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Old 12-06-2007, 11:56 AM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,656,959 times
Reputation: 3459

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KevK View Post
...and how much she misses her brother and dad who are both in prison!
oh, and then there's the well-meaning people who keep trying to set their single friends up on blind dates:

"yeah and this person's available now and wants to meet someone new now that their ex is in prison"
(facial expression registers some alarm)
"it's OK their ex won't be out for a long time they got sentenced for like 12 years"
(not reassuring)
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:00 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,403 posts, read 9,252,943 times
Reputation: 5613
I don't know if this can be counted in the same regime of red flags... because it's before the date even happens, but here recently this is something I have encountered..

choosing NOT to go out on a date for the night, when it's last minute.
I'm all for spontenaity... (sp?) but, if it's repeated, late night call, once a week, on a friday night, i get the feeling that it's last minute and more of a booty call, or falling under the "well I couldn't think of anything else better to do (or anyone else to hang out with, my other plans canceled on me) so you wanna do something?" kinda thing.. does that make sense?

Once is work-aroundable... but when he sets the pattern every week for 3 weeks straight... who wants to be nothing more than a late-night pickup?
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 5,520,399 times
Reputation: 2915
No one Fiddlekitten and by canceling the date if nothing more you at least got the point of respect across to him, good for you!
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:24 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,403 posts, read 9,252,943 times
Reputation: 5613
Yeah.. I didn't fall for it last weekend. Whether that was what he was doing subconsciously or not, I wasn't going to let him do it.

I was nice enough, like.. "oh gee, it's almost 10pm already, I'm kinda in the middle of something for the evening... maybe if you had given me better waring..." *shrug* and left it at that. I wasn't in the middle of anything, and would have loved to see him again... but not under those terms, and worried that it was indeed setting a pattern. We shall see....

So meanwhile, I will categorize this as a red flag. If it looks like you're their permenant "back up plan" you probably ARE, test the waters, by all means ~ but don't make it a habit. Don't fall for it.

Last edited by Marylandkitten; 12-06-2007 at 12:47 PM..
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Back in NYS
2,489 posts, read 5,448,156 times
Reputation: 2062
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiamondD View Post
Dare I ask what line of work this person and his secretary were in?
You know, I don't even remember any more - it was a loooong time ago...For some reason I want to say banking, but I'm really not sure.....I think he should have been an underwear salesman......
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:45 PM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,656,959 times
Reputation: 3459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
So meanwhile, I will categorize this as a red flag. If it looks like you're their permenant "back up plan", test the waters, by all means ~ but don't make it a habit. Don't fall for it.
Good post, good point...When I ran into this I put up with it, and IT NEVER CHANGED. Over 18 months into the relationship it still was going on and still bugging me. I figured once we got more serious, it'd change, or once I "explained" to him that it was a sign of respect to give me some notice, it'd change...and it never changed. Nice guy too, we had a great time when we were together, but it kept on bugging me that I felt like either the "back-up plan" or "nothing better to do so..."
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Mott Haven
2,978 posts, read 992,797 times
Reputation: 209
Redflags for me are:

1-she brings her 5 kids along on the first date
2-always making sure everyone knows she is "keepin' it real"
3-any sort of constant twitching or limping
4-discomfort or blatant aggression towards the cross, or an unusual fear of holy water
5-broad shoulders, large hands, and an adams apple
6-picking her nose in public (eating whatever comes out does not help)
7-begging to borrow money on the first date
8-always sad/depressed/angry because of a secret "problem" she has
9-any kind of fascination/recurring interest in bowel movements
10-Every story starts with "I wish I were dead" and ends with "and that's why I hate men."
11-facial scars, prison stories, or any reference to a "pimp."
12-not being 100% devoted and obsessed with me.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 5,520,399 times
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5-broad shoulders, large hands, and an adams apple

LMAO, good one! or they say sure i'll go out with you but you have to go see The Crying Game first right...
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Old 12-06-2007, 01:13 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,403 posts, read 9,252,943 times
Reputation: 5613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcm58 View Post
5-broad shoulders, large hands, and an adams apple
LMAO, good one!
Be nice now boys... there's a very lovely lady in the Fashion and Beauty forum that started her own thread, on being worrysome over her man-sized hands. Not everyone is perfect, I hope she doesn't see this laundry list! lol
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Old 12-06-2007, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Mott Haven
2,978 posts, read 992,797 times
Reputation: 209
Lol...yes its true fiddlekitten..I am not trying to give anyone a complex..but if you have broad shoulders, large hands, AND an adams apple...that is most definitely a BIG red flag for me!!!
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