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Old 03-24-2014, 10:09 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,450,158 times
Reputation: 9548

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Just ask the guy
Holy Crap.

The longer you play games and phone tag the less likely he is to be forthcoming.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:10 AM
 
718 posts, read 599,157 times
Reputation: 1152
Then move is a$$ out. You seem like a nice person timberowl, you deserve better then what he's given you. And he's given you a load of crap with a side of bullsh*t. Move on or he's going to bring you down further.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:11 AM
 
Location: cali
231 posts, read 264,517 times
Reputation: 282
I'm sorry to say this but something is up!

I say that because the girl calling told you:" i hope you are happy!"

Why does a repeated drunk dialer at 3AM is hoping you are happy in your relationship with your boyfriend?
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:15 AM
 
26 posts, read 148,761 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooplaman View Post
Really you think telling him he is on watch is going to change anything? If a woman told me this I would be annoyed enough to start thinking of a way out.

I have to admit, if someone told me I was "on watch" I'd probably laugh at them. And give them something to watch.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:17 AM
 
26 posts, read 148,761 times
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You're right, rego . I've drug it out too far. I just wanted to make sure i wasn't crazy for even wondering who it was in teh first place. I should just casually ask.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:18 AM
 
Location: In my mind (scary)
155 posts, read 189,337 times
Reputation: 253
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberowl View Post
True but why would *she* lie? I was a little worried that the "I hope your happy" comment was her being upset at finding out that he had a girlfriend. I was biting my lip about it all day, and wanted to hear it from her. But knowing that, as has been said multiple times already, if I were to contact her again the following day I'd be crossing a line I couldn't uncross, to the point where I would have explaining to do as well.

I sincerely doubt he'd ever cheat on me, but he is extremely good looking, charismatic and a huge flirt, and it wouldn't be the first time I've caught him "forgetting to mention" the fact that he had a girlfriend. Which bothered me a lot, even if I don't doubt his loyalty.

Now, I suppose that she truly meant that she hoped I was happy in the relationship. Maybe she hadn't talked to him in awhile and didn't know he had a girlfriend. Maybe she's a bartender and can only talk at odd hours and, knowing how late he used to stay up, figured she'd try her luck?
Almost sounds like you are trying to justify all of this in your mind. You are making excuses, instead of getting the facts straight from the source. Talk to your man. Don't play the witch hunt games, and further your own insecurities. Be honest, and expect some honesty in return. If you both cant give each other at least that, then you both deserve better.

My SO goes golfing on the weekends, and he has NEVER not come home, or gone out to a bar, without coming home to get me prior to going (in 4 years).

IMO I think he is cheating on you.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:18 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,230,433 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omaraz View Post
I agree, OP can let this go but if I were her I would let the boyfriend know that he's "on watch." She can explain that she has no problem with him having female friend but she does have a problem with him not giving her a clear explanation about exactly who she is.

I wouldn't push the issue but I wouldn't necessarily buy the fact that she doesn't live in the state anymore. Maybe it's me being paranoid but I would totally search the internet for her phone number and see what I can find. I wouldn't bring it up to him again but if I was OP and I found out he was lying, I'd be out.

On Watch? Seriously?

If any man ever told me I was "on watch" he would be watching me tell him to eff off and walking out the door.
I am a grown woman and I talk to, email, text and go out with whomever I want to and I do not ask permission from anyone. Nor do I need to be "watched", I grew up many years ago and was raised quite well by my Mother who earned the right to teach me and tell me what to do since she gave birth to me.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,405,340 times
Reputation: 6031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Concerned Aunt 936 View Post
Almost sounds like you are trying to justify all of this in your mind. You are making excuses, instead of getting the facts straight from the source. Talk to your man. Don't play the witch hunt games, and further your own insecurities. Be honest, and expect some honesty in return. If you both cant give each other at least that, then you both deserve better.

My SO goes golfing on the weekends, and he has NEVER not come home, or gone out to a bar, without coming home to get me prior to going (in 4 years).

IMO I think he is cheating on you.
I have to agree. I'm thinking that the reason he was buried in his phone all day was that the OP found out about this other woman. I think they ended up hooking up recently, and that was why she called and texted his phone at 3 in the morning.

The better question at this point was if it was a mistake on his part?
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:26 AM
 
26 posts, read 148,761 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Concerned Aunt 936 View Post
My SO goes golfing on the weekends, and he has NEVER not come home, or gone out to a bar, without coming home to get me prior to going (in 4 years).

IMO I think he is cheating on you.

I wouldn't mind being invited for a drink afterwards.

I will add that he has invited me to come along on golfing trips on ocassion. And just ride around on the cart and have a drink if I don't want to play. It just doesn't really appeal to me.

However, they play all over the place, not just at one course--they just play wherever they can get a good deal, and sometimes drive as far as 60 miles away, so sometimes it'd be a bit of a drive for just a quick drink.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:27 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,233 posts, read 52,655,546 times
Reputation: 52753
He most likely has been with her sexually in the past and she was probably looking to have some phone sex with the guy if she truly is out of state, she could have been lying about that part and was looking for a booty call.

Unless you talk to him, you won't know what's going on.
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