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I'm in a difficult position b/c the salary I earn is substantially high...very high. Unfortunately, there aren't many men (outside of my field) who earn more than me. It's just a fact.
That being said, I'd ideally always like my husband to earn more than me, but I know this will not happen(... this has more to do with my desire to eventually work part time and spend more time at home with the kids). .
I'd be happy with a man who earns, at the very least, $50k-$75k/yr.
Haven't you seen in a different thread the sobering stats from the OKC blog which showed in living color the drought of interest experienced by low-iincome men over 23? And the idea that those guys should go die in a fire?
These bold colors contain a subtle message: if you're a young guy and don't make much money, cool. If you're 23 or older and don't make much money, go die in a fire.
your average 20-something woman won't have the luxury of knowing what her SO's mid-career income will be (if we assume she and the dude are similar ages). most people aren't thinking about settling down for the first time in their 30s and 40s....
to answer the question i consider us a partnership. it doesn't matter who contributes what as long as we are both happy and our basic needs are met. as a unit we'd need maybe $50-$70k a year to get by? I'm not totally sure since we make more than that now. obviously there are expenses we could cut out and i have no idea how that number will change when we have kids.
i would be annoyed if i were working my ass off to make ends meet for us and he wasn't even trying but that goes for any aspect of the relationship. similarly if i could support our family on my income and he wasn't happy with his job i would encourage him to consider staying at home instead. our time is much more valuable to me than extra cash.
Apparently you're not aware of the trend of women marrying down in financial status. I certainly did, and was the primary breadwinner by far in my marriage. Too bad he felt that entitled him to life as a perpetual student.
The fact that more women are becoming primary breadwinners makes it a bit harder for men to attract women to get married/settle down with. When it's just dating or sex, financial status doesn't matter as much, but for serious relationships money matters. There is probably a correlation of the increase of women's income with the increased age of getting married, because more women prefer the man to make just as much if not more than her. Eventually a woman will have to settle for a guy making less than her because there just aren't enough men out there who has the income.
There's a few guys at my work who are married to women who make more than them, and a few of the wives want the guys to leave my company to actually get a career and earn more money. Not all, but some.
When the income disparity is so great, I do think resentment builds up and the wives might start second guessing the choice of husband they chose.
Why would a woman with her own money go out less often once she started dating someone who was making a lower salary than her? Does it reduce her income too?
I'll give you one example I can think of right now. My friend was dating a girl who was making twice as much as he did. She always wanted to go on vacations because she had the money too. Him on the other hand did not have the disposable income to go as often. She also preferred to dine out more often but he just did not have the finances to keep up with her lifestyle. They eventually broke up but one of the reasons was money.
Unless the girl doesn't mind paying the majority of the time and the guy is okay with that, yeah it can work.
This thread dispels the exact reason why so many American men are fed up with American women. Women got their total equal rights and in many areas have far surpassed men with golden opportunities abundant. Yet, they still have their little list of minimal requirements the man must meet before considering a life with him. It's the ole cake and eating it too scenario.
It's why many men use you for sex, use you for a short fun fling and then marry a foreign woman later on down the road who still hold some form of traditional values.
I'm not being overly critical of women, but this is the playing field you've all created. And at the end of the day, to a man, American women are not any prettier, not any sexier, in fact usually the opposite, yet they stand with demand after demand after demand.
Any woman who comes along "feeling" out my financials, gets a few rounds of sex, (assuming I find her physically attracted) and then she gets left for the next sucker. Been there, done that and I refuse to date any woman after money. No thanks!
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These bold colors contain a subtle message: if you're a young guy and don't make much money, cool. If you're 23 or older and don't make much money, go die in a fire.
