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You've been thru some HUGE changes recently. You just moved. You just started a new job. Don't be so hard on yourself. And you are right, skills improve with practice. Have you thought about trying some meetup groups?
I don't have much faith in meetup groups for dating.
The whole process of getting to know each other and meeting up regularly and eventually being in a relationship with one of the members seem very unlikely to me.
I don't have much faith in meetup groups for dating.
The whole process of getting to know each other and meeting up regularly and eventually being in a relationship with one of the members seem very unlikely to me.
I was thinking it might be a way for you to meet some new people since you just moved. I've heard that some groups like the going out to dinner ones can be pretty fun. Eventually some people will get to know you and might know someone they might want to introduce you to. Just a thought is all. Perhaps you have tried enough of them and they haven't panned out for you.
I was thinking it might be a way for you to meet some new people since you just moved. I've heard that some groups like the going out to dinner ones can be pretty fun. Eventually some people will get to know you and might know someone they might want to introduce you to. Just a thought is all. Perhaps you have tried enough of them and they haven't panned out for you.
Yeah I think I see where you are coming from.
In my opinion, they could work if I was good at picking up girls. But I'm not.
On that note, I need to figure out where to find dates hah
Well ok I asked a girl from work if she wants to go to a bar on the weekend, she said not interested cause bars are loud and stuff.
Other time, I asked another girl if she wants to go have lunch together and she said she will just have lunch at her desk.
Those things are nothing serious but that's what I meant by things not working out the first time.
It's unreasonable to expect the first or second girl you ask to accept your offer. The guys who are successful at it ask 10 women a week and may get one date. It's not that you're doing anything wrong, or that there's some secret. You just have to keep at it. Someone here who was a salesman said it's just like going door-to-door; you blitz a neighborhood and may get 10 sales. The next neighborhood, you get another 10 or 12. That's already 20 more sales than the guy who didn't even try, or who got discouraged after the first few no-thank-you's, and quit. You should expect to get turned down a lot of the time, and let it roll off your back. People are looking for a certain type: men have a certain type or a couple of types in mind, so do women. So you just didn't happen to be those girls' type. Keep looking.
And get out and mingle. As someone said, join a sports league, a hobby group, an activity club. Put yourself out there, where you can meet more women.
How do you know the women at work didn't turn you down because they have a policy about not dating men from the workplace? It might not have anything to do with you at all. For that matter, why are you asking out women you work with? You should be active out in your community and meet women that way.
OP you have to work on that self-esteem, nobody can do that but you. You can't walk into any situation already thinking you are going to fail. When you approached these two young ladies at your work place, your body language and demeanor probably had failure written all over it making it real easy to turn you down. You have to believe in yourself man, if you don't believe in yourself, its a little hard trying to convince other people to do that. Stop the negativity about yourself and start feeling good about yourself, I'm sure there are many good things about you. You can either decide to work on your own happiness or just accept the status quo. You are still very young and you should be enjoying your youth. Best of luck.
I'm a 23 yo college graduate. Moved to a new city for work and been here for 2 months now.
I've been telling myself I might try dating after I get a job. But now that I'm working, I don't feel any incentive to date.
I never dated in my life and I didn't have success when I tried in the past, years ago.
I'm not angry or anything at this point. Just indifferent when it comes to dating.
I know I will be single for the rest of my life if I don't do anything.
But I just feel demoralized whenever I try to initiate something because things never work out the first time. (Although I know I could do better if I keep up with it, like every other skills in life)
The effort needed to make things work kind of kills it for me.
I was wondering if anyone could say something that might shed light on my current situation.
That's all
Why worry about this? Sounds like you're trying to force yourself to feel the urge to date when you don't want to just so you won't be alone. There's no reason to, what's even worse is that the women you meet can sense it hurting your chances. When you feel that urge and excitement of meeting someone new, that's when you should start dating. Until then don't worry about it.
I was the same way in my 20's, just enjoy it and know that when you get closer to 30 both men and women start to increasingly think about settling down so you may not be alone forever
OK .. what else do you like to do besides work? Any kinds of sports that might have some coed teams?
I like going to karaoke and playing point&click adventure games, and also going to a bar with colleagues. There are many opportunities for coed sports teams, but I honestly can't see myself finding a date in a coed sports team.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antics32
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In the past, I used to read a lot of stuff like that, including that book. Well, it's always easier said than done. I didn't have the heart to go through all the rejections and stuff especially back then.
And other people who replied after Antics, thanks for the suggestions, I'm sure it's all good intentions. But I don't agree with the feedback because that's not where I'm coming from.
I know I could probably find a date if I try hard for a long time. I just don't want to go through all the frustration that I might face along the way.
I don't have much faith in meetup groups for dating.
The whole process of getting to know each other and meeting up regularly and eventually being in a relationship with one of the members seem very unlikely to me.
Something that is regularly overlooked is people you meet know other people. You never know that who you meet might knows someone who'd be a good match for you. After my husband and I split up, I had friends, neighbours and customers who had friends, relatives and co-workers that would be a good match for me. I'm marrying a friend's cousin in a few months.
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