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My boyfriend and I broke up. I spent some time with an ex boyfriend from a couple years ago. I was upset about my break up and called him and he took me out and we talked. He is telling me I do not have to be alone (I didn't have anyone for 2 years and I got really sick of it. Maybe I'm one of those women who can't be without a man, well obviously I can but I strongly prefer to be with one. Life is too short to be alone.) he is willing to get back in to a relationship with me.
I know I'm vulnerable. Just got cheated on (and no, for anyone reading my posts, I did not tell the husband of the girl involved.) and this ex was very flirty with women too. This adds up to me having trust issues which I will probably have with anyone but I will try not to take out what the last guy did to me on the next.
We have always loved each other. Well, I know I've always loved him. With him, I think it's more of a thinking thing, he knows I'm a good woman- at any given time I am the best one around him so he is always willing to stop dating and commit to me. I'm trying to be honest here and honest with myself. I want to focus on he knows I'm the best thing he's got , rather than the many women he flirts with. A flirt is not a cheater.
We have good chemistry, he is a hard worker, responsible and good to his family. He is a good listener , funny and patient. He is willing to marry me (in a couple years) and with our combined income and assets, we could have a secure future.
Besides that he does like to drink.
I know you guys can be harsh on here so I expect I will get all kinds of answers. That is ok. I just need someone to give me opinions. My best friend did not recommend we get back together. This is because he said I can't handle this man's flirting. I do get emotional about it. I know he wants me and has always wanted me and I am hoping that idea will help me keep my emotions under control. Thoughts?
He's not my only option and I'm really leaning towards all this "be an independent woman , be alone" stuff is BS. Been there , done that and it sucked.
Last edited by lastwomanstanding; 02-26-2014 at 07:44 AM..
Because I couldn't handle his flirting with other women. I had a hard time trusting him. I have a hard time trusting in general, so we fought too much. I know he hasn't changed, I'm being realistic. No one is perfect.
Yes you should definitely start a relationship with another guy who flirts with other women immediately after you just break up with the guy who has cheated on you. That makes perfect sense to a person with the EQ of an ant.
Work on your issue before allowing another person in your life. You are doing nobody a favor by knowingly having trust related problems that they will have to deal with.
It's not fair to anyone and you are asking them to put up with it as part of the package.
Once you are in the process of working yourself out the answers to "who should I have a relationship with" will answer themselves
LWS, after reading about your anger and resentment toward the guy who is cheating on you now, I would very strongly suggest going it without a boyfriend for a while.
It seems like you are setting yourself up for another unhealthy dynamic. Whether or not you like it, you've been hurt, and the new'old' guy is going to be the target of your feelings, even though being with someone new after you've been cheated on can make you feel good for a while, it won't fix whats wrong, and you'll end up not trusting anyone...still.
That position of being suspicious all the time is NOT a good place to start a relationship.
You have to learn to trust yourself and your strength, and your own abilities, if you are leaning on someone else to do it for you, you'll always be vulnurable, or feeling vulnerable...
Trust me, being without a partner isn't the end of the world, the character and strength you develope will help you to be a more loving and trusting partner yourself, instead of expecting the worst.
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