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This is easy to answer. You've made a false analogy.
Buying things on sale only involves the person doing the buying. It would be tacky, for example, to buy a gift for someone, and then tell them you found it at a garage sale, or on sale at Wal-Mart. Nobody does that.
I do not personally know ANYONE that refuses to buy gifts onsale, even at Walmart. I think I can safely assume that almost anything I have ever received at Christmas was on sale somewhere.
Granted I only know a very few people that brag about getting things second hand, but it is not completely unheard of in my circles. Vintage is just another name for used or second hand still isnt it? Antiques are almost always second hand or used items. I think my wife is the only person who buys things new and has to wait to find someone to give them to. She has a few childs toys that she bought 5 years ago waiting for the intended recipient to get old enough to use them.
My own family is a bit out of the ordinary though. We wait til the after christmas sales and go out as a group and pick our presents, and yes they are absolutely on sale. We make out much better than spending our money before the sales and we don't have to return anything ever. I can often buy my wifes gifts at 70-80% off pre christmas prices so she gets much nicer gifts because I spend the same amount of money as I would have before.
As far as the quality of restaurants that offer coupons, I do not live in Manhattan or San Francisco; but we do have some nicer steakhouses in Texas (almost ALL require shoes and shirts or they wont feed you) and I have been able to find coupons or discounts for all of them in one venue or another. Restaurant.com and similar sites sell discount vouchers for lots of high end eateries, even Manhattan and San Francisco I am told, and those vouchers work just like the Burger King coupons.
Forget the limitation on students and young kids. There are a great many bluecollar working people that cannot afford to blow $200 on a first date. Would you be more impressed if they took you to a nice upscale chain and told you to get whatever you wanted and used a coupon to pay or if they took you to a really clean fast food joint and told you to get two cause they are small?
I do not personally know ANYONE that refuses to buy gifts onsale, even at Walmart. I think I can safely assume that almost anything I have ever received at Christmas was on sale somewhere.
My own family is a bit out of the ordinary though. We wait til the after christmas sales and go out as a group and pick our presents, and yes they are absolutely on sale.
Forget the limitation on students and young kids. There are a great many bluecollar working people that cannot afford to blow $200 on a first date. Would you be more impressed if they took you to a nice upscale chain and told you to get whatever you wanted and used a coupon to pay or if they took you to a really clean fast food joint and told you to get two cause they are small?
You're way off the mark with your arguments, again. I never said people refuse to buy gifts on sale. Re-read my post. And you say you "safely assume" your Xmas gifts were bought on sale. THAT is my point: that you need to assume, because no one ever tells the recipient of a gift that they cheapskated them by buying on sale. People often buy the nicest gift they can afford, and try to get more mileage out of the $$ by buying on sale. The purpose of that is to get a gift they normally wouldn't be able to afford, something that would be a real treat for the recipient, but the sale price allows them to go beyond their normal spending power. They DON'T then turn around and tell the recipient that the special gift was bought in the bargain basement. When they buy things for themselves, however, they don't mind telling their friends they got their towels or their easy chair on sale. See the difference?
You admit you come from a family culture that views these things differently, that's why you're having difficulty understanding how people strategize with their gift-buying.
Who spends $200 on a first date? Who said anything about that at all? I don't even know anyplace that charges that much for dinner. I posted that no money at all, or very little needs to be spent on the first date, and dinner isn't at all necessary. You seem to be responding to some other member's post, not mine.
If a blue-collar guy wants to take someone out to dinner at some point in a courtship, it's not difficult to do that for around $25 in most cities. But I don't believe in dinner as a first date. I think dinner out should be a treat, not something ordinary.
Our conventional dating culture causes so much confusion and awkwardness. If two people don't know each other well enough to avoid unpleasant surprises when it's time to pay the bill, they have no business going to a restaurant together.
I would not allow the date to pay on the first few dates so the coupon thing would not apply. I don't think I'd go for a sit down dinner on a first date though. Maybe coffee or something short so if either party knows it's not going to work out they won't have to make small talk or feel awkward.
Well, there is a difference between those things. One you're buying for yourself and no one knows the wiser. The other is treating a prospective partner and they do know what you're doing.
Not very comparable situations.
To me it is just about not wanting to appear cheap or frugal as a first impression. Saving money isn't the issue exactly. There is nothing wrong with being conscious about spending or bargains, but when you're making it your first impression to someone you're trying to impress (supposedly) it just seem tacky. It gives the impression that you might try to do everything on the cheap and if you can't you won't do it.
Again, this is different for college kids/youngsters.
Different strokes, I guess. I see frugality as an asset.
I don't mind. I think coupons are a great way to try a new place without losing too much if it sucks. I've discovered a lot of new places I like simply because I had a coupon.
My city has a lot of local restaurants that advertise with $5 off coupons or whatever. It's not about going to chains.
Don't go to dinner for the first date. I stopped doing that years ago. I got real tired of spending $50 on dinner with a gal I knew I was never going to call again.
Frozen Yogurt or mini golf.
Frozen Yogurt is awesome because you can tell if shes a healthy eater or not. Nothing but candy on the yogurt...
Mini golf is fun cause you get to see if shes competitive or not. Plus, you can make a bet. If you think its going well and you win, bet a kiss. If not, bet another date.
Dinner is so awkward. Wondering about how you look eating. What she's eating. Thinking "she better not order seafood or some other expensive ass plate." and "If I get a cheaper plate, will she follow?"
Frozen Yogurt is cool. Mini golf, not so much. And if you're worried about her ordering something expensive off the menu, you shouldn't be taking her to dinner in the first place. I agree--dinner's completely unnecessary on the first date, or the second date. Where do people get this 1st date--dinner cliche, anyway? The movies? That is so 1940's! Leave it in the 40's where it belongs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dub D;
Frozen Yogurt or mini golf.
Frozen Yogurt is awesome because you can tell if shes a healthy eater or not. Nothing but candy on the yogurt...
Mini golf is fun cause you get to see if shes competitive or not. Plus, you can make a bet. If you think its going well and you win, bet a kiss. If not, bet another date.
Dinner is so awkward. Wondering about how you look eating. What she's eating. Thinking "she better not order seafood or some other expensive ass plate." and "If I get a cheaper plate, will she follow?"
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Take note!
Mini golf, not so much. 
And if you're worried about her ordering something expensive off the menu, you shouldn't be taking her to dinner in the first place. I agree--dinner's completely unnecessary on the first date, or the second date. Where do people get this 1st date--dinner cliche, anyway? The movies? That is so 1940's! Leave it in the 40's where it belongs.
