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I think a big problem on this forum, and the world in general, is there is a huge divide between life experiences of persons, yet everybody feels everybody's experience is the same.
For instance, I'll read a post from a male telling another male to stop whining and then in another thread he's mentioned that dozens of attractive women have approached him or how many one night stands he's had. Or guys are asking for sympathy from particular women who have been showered from male attention their whole lives (who ironically are usually the ones least apt to give it).
I think it's good to give varying perspectives and get varying perspectives in life. Not sure if that was the OPs intention. Anyway, I have known about this kind of thing forever, if only because I was in that group.
As far as love, it comes really easy to some people and it's hard for others. Some get it in buckets full while others get it in drips People just assume those that struggle with dating don't try or are socially retarded and it's not always or even usually true. I think you just have to try your best and see what happens.
I think a big problem is the advent of the internet and forums like this one, where people spend more time over-analyzing, complaining and attention-whoring for their problems instead of just going out and doing and learning through trial and error.
Prior to the internet, a young man could gain wisdom from his father, brother, uncle, and friends would support, encourage, tease and shame him into asking the girl out. Now the world is full of folks hiding behind the safety of their computers and cell phones, substituting reality for the experiences of others in crappy blogs, PUA and other online garbage. Far too much thinking and not enough doing going on.
At the end of the day, you are the sum of all your experiences in life, not other people's experiences. People who want things out of life go after them, not sit around whining and expecting those things to come to them. You should have learned by the age of 5 that life is neither fair nor easy. How much more time are you (generically speaking) going to waste being paralyzed by your thoughts and inactions?
What I would tell them is not everyone will find love. Not everyone gets a happy ending.
Isn't that like telling a duck it has a beak... Mod cut: language. they're complaining because they've only had bad endings.
A majority of the posts above in this thread assume that none of the guys who have problems with women have ever tried getting one...
How would they know they have problems unless they have already thoroughly tried their luck on the market and found vastly repeated failure as a result?
Hmmm... Am I the only one seeing a trend here: glasses, receding hairlines, etc.? Are the ladies out there that shallow???
Apparently. Or selective, like most men, if you use the non-pejorative term.
Like I said in the other thread ...
They aren't stereotypically attractive, so they won't have so-called assertive women coming up to them, and if they are shy it will take a WHILE for them to show a woman the good parts of their personalities.
All (including the women I saw on YouTube) seem like nice people.
They probably would treat their mates and families with a lot of loving, consideration, kindness, respect but perhaps deep down inside, a lot of people want Type A's who would step on others but treat their mates and families with loving, consideration, kindness, respect..........That recipe will work well UNTIL the first argument takes place.
They look like average people to me, though I haven't watched any of the videos.
I don't know why someone would make a thread on this though, women aren't going to give these guys sympathy, they'll just tell them to suck it up and deal with it. Most of those women have probably had good success in the dating world though.
They look like average people to me, though I haven't watched any of the videos.
I don't know why someone would make a thread on this though, women aren't going to give these guys sympathy, they'll just tell them to suck it up and deal with it. Most of those women have probably had good success in the dating world though.
It seems like these men and woman are all in some kind of organization together (or there is some kind of organization made the videos about all of them). I wonder if they could make some kind of dating group where the men in this situation date the women in this situation. Nothing serious... they could just date, get practice and maybe help each other work around what they are calling relationship shyness. Like an interactive support group. And who knows, maybe some of them will meet someone else this way. Seems more productive than passively hoping someone will help them (I just don't see there being enough sympathy for people to rally behind this... like you said, most people will tell them to "suck it up").
I only watched the last one. Wow, talk about wallowing in self-pity! He's only a grad student! And he admits he self-isolates; he doesn't even have any guy friends. So whose fault is that? He's not a bad-looking guy, and he seems nice, he should ask out some of his fellow grad students, and/or some undergrads. I bet he's never even tried. If he has trouble with shyness or social anxiety, he should see a counselor in his university's counseling center.
A guy like that is not only denying himself companionship, he's denying women the pleasure of his company. He should move his rear and get counseling to address his tendency to isolate, and whatever issues accompany that (self-esteem, most likely). The incel "club" isn't doing him any favors. All it's doing is giving him a platform from which to launch a pity party.
I think a big problem is the advent of the internet and forums like this one, where people spend more time over-analyzing, complaining and attention-whoring for their problems instead of just going out and doing and learning through trial and error.
Prior to the internet, a young man could gain wisdom from his father, brother, uncle, and friends would support, encourage, tease and shame him into asking the girl out. Now the world is full of folks hiding behind the safety of their computers and cell phones, substituting reality for the experiences of others in crappy blogs, PUA and other online garbage. Far too much thinking and not enough doing going on.
At the end of the day, you are the sum of all your experiences in life, not other people's experiences. People who want things out of life go after them, not sit around whining and expecting those things to come to them. You should have learned by the age of 5 that life is neither fair nor easy. How much more time are you (generically speaking) going to waste being paralyzed by your thoughts and inactions?
And you wonder why people would rather use technology? That sounds horrible, why would anyone want to be around someone who teases and shames them? Especially someone who supposed to care about you?
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Am I the only one seeing a trend here: glasses, receding hairlines, etc.? Are the ladies out there that shallow???
