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I kinda like the OP's laid-back attitude. Notice, for example, that when his gf blew in while he was chilling, and laid a trip on him, he didn't buy into her drama. He was very calm, and only asked, "Problem?" There's something to be said for maintaining that type of calm in the midst of a hurricane. I admire that.
Yeah.
I did... and I had classes during the day.
I never drank mid-day, and I knew no one who did. Maybe that is why I feel the girlfriend would be better off without him. We have similar attitudes towards the college experience.
You sound fun. I know hundreds of people that day drank, at least on the weekend. Not an everyday thing, but never? You sound boring as hell.
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 678,780 times
Reputation: 673
Sometimes couples fight over stupid little things when they are really angry about something else. If you're angry about money, spending time together, wanting time to yourselves, or something else and are avoiding it, it's very easy to get hurt and fight over little stuff.
Even if you're not angry over something big, some couples fight because one (or both) of them feels ignored. One of the easiest ways to get attention and feel like the other person cares about you is to yell at each other and then make up. So if you're not feeling like she's paying enough attention to you, you may be more prone to getting your feelings hurt.
Appoligizing for hurtful things that you've said while your angry is what ADULTS do in a relationship. Sulking off by yourself until your partner comes groveling is not the mature way to be a couple.
But, when you have a geniune problem or have really gotten your feelings hurt you need to talk to her about it, not just appologize so everyone is happy again.
Instead of yelling or accusing and saying mean things, you need to tell your girlfriend why you are hurt. Don't beat around the bush or just try to hurt her back, but explain what happened and why you are upset.
For example: She has left her wet bathtowel on the floor for the thousandth time instead of in the hamper. You trip over it in the middle of the night. You feel like she has no respect for your house or your stuff and that she's just walking all over you.
So in the morning you say something snotty. She doesn't know what's going on and says something mean back. She doesn't know that you tripped on her towel last night and nearly broke your neck. She just knows you're being a jerk this morning.
Instead of ruining the whole day, just tell her what happened AND how it made you feel. Let her know that you're insulted when she can't do little things to clean up after herself and that it really makes a big difference to you when she cares enough to tidy up. She may not realize the towels on the floor are a huge issue. You have to tell her so she understands why you're all upset.
You have to learn to talk to each other and sort out what's really wrong to keep a relationship strong. When you're fighting over every little thing, it's time to look at the real problem.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
LOL!
Take another look...
I said I never drank mid-day in college, NOT that I never drank.
Is that your benchmark for a non-"boring-as-hell" person? That they have to drink mid-day?
That's what most alcoholics do...
Never did a pub crawl? Or tail gate before a game? or do a Hash House Harrier run?
Wow. Huh.
BTW, lots of alcoholic don't drink mid day, or in the morning... most are just like every other drinker, except they are addicts and can't stop. Most are functional and are in all segments of society. Saying "that is what an alcoholic does" really misses out on what alcoholism is. You're statements indicated you looked down on someone having a drink on a weekend afternoon and implied that they were likely alcoholics which shows an incredible misunderstanding about alcoholism.
So - she points out all the things that you do that upset her, and you keep all the things that upset you to yourself. Yeah - that's healthy.
Healthy relationships are built on communication. You have an issue - you talk about it. You feel that you aren't talking about things constructively - you voice your opinion.
So - she points out all the things that you do that upset her, and you keep all the things that upset you to yourself. Yeah - that's healthy.
Healthy relationships are built on communication. You have an issue - you talk about it. You feel that you aren't talking about things constructively - you voice your opinion.
But at the same time, I think my keeping to myself is 10x better than getting on her about every little thing.
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