Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My girlfriend has a ton of stress in her life. Sometimes when she gets home she's in a down mood. I guess this question is directed at woman. What can your bf do to get you out of a bad mood? Sometimes no matter what I do even if I joke or act goofy she just isn't having it. I've asked her what's wrong? She goes nothing...then goes into how she has problems that nothing can be do e about. What do I do? Just listen?
Most of the time this happens she lays down and we cuddle but I can't sleep unless the problem is resolved but she gets upset when she's trying to get over it and ten I push for her to tell me.
Listening and maybe bring her flowers every now and then and help her with chores around the house. Don't get too stressed out about HER problems that seem to be unrelated to you. Because it will add more stress to her stress ..
I don't think there is a universal answer for that since every person is different.
Many women prefer to have someone empathize with their problem rather than solving it. If you suspect that your gf is one of these women, then all you can really do is show you're concerned. I've found that having something prepared when she gets home helps....food, bath, etc.
My wife prefers to be let alone for awhile until she is ready to talk.
My last SO before her was the total opposite and wanted people to engage her and pull the issues out.
It depends on the personality of the person as to what "should be done"
I'm all for just listening if you are not sure his to react to someone yet. Most people don want you to solve their issues. They just want to vent and feel loved
Letting her vent is good, but also let her have time and space to decompress. You might fix dinner while she takes a hot bath, or sits in a quiet place with a glass of wine and a new magazine.
When I am stressed I want peace and quiet and some me time.
First, unless she specifically says she needs your advice or help, she's just venting. When you try to solve HER problem, that possibly could annoy her so she says "nothing". OK, that's still a crap excuse to continue with her bad mood though. So if just listening to her doesn't help, she may have to figure out a way to leave that stuff at work and not dog pile on you when she gets home.
Her defeatist attitude needs to shift somehow...I only know what works for me though. I still talk to my husband about work but I know he'll get caught up if I do, so I discuss the important things with him and leave out the petty crap. Or if I do talk about the petty crap, I try to leave out the negativity and emotion from it.
When I get home, I grab a cat, get in my comfies and forget about work completely until it's time to do it again. If you want to make it last, it sounds like she has some figuring out to do. Just remember, you can't fix her problems and she doesn't need to use you to dump all her emotion onto. I mean, it's important to talk about, but if she's never consolable, then maybe this isn't the best match for you.
Usually, a joke or even a vanilla latte will snap me out of that "grrr" mood...if she doesn't respond when you're trying to be nice, then she really is the only one who can change that.
My girlfriend has a ton of stress in her life. Sometimes when she gets home she's in a down mood. I guess this question is directed at woman. What can your bf do to get you out of a bad mood? Sometimes no matter what I do even if I joke or act goofy she just isn't having it. I've asked her what's wrong? She goes nothing...then goes into how she has problems that nothing can be do e about. What do I do? Just listen?
Most of the time this happens she lays down and we cuddle but I can't sleep unless the problem is resolved but she gets upset when she's trying to get over it and ten I push for her to tell me.
Do I just listen and dont push for her?
When I've had a stressful day, I am aware of it and make sure to tell SO. He usually asks if there is anything he can do, and often I just want a hug, unless there is something I feel is worth discussing and getting his input.
The last thing I want is for him to try to humour or cajole me out of my mood, or be pushed to discuss it or have him try to fix it. So yes, you just listen. You ask her if there's anything you can do, and if not, you let it go.
I would say definitely do not pressure her. Just let her do her and when she is ready to talk make sure you are ready to listen. It seems like something is missing here though. Why would she not want to talk to you? Maybe you have not been such a good listener in the past.
If I'm dating a girl, I don't ask about her problems. If she wants to tell me she can, if not I'm just going to ignore it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
