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As for me, we`re just going on our 8th year of marriage. There are ups and downs ofcourse but we can still manage to be happy. Especially me, since I`m just naturally happy. We still have no kids until now, not into pills or any form of contraception. It`s just that we are both not sexually attracetd to each other. I just learned this word now A-Sexual relationship which is like the thoughts I have on platonic kind of love, and I adore it. I`m just confused, lately, I`ve been asking myself if I truly love my husband at all and not just as a best-friend. Am I really happy with my husband or I just try to overlook on something that needs to be thought of. My husband is very kind to me although he`s not perfect. He loves me so much until now. We were only sexually active when we just got married but it was like just in a month`s time. We can be a-sexual even up to 6 months or more if we just don`t obligate ourselves. Once a month is already kind of frequent for us. I admit, we just started as friends and I was never physically attracted to him. We ended getting married because I simply like him a lot emotionally and intellectually. I feel he`s like my baby. What is being in-love and what is liking . Do I over analyze. He was my first boyfriend at age 28, and I was going 30 when we got married. I know that he`s not trying his best to please me sexually but I don`t insist since it`s not a big deal for me actually in a sensual level but rationally yes. I never had any orgasmic experience at all, and it`s fine with me. Everything I did was to fulfill my obligation to him. I`m a one-man-woman, I`m faithful to him. We were both not bothered about it as to our low-libido, we have lots of kissing and hugging anyway. I don`t feel any arousal at all too when we are kissing no matter how long it takes. But lately I`ve been frequently asking myself since my friend told me that it`s not normal and I must seriously ponder on it. I`m just confused if I should be bothered about it at all. Do I have a sexual problem . Am I normal . Do I have to consult a sex therapist. At my age I believe I should be enjoying sex, I`m still young. He`s got pleasure and is still attracted to me, only that his libido is also low. I was never sexually abused when I was young. I`m certainly not a lesbian. I`m just afraid of being attracted to another man because our sex life is not satisfying. But even if I try it with other man, I`ll just end up guilty because I was just curios. Temptations are always around me. Some guys still court me even if they know I`m married. I still look like on my mid 20`s but never I played around. It`s just not me. I`m just afraid that I might be in-love with other guy and might mistaken that as a sexual curiosity. Oh my this kind of problem is supposed to be just for teen-agers I guess. At my age I should not be curious about sex anymore. I hope you guys got my point. Please do so give me some reply. I really really badly need answers. Sorry, my writing is kind of confusing too, it`s like I`m panicking! Additional info, we`ve been for a year already on seperate bedrooms, I don`t know we are just comfortable being alone. But we are certainly not fighting or on a bad terms. Absolutely we are being honest with each other even asking if we still truly love each other at all. My answer is yes we still love each other. The only big question now is HOW MUCH.
This sounds like something that requires third party intervention. I'm not big on marriage counselors, but you might benefit from a few sessions. It certainly couldn't hurt. Why the seperate bedrooms, why the change in his behavior towards you, and lastly, why all the pretty colors?
'---Quote (Originally by joolyet)---
As for me, we`re just going on our 8th year of marriage. There are ups and downs ofcourse but we can still manage to be happy. Especially me, since I`m just naturally happy. We still have no kids until now, not into pills or any form of contraception. It`s just that we are both not sexually attracetd to each other.'
REPLY: Im afraid to tell you that there is a dysfunction in your marriage if you are not both sexually attracted to each other ; sooner or later one of you are going to discover you are sexually attracted to ANOTHER person outside of your marriage , and your marriage will suffer for it. It is a very necessary ingredient to be sexually attracted to your spouse because regular sex affirms your love for one another, it deepens your emotional bond to one another, it is the most intimate sharing you could possibly do with another , and it helps keep your focus on your spouse instead of people outside your marriage. Its a very necessary ingredient in a marriage , and professional marriage counselling needs to be sought out to correct your situation before someone else comes along for you or your spouse to get entangled with . What are you going to do at this point ?
'---Quote (Originally by joolyet)---
As for me, we`re just going on our 8th year of marriage. There are ups and downs ofcourse but we can still manage to be happy. Especially me, since I`m just naturally happy. We still have no kids until now, not into pills or any form of contraception. It`s just that we are both not sexually attracetd to each other.'
