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Old 02-23-2014, 10:03 PM
 
181 posts, read 217,826 times
Reputation: 180

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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
No, I wouldn't...

And I think it's disgusting that you think nothing of hurting this guy and turning his life upside down, and then just skipping away like all is well. Only a selfish, vindictive, bottom-feeder would feel good about doing something like that.

Your bf may have cheated, but honestly, you are no better if this kind of revenge gets you all giddy inside.
You are not a selfish, vindictive, bottom-feeder. You posted about revenge before you acted with revenge. You have a heart and a conscience but you are using the wrong values and you need to put yourself in touch with the better instincts inside you.
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Old 02-24-2014, 04:23 AM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,446,160 times
Reputation: 1294
Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
My boyfriend is starting something with a married woman. This is mutual, they're making plans, she's complaining about her husband the usual bull. I am very angry and Im not just going to leave. She knows we are together and I am sick of being disrespected. (by both of them.) I am thinking to let him (the husband) know what is going on. Any other ideas?
There is a natural phenomenon for revenge it is called KARMA. You might not be there to witness it, but we all know karma is a bi-tch.

I just rely on karma on all people who have wronged me. I may not be there to 'appreciate' it but I'm sure karma will come to them sooner or later. I am SURE of it.
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Old 02-24-2014, 04:55 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,263,657 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteakGuy View Post
You are not a selfish, vindictive, bottom-feeder. You posted about revenge before you acted with revenge. You have a heart and a conscience but you are using the wrong values and you need to put yourself in touch with the better instincts inside you.
Meh.

She didn't merely post about revenge. She asked for ideas. She said that she felt "somewhat" bad. She fully intends to go through with it - unless she changed her mind. And I see no indication of a change of heart in any of her posts.

How is she not a selfish, vindictive, bottom feeder?

Selfish - she is only thinking of her pain; she doesn't give a damn about the husband. Her reason for telling is for her own selfish ends.

Vindictive - The title of this thread says it all.

Bottom feeder - She would feel joy in bringing an innocent party into this.



I do not see evidence of a conscience.
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:37 AM
 
181 posts, read 217,826 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Meh.

She didn't merely post about revenge. She asked for ideas. She said that she felt "somewhat" bad. She fully intends to go through with it - unless she changed her mind. And I see no indication of a change of heart in any of her posts.

How is she not a selfish, vindictive, bottom feeder?

Selfish - she is only thinking of her pain; she doesn't give a damn about the husband. Her reason for telling is for her own selfish ends.

Vindictive - The title of this thread says it all.

Bottom feeder - She would feel joy in bringing an innocent party into this.
I do not see evidence of a conscience.
She is honest enough to admit the truth and she posts about her plans concerning revenge. This to me reveals she is asking for help in finding reasons TO NOT hurt anyone and that she has guilt feelings about her revenge ideas. All she needs is some encouragement to be more spiritual and walk away......A true selfish. vindictive person would do the revenge first and post about it later.

I know the difference between a selfish hateful person and the original poster.............

I've been there and I regret it.
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:53 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,263,657 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteakGuy View Post
She is honest enough to admit the truth and she posts about her plans concerning revenge. This to me reveals she is asking for help in finding reasons TO NOT hurt anyone and that she has guilt feelings about her revenge ideas. All she needs is some encouragement to be more spiritual and walk away......A true selfish. vindictive person would do the revenge first and post about it later.

I know the difference between a selfish hateful person and the original poster.............

I've been there and I regret it.

Nope. She asked for OTHER ideas to hurt these people. She specifically stated that.

People need encouragement now to not gladly drag innocent people into their mess?
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Old 02-24-2014, 07:11 AM
 
181 posts, read 217,826 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Nope. She asked for OTHER ideas to hurt these people. She specifically stated that.

People need encouragement now to not gladly drag innocent people into their mess?
She asked for a lot of different things including reasons to use revenge and reasons to not use revenge.

By posting her plans, she asked to be advised against using revenge as well as asked to be encouraged to seek revenge. There's good and bad in most or in all people so she realized she'd get spiritual minded and other higher level feedback as well as low level feedback...........There's good and there's bad in myself, in you, in her and she needs to get back in touch with her higher side. I have to believe her good side posted looking to be encouraged to walk away without getting revenge because the lower side of a person would commit the revenge without posting about it first.
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Old 02-24-2014, 07:32 AM
 
181 posts, read 217,826 times
Reputation: 180
Most everyone has higher and lower values and feelings in them.

It's better to appeal to the good within a person so that the good part of a person will emerge.

I used to go for revenge. I did worse things than the original poster thinks about doing but I regret every vengeful thing I ever did. Now today everything is going wrong for me, more new bad news every day, lots of contraindicatory medical advice( I have lots more than one thing wrong with me and I have to hurt one vital part of me by using medicine or getting a procedure done- such as chemotherapy- to help another vital part (which might not be helped)......... I used to live for the revenge of telling some woman who rejected me off, and I posted about it after I did the revenge.

I lowered my soul and I threw away great days when I was healthy.

I would never seek revenge again and if I were healthy I'd walk away from rejection, walk away from revenge, walk away from lowered values and I'd go out and enjoy life instead of living with or creating bitterness, fear, hate, anger, frustration........... I wasted good healthy days by responding to rejection in pain, bitterness, anger instead of using my higher values and going out to enjoy life by taking long walks, eating good food, visiting good friends etc.

Last edited by SteakGuy; 02-24-2014 at 07:55 AM..
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Old 02-24-2014, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,495,521 times
Reputation: 40198
Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
Fair enough. My motive is revenge, I never said it wasn't. I do agree I am doing him a favor. I would want to be told if it were me. Wouldn't you want someone to tell you? I don't want to destroy his world. I do feel somewhat bad but shouldn't he know the truth? I would want someone to tell me, I know that for sure. Maybe he is different.

And I for sure want to stick it to her. Why should she get to stick it to me and not care about my pain but I must look like the good person and walk away? I don't care how I look. I feel bad for her husband, I do, but screw her.
Still so unwilling to take any personal responsibility for where you find yourself.

It's sad you are so willing to lower yourself this way.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:10 AM
 
9,006 posts, read 13,800,275 times
Reputation: 9646
I guess I'm the odd one.

I say tell the hubby and move on.

Another one is try to cheat with the hubby.

The last one is sleep with the boyfirend's friends.

Revenge for sure.

Make sure you show the husband proof.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:28 AM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,138,096 times
Reputation: 29347
Quote:
Originally Posted by meaning View Post
There is a natural phenomenon for revenge it is called KARMA. You might not be there to witness it, but we all know karma is a bi-tch.

I just rely on karma on all people who have wronged me. I may not be there to 'appreciate' it but I'm sure karma will come to them sooner or later. I am SURE of it.
Maybe the wrong done to you was karma biting you back? Hmmmm

Anyway, my general points are:

1) Everyone assumes this affair is fact based on the OP seeing a few texts. It wouldn't be the first time someone has misinterpreted texts or drawn faulty conclusions, especially if they are insecure in the first place. Before leaving him or telling the husband or any other sort of "revenge", the OP had best be 100% sure.

2) Everyone assumes the husband is the victim. Maybe so. Or maybe he is a philandering, abusive, and neglectful husband. And after years of misery, the wife is finally taking care of herself, getting her revenge, or looking for a lifeboat.

3) If the above are true, there is an affair and the husband is a good guy, then the best recourse would be to simply leave with no explanation at all.
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