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Old 03-13-2014, 10:42 PM
 
1,745 posts, read 987,483 times
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also, when i see a profile that says "doesn't have kids and doesn't want kids", well i have a kid, so i know that that would count me out! is he also closed to women who already have a kid? if so, that's fine, be honest. but he is limiting his choices, that's all.
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:58 AM
 
867 posts, read 776,430 times
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Thanks for all the feedback. I will fix the whole thing but the part that I'm going to cut out is the books/movies/food section. I will get better pics. As for children, how do I word this...I don't want children of my own. I love my nephews with all my heart and I'm heavily involved in their lives so I would date a women with children...just not anymore children with me. To be honest, I've never dated a woman with children so I really, honestly don't know what this entails. But, but, but thinking about it I would only want to meet the children after we knew we were headed towards marriage; I wouldn't want to be present and then the relationship goes south and then not be present I think that is damaging for children.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:10 PM
 
1,745 posts, read 987,483 times
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waiting to meet the kid(s) until you are planning to marry? you may reconsider if you do get involved with someone with a kid(s). there is no way that i would wait that long to introduce my kid to a boyfriend. i believe they should be able to get to know each other and form a relationship before there was any talk of marriage. of course i don't mean introduce them after the second date! but definitely if the relationship has gotten exclusive and things are going well we would be doing things together, etc. that is how i have done it with my son and the past couple of serious boyfriends that i have had. i am single right now and my son is not traumatized by the fact that i am no longer with those boyfriends.

anyway, that may never happen for you so that could be a moot point for you! good luck with the profile and the whole dating online stuff.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:18 PM
 
2,198 posts, read 1,716,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artifice32 View Post
Thanks for all the feedback. I will fix the whole thing but the part that I'm going to cut out is the books/movies/food section. I will get better pics. As for children, how do I word this...I don't want children of my own. I love my nephews with all my heart and I'm heavily involved in their lives so I would date a women with children...just not anymore children with me. To be honest, I've never dated a woman with children so I really, honestly don't know what this entails. But, but, but thinking about it I would only want to meet the children after we knew we were headed towards marriage; I wouldn't want to be present and then the relationship goes south and then not be present I think that is damaging for children.
Just skip the part about children. No need to put your poems and songs up, it's not a resume. You need to add a little humor, personally if I don't see at least a trace of humor in someone's profile I pay it no mind. But as someone else said there's not enough substance in your profile.

Also instead of saying what you're not looking for, say what you are looking for.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,819 posts, read 9,176,458 times
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Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
Delete your poem, good lord. In your books/music choice, you come off as a complete douche. Either delete the entire paragraph altogether or reword it. Why do you have so many condescending things in there? Man, if this were a girl's profile I'd completely ignore it regardless of how hot she was.

Once again, I realize why I have such an easy time online.
Random question, how important is the books/music choice? Some of these seem superficial, unless I'm supposed to draw an inference about someone based on their choice of reading material. It never really occurred to me that anyone would care what I'm reading, or that it would be worthwhile mentioning on a dating profile.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:54 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
86,415 posts, read 79,553,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Random question, how important is the books/music choice? Some of these seem superficial, unless I'm supposed to draw an inference about someone based on their choice of reading material. It never really occurred to me that anyone would care what I'm reading, or that it would be worthwhile mentioning on a dating profile.
Exactly. I don't think it's important. He may as well leave that the way it is.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
24,447 posts, read 26,346,185 times
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Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Random question, how important is the books/music choice? Some of these seem superficial, unless I'm supposed to draw an inference about someone based on their choice of reading material. It never really occurred to me that anyone would care what I'm reading, or that it would be worthwhile mentioning on a dating profile.
In the OP's case, I don't know that it's his specific choices that are the problem, it's that his tone in describing them is offputting. Saying that he'll read only these kinds of books or watch films from only this director comes across as difficult, inflexible, and maybe even lacking in curiosity. It's the aura; as someone who likes books and movies in general I'd find that unattractive.
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
In the OP's case, I don't know that it's his specific choices that are the problem, it's that his tone in describing them is offputting. Saying that he'll read only these kinds of books or watch films from only this director comes across as difficult, inflexible, and maybe even lacking in curiosity. It's the aura; as someone who likes books and movies in general I'd find that unattractive.
I am inflexible when it comes to books and movies I spent most of my youth reading the classics of literature, theology and philosophy i.e. the Decameron (which is the original Canterbury Tales) Homer, The Bhagavad Gita, The Upanishads, The Buddhist Sutras, Plato, Socrates, Hegel, Kant, Dickens, Lowe, Elliot, Cather, Woolf...I've read it all.

This is the part of me that I hide from others. I genuinely hide it, so I know I have to hide it in my profile which makes me sad.

The same goes for movies. When I watch a movie it's not fun. I just see a bunch of imposition of values, a bunch of rhetoric. Paul Thomas Anderson is the only writer/director who makes literature on film.

But I must hide this...I know...this makes me sad but, but, but I'll hide it.
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:34 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
86,415 posts, read 79,553,397 times
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Originally Posted by Artifice32 View Post
I am inflexible when it comes to books and movies I spent most of my youth reading the classics of literature, theology and philosophy i.e. the Decameron (which is the original Canterbury Tales) Homer, The Bhagavad Gita, The Upanishads, The Buddhist Sutras, Plato, Socrates, Hegel, Kant, Dickens, Lowe, Elliot, Cather, Woolf...I've read it all.
That's a heck of a lot of reading, and some of the sutras aren't easy reading at all. I'm guessing you didn't read all of them, just some. In any case, if your reading of classical literature includes eastern lit., I'd mention it. It makes your reading interests sound more diverse.
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
24,447 posts, read 26,346,185 times
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Originally Posted by Artifice32 View Post

But I must hide this...I know...this makes me sad but, but, but I'll hide it.
But you don't have to hide it. That's what was meant up-thread by saying that your profile should be inclusive, not exclusive. You can mention your interests without sounding like a snob.
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