I said, I work out a lot and I have sexy underwear or sometimes I'm just in sleeping clothes without underwear. He also isn't a lazy guy, he also works out a lot and isn't the kind of guy who's in bed all day eating chips. I've tried to talk to him about it but he usually just shaked his head and said that of course he finds me attractive and that we have enough sex and that what I say doesn't make any sense (sometimes he gets pissed for it, as if I offended his maleness).
I don't know if I'm making too much of a big deal out of it or if I have reason to be worried. As I said, I don't need sex every single day, but 2-3 times a week after just 1.5 years of relationship appears really low to me, especially because we're really spending a LOT of time together (and not just see each other 2-3 times a week). I would like to have sex more, but I also don't always wanna be the person who initiates, plus I feel stupid when I start touching his penis and he just doesn't react and keeps watching tv or so (even when his penis gets a bit hard).
Thanks for your opinion/advice!
The best advice is TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE knows why he does not want sex much and asking random strangers what the problem with HIM is will NOT solve your issue.
The best advice is TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE knows why he does not want sex much and asking random strangers what the problem with HIM is will NOT solve your issue.
She has talked to him several times, she said. Did you see the part where he insists they're having "enough" sex, and she said if she presses the point, he gets offended? Talking hasn't worked, that's why she turned to us.
I don't wanna make a big drama out of this and I really don't wanna put him under pressure that he has to think he HAS to give it to me or otherwise I'll make drama.
I tried to talk to him about it a few times, but as I said he usually just says that this is not true, that we're having enough sex and that I'm trying to create a problem although there is none.
Just be persistent in your approach. Sometimes, people just say no. I was in a similar LTR and found that I really just wasn't speaking his sex language. Sometimes they just aren't in the mood to "perform."
I was way too overt sometimes but he really got turned on when I initiated conversation with him about his hobbies and passions. Sometimes I would engage his fantasies. It works and it's fun.
Just be persistent in your approach. Sometimes, people just say no. I was in a similar LTR and found that I really just wasn't speaking his sex language. Sometimes they just aren't in the mood to "perform."
I was way too overt sometimes but he really got turned on when I initiated conversation with him about his hobbies and passions. Sometimes I would engage his fantasies. It works and it's fun.
And you're available now? ........lol, I'm too old for you, I am sure! Anyway, sex just isn't complete without a bucket of KFC near the bed! Good to see you again, Brianna!
I know, right? If the OP's man is making her feel like there's something wrong with her for expressing her natural desires, she might consider trading him in for a turbo-charged model. There are plenty out there, and they're not all players, they're regular Joes. Life's too short to not be enjoyed. If her man's this slow at 29, what's he going to be like at 35, when she's at her max? There are dudes out there who can appreciate all that she has to offer. ALL of it. Every last drop. lol!
Sometimes the quality of the sex is better when you build anticipation. 2 times a week is pretty light but 3-4 times a week is pretty good. As long as you know that he is on board and you are 100% certian that your getting some on that second day. If its always a crap shoot then I agree thats not fun.
Leona, this is actually a very common situation. Some may consider it as an "issue" but to most guys, it is quite normal.
He knows it'll be fun but physically he has to be up for it, in both ways.
If you are certain he is not cheating, there is the possibility he might be taking having sex with you for granted. This happens to most anyone with almost anything they can easily access at will. It is a human condition. Initially, when a guy is horny, he won't get tired of taking Vitamin F, as someone called it, but later on, when his body is no longer suffering from Vitamin F deficiency, he won't.
If you want to change things, you could try either spicing things up (different positions/kinky outfit, drugs, etc. whatever is your and his cup of tea).
-OR-
Increase his Vitamin F deficiency. Have him starve a little.
PS. If you will try the kinky outfit route, make sure to post a few pictures so I can give you a free, candid feedback on whether it'd work or not, OK?
^^^ The drop-off in his level of activity was due to no longer being Vitamin F-deficient?
Wow. The things you learn on this forum!
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...lol, I'm too old for you, I am sure! Anyway, sex just isn't complete without a bucket of KFC near the bed! 
