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My ex fiancee and I were engaged for 10 years. I really tried with him. One day he found an email on my laptop from another guy that I was flirting with. I dumped him and moved on with my life after that time. When I dumped him he lost it, said he loved me...cried, said he couldn't live with out me..he went crazy...crying to ex neighbor (She actually called me saying she couldn't deal with this)
I got curious and checked out his facebook page. All I can say is ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! He lost a ton of weight, he got an apartment in manhattan, his picture page shows him drinking a beer, he NEVER drank when he was with me...and he hated bars. He lives in my old neighborhood where I went to college, how did he do that when his credit was shot!?!?!? I used to go to every movie with him that he wanted to go to, and every now and then I'd bug him to go to a concert with me and he never did because he didn't like concerts and I go on his page and see he is a big billy joel fan now!?!? I've loved Billy since I was 8 years old. Subconsciously he must be doing this to **** me off.
I inquired with a couple of people that still talk to him and they say he is not the same person anymore. He's much more outgoing, funny and laid back than he used to be apparently. He's seeing women left and right, living the life I lived in college but he's in his mid 40s. He was very rigid, I used to hang out at my brothers house but he would never go saying the smell of pot gave him a headache...pathetic huh?
I guess my resentment is why wasn't he like this when he was with me? I pushed and pushed and pushed for over a decade and he just worked and played video games. My current guy proposed to me a few months ago, I accepted and I can not stop thinking about my ex fiancee. Combined with his current outlook on life and the reasons I fell in love with him even before that I'm having second thoughts. I find myself almost daily unblocking him from my facebook page so I can see what is going on in his life, I feel like I'm missing out. I'm with a wonderful man now and I thought it would pass, but it's been over 2 weeks since I looked him up.
I can not stop thinking about him, he was half the man I wanted 10 years ago, now he's become all of it.
I want to forget about him, or call him...or something...It keeps me up at night. Thanks for letting me spew.
The break up was the catalyst to his change. I tend to work out harder, eat better etc. after a break up.
Don't call him. You'd be talking to a stranger. He's not the guy you broke up with, not the guy he was when you were going behind his back, flirting with other guys.
Sounds like the title of a new movie sequal to me.
Although this post is probably full of as much fiction as a hollywood movie, my advice is to move on already. 3 years later? Moving on is long over due.
Have you considered that you may have self-destructive tendencies, first with your ex-fiance, when you were flirting with another guy, and now with your new fiance? Perhaps it's not so much that you want your ex back but that you can't tolerate settling down and focusing on the future? I think if you got back together with your ex, you'd just pine after your current guy and how great he is.
For whatever reason, you and your ex did not work out. Let it go!
I moved on. But someone mentioned him to me and i was curious, now I can't stop thinking about him.
Your issue not his and apparantly you haven't moved on or none of this would bother you and you would have never looked at his whatever it was you looked at just out of curiosity.
You haven't moved on totally, or you wouldn't have started this thread. He seems to have moved on, and seems to enjoy his new life w/o you in it. Let it go!
Have you considered that you may have self-destructive tendencies, first with your ex-fiance, when you were flirting with another guy, and now with your new fiance? Perhaps it's not so much that you want your ex back but that you can't tolerate settling down and focusing on the future? I think if you got back together with your ex, you'd just pine after your current guy and how great he is.
LOL! I concur. I wonder how long the engagement with this new guy lasts. I mean who gets engaged for 10 years with no marriage happening? That just blows my mind.
OP my reaction to your post is... ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!
LOL! I concur. I wonder how long the engagement with this new guy lasts. I mean who gets engaged for 10 years with no marriage happening? That just blows my mind.
We had another new member here recently who posted that she was engaged to her guy for a few years and counting, no end date scheduled for the engagement (no wedding date). Maybe open-ended engagements are the new thing? 10 years must be a record, though.
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