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Thanks everyone for your response. It's just that when I talk to him, he sounds like the nicest man in the world. He has forgiven his wife from the affair and he is now helping out the wife's family with errands like taking the wife's grandfather to the hospital.
We did meet online but we have a lot of real life friends in common and they only have good things to say about him. But then he is good at keeping a happy facade (eg he chose to hide his wife's infidelity to protect her reputation and because he does not want a broken family) so I don't know what else he could be hiding.
I was very affected when I first found out his wife cheated on him because I felt like life was being unfair when bad things happen to good people. But now I don't lose sleep over his problems anymore like I used to.
What really defines an emotional affair? If one reads through our communication it's just normal conversation as friends do. We just enjoy talking to each other and have so much in common. He also helped me go through a rough period in my life last week when an ex's GF went psycho on me. My married guy friend had to call a common friend with my ex to help me.
Thanks everyone for your response. It's just that when I talk to him, he sounds like the nicest man in the world. He has forgiven his wife from the affair and he is now helping out the wife's family with errands like taking the wife's grandfather to the hospital.
We did meet online but we have a lot of real life friends in common and they only have good things to say about him. But then he is good at keeping a happy facade (eg he chose to hide his wife's infidelity to protect her reputation and because he does not want a broken family) so I don't know what else he could be hiding.
I was very affected when I first found out his wife cheated on him because I felt like life was being unfair when bad things happen to good people. But now I don't lose sleep over his problems anymore like I used to.
What really defines an emotional affair? If one reads through our communication it's just normal conversation as friends do. We just enjoy talking to each other and have so much in common. He also helped me go through a rough period in my life last week when an ex's GF went psycho on me. My married guy friend had to call a common friend with my ex to help me.
I have a guess about that. With all the talk and debate about opposite-sex friendships here, I think most can agree that a friendship in secret is not okay.
You do realize that any married man is "off limits" emotionally and physically, and he realizes that as a married man, you are "off limits" emotionally and physically no matter what the situation is... right?
If I was his wife, and he had a secret relationship with you, and I found out that the two of you were secretly friends, I would not be happy, and I would let you know that.
The difference with me is this... I would not have any type of affair.
Once when we were texting late, past 11 pm, this went on for hours. I asked him if his wife minds that he is on the phone at that time. He said she is right beside him in bed but she is busy with facebook. Later on I found out that during that time, the wife was busy with the boss (whom she had an affair with) on facebook that's why she was oblivious with her husband texting at that time. He said his wife would not mind us communicating if she met me already since she trusts him a lot and knows that he is not the type to cheat. There are women that flirt with him at work but his wife just shrugs it off (they used to work together). It seems like he does not have any plans of meeting up with me anymore since I turned him down twice. I guess he's keeping me around as his sounding board
I don't initiate contact with him and he communicates with me less now. I guess he will completely disappear once his marriage is fixed. It's very difficult for me to tell him straight to stop contacting me. I don't want him to think that I assume that he has an attraction for me when we are only friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
You do realize that any married man is "off limits" emotionally and physically, and he realizes that as a married man, you are "off limits" emotionally and physically no matter what the situation is... right?
If I was his wife, and he had a secret relationship with you, and I found out that the two of you were secretly friends, I would not be happy, and I would let you know that.
The difference with me is this... I would not have any type of affair.
This guy really confuses me because he really makes me feel that we are nothing more but friends.
Last edited by cosmic_girl; 03-30-2014 at 11:54 AM..
My question I would ask is why he is/was waiting to confront his wife?
If I discovered my wife cheating, you can best believe I'm going to be confronting her about it immediately!
He wanted the advise of a professional on how to deal with the problem. He was supposed to wait until after counselling to confront the wife, but it was scheduled almost 2 weeks after he found out about the affair. But he was not able to wait that long and confronted the wife 4 days after (He found out Monday and confronted on Friday).
They went to counselling together and the counsellor said he was the first cheated person not to exhibit any sign of anger The wife and boss sit next to each other at work and neither resigned. I hope the affair really ended or that it will not happen again. I feel bad for my friend, he really worships the ground his wife walks on.
Just let him spend the night already so he can get his rewards and leave you alone.
There is so many out of line and straight up disrespectful things being shared back and forth...tell him to handle his martial issues with the person they concern.
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With all the talk and debate about opposite-sex friendships here, I think most can agree that a friendship in secret is not okay.
