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Why not just lay it all out there and ask her what she is comfortable offering to you? Then you can decide if it's enough.
I don't think you're being needy at all. But I think she is like a broken oven- hot sometimes and cold others. After five months you have every right to find out where you stand with her.
I told her how I felt many times. For few month I didn't even say anything about it. For her it was so natural not communicating with me as much or not hearing from her. She has so much times to make an effort which she does for a while when I told her how I feel then she stops again. At the same time she needs continous affection and attention otherwise she gets pissed off. Then last week I was in Europe from Saturday through Saturday. Sunday when I arrived in Europe she showered me with texts then after that I got 1 in the morning until Thursday, then Friday I don't hear from her at all. My friends text me even more wanting to know how I was doing all bymyself in Europe. Saturday like nothing happened, acting like I just talked to her texting me saying what time she will be at airport and missed me??? Then another scenario: My car broke down at my work parking lot 2 days before I went to Europe. We talked on the phone at noon that day telling her about my car. She asked me if I have a ride after work because my car was towed to the shop to be fixed. I told her don't worry I have a ride and my car should be done after work. I never heard from her until the next day. She never texted me (not even asking a ph call) to find out if everything went well with my car until the next day. This is not about being needy this is about natural gestures. And the funny thing is she told me too that I was needy but if I stop one minute to give her affection then she gives me the silent treatment. She is just starting to ask questions about me (about my day or what I did today etc etc) after I told her that. If I didn't tell her how I feel it still would have been like this: Monday through Friday 1 or 2 texts about I miss you or other flirty stuff in the morning and just disapear, stay at her place from Saturday through Monday while she is telling me I am the one, how much she loves me and miss me when we are apart bla bla bla.
Virgos are notorious for self-indulgence, and holding out all hope for "the next best thing". They are very avert to committing to a relationship wholeheartedly, in case "something better" comes along. At least that's what I read in a relationship zodiac book when brushing up on virgos. They are visually stimulated (which might explain why the phone calls mean so little to her) and they are like a puzzle to figure out what they really want since they themselves rarely are certain of it themselves. Their poor communication skills will have you ripping out your hair in tufts pretty soon.
*disclaimer - I am just repeating stuff I have read and observed - if you're a virgo and the above doesn't describe you, feel free to let me know but please don't rip into me!
This texting and calling issue has been going on for a while. I am not needy but I never meet someone who tells me I miss you and hardly get a phone call or a text or not acting on it. I asked her if she can communicate with me more. Now that I asked her what bothers me she is calling me but why do I have to tell this to a 47 years old woman? I initiate to see her at her work which is 40 minutes away, go to her place and suprise her with little gifts or notes. I know she is not cheating I am just wondering if she is interested or playing games.
The answer is simple. Ignore everything she says and pay attention only to her actions. Sounds to me like she enjoys keeping you hanging.
Oh, and why do you keep responding to her text messages? Stop it...
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Don't mean to make a generalization...so don't take offense...
From the lesbian relationships I've witnessed to over the years...they are heavy on the texting and talking about nothing much more than their relationship.
If you don't have anything else that you have in common other than the relationship itself, I don't understand the point of the relationship.
The most successful gay relationships I've seen are the one's that had joint passionate interests...like running, or extreme sports, or domestic arts, architecture, or travel.
The fact that she doesn't call or text you as often as you would like? Dear, she finds you dull.
Don't mean to make a generalization...so don't take offense...
From the lesbian relationships I've witnessed to over the years...they are heavy on the texting and talking about nothing much more than their relationship.
If you don't have anything else that you have in common other than the relationship itself, I don't understand the point of the relationship.
The most successful gay relationships I've seen are the one's that had joint passionate interests...like running, or extreme sports, or domestic arts, architecture, or travel.
The fact that she doesn't call or text you as often as you would like? Dear, she finds you dull.
You might be right and that is why I packed my things from her place and ended because she could have told me that. Anyway, I am the one that likes to do things. She just likes to stay home and watch tv which I don't have a problem with but sometimes it's ok to do other things. I even asked her to come to Europe with me. She didn't have the money. I even asked her to go to our friends 40th birthday party and so on... so if I am dull what is she?
She is an unhealthy choice for you. Try to find someone who is less self centered. I know it's hard to meet people but I have quite a few friends who are in lesbian relationships that are much more reciprocal. I hope you can find that.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,527,196 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katalin
You might be right and that is why I packed my things from her place and ended because she could have told me that. Anyway, I am the one that likes to do things. She just likes to stay home and watch tv which I don't have a problem with but sometimes it's ok to do other things. I even asked her to come to Europe with me. She didn't have the money. I even asked her to go to our friends 40th birthday party and so on... so if I am dull what is she?
And I apologize about that...I came back to your thread after thinking that if she didn't give you enough phone time to even plan anything than that would make her the dull one. So I apologize, big time. She's definitely got that wall of the superficial...doesn't want to give much, but expects the moon when "she" wants it.
Best of luck to you. Maybe finding someone outside your current circle could yield an enriched relationship for you.
I am a woman and have been dating with this woman for almost 5 months. She is a very kind woman but there are a few things that are strange to me. At first we communicated by text more than now then of course it slowed down. Hardly calls me, she said that she is not a phone person (but she talks to her friends). I see her on the weekends and sometimes on Wednesdays. She already gave me her keys for her place about 2 month ago. When we are together she really shows me that we are a couple but once we are apart she text me once or twice in the morning and I don't hear from her until next morning or there are a few times when she doesn't call.
Am I right to assume you're having a sexual relationship? Does it seem that this is what the relationship is about?
From what you're saying, this is what I get from it.. the house key, letting you know when you're together that you are a couple.
I don't think you deserve this. To me, it sounds like she wants to be friends with benefits more so then a couple.
I'd have to take a break for at least a week or two. No contact. No texting, no phone calls. Give her the key back After the time frame, you both sit down and talk about things. Ask her to be honest, is it the sex? Tell her you need more at this point in your life; you sound like you do.
I think I would be confused also. She's sending mixed signals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me
Virgos are notorious for self-indulgence, and holding out all hope for "the next best thing". They are very avert to committing to a relationship wholeheartedly, in case "something better" comes along. At least that's what I read in a relationship zodiac book when brushing up on virgos. They are visually stimulated (which might explain why the phone calls mean so little to her) and they are like a puzzle to figure out what they really want since they themselves rarely are certain of it themselves. Their poor communication skills will have you ripping out your hair in tufts pretty soon.
*disclaimer - I am just repeating stuff I have read and observed - if you're a virgo and the above doesn't describe you, feel free to let me know but please don't rip into me!
I know a male Virgo.. very into himself.. it's always about him.. needing / wanting help, very unthankful when someone does something for him. He feels like he is "owed" everything which is why he doesn't thank anyone when they do something for him. Very unappreciative. I only know one Virgo so have nothing to compare it to.
I do feel that with all signs, the male & famale's are different usually. I'm a Pisces and know male Pisces that are the complete opposite of me, but they are all the same. I know one female Pisces that is different & more like the male version but her Bday is at the beginning of it.
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