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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ
You are so right about that. When you are doing bad financially all the hings below come before dating
Rent
Bills
Food
And other things.
Can I afford to date? Yes. And I am dating someone a bit, but because I'm saving for a condo downpayment and a trip it does give me pause. We do things that cost some money and some things that don't, but when it comes to the summer and she'll want to go to music festivals, or Block Island or Provincetown for a weekend, or up to Maine... well, a couple of hundred for my half a pop. I can handle it, but it doesn't help me in saving.
I do. When I am unemployed, or poorly employed, and sadly it has happened a few times in my life (hopefully never again, but you never know), then yes, dating was something I didn't do. I needed my time, energy, and the little money I had (for classes, networking events, etc) to try to improve my situation. Dating / women / relationships become the lowest priority.
When you're doing that badly financially, spending $20 or so on romantic pursuits, isn't responsible in my book. Dating money is entertainment money. Excess money in other words. You have to have a cushion to have an excess.
I think you missed my point. I always believe life is a balancing art.
Let's say you are unemployed, with very little income. There is a girl who really wants to get to know you and she truly cares about you. You too can sill get into a healthy relationship without spending a lot of money.
I don't know if this is reality, but I would like to believe there are people out there don't really care about money that much. I've been poor when I was in college, being poor changed my outlook in life.
My parents are loaded, but they are sometimes too careful when it comes to risk taking or enjoying their lives. Both my brothers are loaded, they also live their lives to the fullest.
I certainly have dated poor folks, and my most wonderful dating experience is with somebody with very little income. We came up with fun ideas making money and helping each other is part of the fun.
I think you might want to consider giving poor people some hopes, they can date, live their lives. That doesn't mean they should stop trying to improve the quality of their lives. But you can certainly enjoy yourself and others with very little money. It is not either or. People can have both.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
What about just laying on the couch watching tv? In your world is that too expensive? Because most relationships come down to doing those things on more of a regular basis. Renting movies and taking in take out. But if you have no money at all, then you can make food from home and get cozy on the couch. Statistics have proven that people are going to get with each other regardless of what either persons income is.
I don't have a TV and haven't for decades. Don't want one in my house.
I have money to do stuff, I'm not talking about me.
And the last thing I want to do is stand around and cook with someone. Good grief.
i was pretty broke when i started dating the woman i married. i told her i was pretty broke (i was a grad student waiting for my first stipend check). i made her a lot of dinners. and we walked to the beach at night.
I don't have a TV and haven't for decades. Don't want one in my house.
I have money to do stuff, I'm not talking about me.
And the last thing I want to do is stand around and cook with someone. Good grief.
Cooking can be intimate with your SO. I love cooking although I have few dishes of my own. Off topic. I think it's soothing. But I'm somewhat of an odd duck anyway. I don't even mind doing the dishes. It's a good time to think about things/ life in that time. My sisters the same way. Why do you seem to need a medium for a date? You can be intimate cooking together. Why do you need to spend money to distract you. You can't just be with a women quietly in a room without other distractions? Those are the best days. Those are the times when you talk about things and learn a lot about each other. Those have always been my most memorable type of dates.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
Let's say you are unemployed, with very little income. There is a girl who really wants to get to know you and she truly cares about you. You too can sill get into a healthy relationship without spending a lot of money.
If I'm unemployed, there is absolutely nothing I should be doing other than changing that situation. Getting involved in relationship is the last thing I should do. I don't have the time, energy or money and there is a significant chance I will need to relocate for a job.
I'm also certainly not going to be in any mentally health or emotionally healthy place to nurture a relationship. Maybe it is different for you, but for me, like almost all men I know, when we're unemployed it is very very depressing. It eats at your self worth and trashes ones self esteem. It certainly isn't a time where we can support someone else emotionally.
I think you missed my point. I always believe life is a balancing art.
Let's say you are unemployed, with very little income. There is a girl who really wants to get to know you and she truly cares about you. You too can sill get into a healthy relationship without spending a lot of money.
I don't know if this is reality, but I would like to believe there are people out there don't really care about money that much. I've been poor when I was in college, being poor changed my outlook in life.
My parents are loaded, but they are sometimes too careful when it comes to risk taking or enjoying their lives. Both my brothers are loaded, they also live their lives to the fullest.
I certainly have dated poor folks, and my most wonderful dating experience is with somebody with very little income. We came up with fun ideas making money and helping each other is part of the fun.
I think you might want to consider giving poor people some hopes, they can date, live their lives. That doesn't mean they should stop trying to improve the quality of their lives. But you can certainly enjoy yourself and others with very little money. It is not either or. People can have both.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
Cooking can be intimate with your SO. I love cooking although I have few dishes of my own. Off topic. I think it's soothing. But I'm somewhat of an odd duck anyway. I don't even mind doing the dishes. It's a good time to think about things/ life in that time. My sisters the same way. Why do you seem to need a medium for a date? You can be intimate cooking together. Why do you need to spend money to distract you. You can't just be with a women quietly in a room without other distractions? Those are the best days. Those are the times when you talk about things and learn a lot about each other. Those have always been my most memorable type of dates.
Ok. You like cooking. I don't. I have no interest in cooking or even eating (other than neccesity). Cooking is intimate? Gah.
And get off the fruity crap. Can I be in a room and not say anything? Sure, am I going to do that when I'm dating someone? No. That is stuff you do when you're living together or have been together. I don't want to be freaking soothed, I want to do things. The point of dating is to do things together. Climb mountains. Kayak. Bike. Run. Travel. Not sit around and watch a screen.
Maybe you like sitting around, cooking, eating, probably drinking wine or other such stuff. I have no desire to do that crud. Anyone that wants to sit around like that is someone I'm not interested in dating.
If I'm unemployed, there is absolutely nothing I should be doing other than changing that situation. Getting involved in relationship is the last thing I should do. I don't have the time, energy or money and there is a significant chance I will need to relocate for a job.
I'm also certainly not going to be in any mentally health or emotionally healthy place to nurture a relationship. Maybe it is different for you, but for me, like almost all men I know, when we're unemployed it is very very depressing. It eats at your self worth and trashes ones self esteem. It certainly isn't a time where we can support someone else emotionally.
I understand what you are saying. But thread topic is
" how do people with little or no money get into relationship?" I prefer to give people some encouragement and hopes.
If I'm unemployed, there is absolutely nothing I should be doing other than changing that situation. Getting involved in relationship is the last thing I should do. I don't have the time, energy or money and there is a significant chance I will need to relocate for a job.
I'm also certainly not going to be in any mentally health or emotionally healthy place to nurture a relationship. Maybe it is different for you, but for me, like almost all men I know, when we're unemployed it is very very depressing. It eats at your self worth and trashes ones self esteem. It certainly isn't a time where we can support someone else emotionally.
You want to make god laugh, tell him your plans. The first thing to learn in life is things come, (like meeting someone) when you least expect it and timing can't matter. Suppose the girl of your dreams asked you out when you were broke? If you said no, because of your own issues, you might have missed out on an opportunity to get with your future wife perhaps. It's hard to meet someone who you can fall in love with. That's why it doesn't happen everyday, and for some for many, many years. Because it doesn't happen every day and you can't exactly put it on a schedule you have to keep your options open regardless of wherever else you are in life. You can't say for instance, after I get a job, an apartment, graduate school, etc then I will find the one. Yes, that sounds ideal, but it's not realistic. The one comes when you least expect it. Not always necessarily when you are ready for it. Unfortunately, that's life.
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