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Old 03-03-2014, 05:32 AM
 
Location: Nashua, NH
382 posts, read 336,772 times
Reputation: 124

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I messed up multiple times with my insecurities now she doesn't want to have sex as often as we were because of it. What do I do to change it?

 
Old 03-03-2014, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,931,772 times
Reputation: 16643
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ1987 View Post
I messed up multiple times with my insecurities now she doesn't want to have sex as often as we were because of it. What do I do to change it?
If you can't stop being insecure then just hide it.

It's one thing to be insecure every once in a while and another thing to be a pansy.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Nashua, NH
382 posts, read 336,772 times
Reputation: 124
Not so much a pansy....she's told me since she's had three kids it's hard for her to go.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 06:00 AM
 
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 678,780 times
Reputation: 673
I'd be asking her what these issues are exactly that she claims to have.

If she is just wanting to remain a virgin due to personal or religious reasons, then you will need to respect that or break up and move on.

It could be that she's not feeling ready yet. Again, then you need to respect or move on.

But she may have other reasons. It isn't uncommon for victims of rape to have issues about sexual intimacy. It actually takes some of them years and others never can come to grips with it. Again, you'll have to work with her on this or move on.

There could also be other physical reasons for her issues. You'll need to resect or move on

Bottom of the line. You can't force her to be intimate, but you can ask her to be honest about why.Tell her you're not understanding the problem and sincerely want to. DO NOT PRESSURE HER. If she isn't comfortable discussing this with you....... then again, respect it or move on. Good luck.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 06:40 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,217,748 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ1987 View Post
I messed up multiple times with my insecurities now she doesn't want to have sex as often as we were because of it. What do I do to change it?
You are unfortunately not making yourself clear. How did you mess up??..Your next post is about her...What is missing??
 
Old 03-03-2014, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,713 posts, read 87,123,005 times
Reputation: 131685
Exactly - how did you mess up, multiple times... ?
This is the problem, not your SO.
Your SO behavior is a RESULT of your action.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Nashua, NH
382 posts, read 336,772 times
Reputation: 124
Being weird getting down after sex. Sometimes she seemsike she's into it and sometimes she's not but she usually initiates it. She got turned off because her leg started to hurt when she was getting ready to climax.

She has a iud and sometimes she says it hurts after.

Anyways now she knows I get like that after and we had sex a lot everyday sometimes twice a day

It's turned into once a week but every other aspect of the relationship is awesome.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 08:28 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,243,097 times
Reputation: 62669
Are you trying to say you get depressed after sex?
You get weird because the sex has ended?

Cripes, be very clear exactly what you mean, some of us are old and don't speak in slang or text.
Whatever issues there are after sex could be yours alone.
For some women the IUD can and does hurt during or after sex, it is a foreign object placed in her body.
If you are saying you get depressed and weird after sax then maybe your getting weird and depressed issues are too much for her to handle.
When you are like this is could make her feel inadequate and that she cannot satisfy you so she is just not interested in dealing with that part of your relationship.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,713 posts, read 87,123,005 times
Reputation: 131685
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ1987 View Post
What do I do to change it?
To answer your question: work on YOUR behavior, because you are the problem.
 
Old 03-03-2014, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,168,171 times
Reputation: 22276
I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say.
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