REPLY: Im afraid to tell you that there is a dysfunction in your marriage if you are not both sexually attracted to each other ; sooner or later one of you are going to discover you are sexually attracted to ANOTHER person outside of your marriage , and your marriage will suffer for it. It is a very necessary ingredient to be sexually attracted to your spouse because regular sex affirms your love for one another, it deepens your emotional bond to one another, it is the most intimate sharing you could possibly do with another , and it helps keep your focus on your spouse instead of people outside your marriage. Its a very necessary ingredient in a marriage , and professional marriage counselling needs to be sought out to correct your situation before someone else comes along for you or your spouse to get entangled with . What are you going to do at this point ?
I'm a bit in the same situation, and I decided I didn't need counseling. Why?
- My s.o. rain or shine keeps being in love with me, that's the proff that somehow I do things right even if we seldom (about 3 times ...a year) have intimate relationships,
- On the other hand, of course I could be tempted by other women, there are scores of attractive females out there, but guess what : I don't attract them, and I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to woo them when I'm a loving partner at home, (a loving partner that doesn't really turn me on sexually, but it's so good to feel desired...)
I'm a bit in the same situation, and I decided I didn't need counseling. Why?
- My s.o. rain or shine keeps being in love with me, that's the proff that somehow I do things right even if we seldom (about 3 times ...a year) have intimate relationships,
- On the other hand, of course I could be tempted by other women, there are scores of attractive females out there, but guess what : I don't attract them, and I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to woo them when I'm a loving partner at home, (a loving partner that doesn't really turn me on sexually, but it's so good to feel desired...)
Well, i guess if its working out for you , then great ; I was just reiterating why the sexual relationship in marriage is important and its design. Regards.
if there is one thing an american woman cant stand its a perfect gentleman.
it is possible to have asexual relationships, very short ones.
when women are not having sex with a man, she is not in the drivers seat.
mama dont like that.
Why the hell would you want a relationship without sex? .....
So you can concentrate on getting to know the inner person who is the REAL person ... and not just using them for temporary genital satisfaction . The blending of one anothers Souls thru the act of sexual intercourse, is something that was designed for a complete lifelong commitment and to glue you together permanently ; and not a venue for passing along STD's and using another for the sake of an orgasm. Looking at the real meaning and purpose behind sexual intercourse as the Creator intended it, will bring a very mature outlook and deep respect toward the other person and yourself. Dont follow the out of control culture, but let God run your life, and, youll never have regrets.
Seems like a prerequisite for a relationship is an interest in sex. I have never been able to keep a girlfriend because eventually it ends in this subject and she becomes offended. I have no sex drive and never have, as for a relationship a friendship is fine, but when you befriend the opposite sex, others imply a sexual relationship. Does lack of interest in sex mean that you will live and die alone? I have always heard that most women hate sex, but have found that to be a lie.
Most women hate sex and think it's disgusting. So I think most women would like men who have no sex drive.
Seems like a prerequisite for a relationship is an interest in sex. I have never been able to keep a girlfriend because eventually it ends in this subject and she becomes offended. I have no sex drive and never have, as for a relationship a friendship is fine, but when you befriend the opposite sex, others imply a sexual relationship. Does lack of interest in sex mean that you will live and die alone? I have always heard that most women hate sex, but have found that to be a lie.
Not trying to be funny,OP...but maybe you're gay.
I noticed that you didn't broach the subject...but perhaps you are not sexually interested in women,
Nothing wrong w/ that...part of life.
Maybe you need to sit down and have an honest talk w/ a therapist of some type.
If you are NOT gay...then maybe you have some issues w/ sexuality.
Just a thought...
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. Do I over analyze. 
He was my first boyfriend at age 28, and I was going 30 when we got married. I know that he`s not trying his best to please me sexually but I don`t insist since it`s not a big deal for me actually in a sensual level but rationally yes. I never had any orgasmic experience at all, and it`s fine with me. Everything I did was to fulfill my obligation to him. I`m a one-man-woman, I`m faithful to him. We were both not bothered about it as to our low-libido, we have lots of kissing and hugging anyway. I don`t feel any arousal at all too when we are kissing no matter how long it takes. But lately I`ve been frequently asking myself since my friend told me that it`s not normal and I must seriously ponder on it. I`m just confused if I should be bothered about it at all. Do I have a sexual problem 
. Am I normal 
But even if I try it with other man, I`ll just end up guilty because I was just curios. Temptations are always around me. Some guys still court me even if they know I`m married. I still look like on my mid 20`s but never I played around. It`s just not me. I`m just afraid that I might be in-love with other guy and might mistaken that as a sexual curiosity. Oh my this kind of problem is supposed to be just for teen-agers I guess. At my age I should not be curious about sex anymore. I hope you guys got my point. Please do so give me some reply. I really really badly need answers.
It's not as bad as you make it!
