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Agreed. If a woman isn't enjoying herself, up to and including the grand finale, but will not point me in the right direction, I have little sympathy for her.
As you say, it's great when a partner maps the road for you, when it is advantageous for both people. When I was in my 30s I saw a couple of women in their 50s. They had no problem telling me what they wanted. "OK put this here now twist this way and then no not that nope nope oh yeah that's it now poke this and twist that and put this there jump up and down smack me here and then it was " then I was "now go fix me a sandwich".
That may be true but there comes a point at which people need to stop airing their dirty laundry in public.
I agree, and the whole scene was weird after that point. We were looking for an "exit" at that point, but we didn't want to be rude to the hosts. Although, it was like watching a train wreck, I couldn't help but listen.
I'd bet that his lack of interest in her needs, and lack of empathy, is in all aspects of their relationship. And he is not going to change.
Sure, she needs to know her own body and be able to communicate. But none of that is going to help her get better sex from him. He's honey badger. He doesn't give a sh*t.
I'd bet that his lack of interest in her needs, and lack of empathy, is in all aspects of their relationship. And he is not going to change.
Sure, she needs to know her own body and be able to communicate. But none of that is going to help her get better sex from him. He's honey badger. He doesn't give a sh*t.
In his case, yes. I just think he was taking a phrase that was intended one way, and use it to justify his selfishness (which I was saying was not really what the intent of this phrase was).
Wow, not at all...my husband cares, as did most other men I've been with. I just mean that I've seen so many women wonder why they can't orgasm during sex, yet they're not taking any steps to ensure their partner even knows HOW to get them off, or doing anything proactively to make it happen. He could well assume all is "fine" since she's not telling him otherwise.
What you meant and what you typed seem to differ as to me there's quite a difference between assuming all is fine and your statement questioning how is he supposed to care (implying that caring whether the partner orgasms is not an innate male desire and only brought up when the partner voices she wants an orgasm).
What you meant and what you typed seem to differ as to me there's quite a difference between assuming all is fine and your statement questioning how is he supposed to care (implying that caring whether the partner orgasms is not an innate male desire and only brought up when the partner voices she wants an orgasm).
There's nothing differing about that. I'm not trying to male bash here, although it seems you are. SOME men don't care at all. Most do. Others are inexperienced and might think that all is "fine" since she doesn't object, and might not "care" in the sense that he assumes she's fine with everything, so why make an issue where he doesn't believe there is one. I can't speak to whether a man has an innate desire to care whether his partner orgasms.
Side question - what about women who clearly don't reach orgasm, but seem to be unwilling to LET their partner try anything different to get her there? Pushing him away, telling him to just "do it their regular way", etc.
I think it is the female responsibility to learn about her own body (enough to create her own Os) and then to communicate what she has learned to her partner when necessary. It's not her job to get herself off by herself every time! That's crazy talk.
Sounds like those people might need an instruction manual to start with.
"I think it is the female responsibility to learn about her own body (enough to create her own Os)"
Touche' I have always been amazed when an otherwise mature woman,lets say 30-40s still has not a clue on what works for her.
"Sounds like those people might need an instruction manual to start with"
Lots of good books out there!
Side question - what about women who clearly don't reach orgasm, but seem to be unwilling to LET their partner try anything different to get her there? Pushing him away, telling him to just "do it their regular way", etc.
Sounds terrible. I haven't met any like this since my 20s.
There's nothing differing about that. I'm not trying to male bash here, although it seems you are. SOME men don't care at all. Most do. Others are inexperienced and might think that all is "fine" since she doesn't object, and might not "care" in the sense that he assumes she's fine with everything, so why make an issue where he doesn't believe there is one. I can't speak to whether a man has an innate desire to care whether his partner orgasms.
To you there's nothing differing about that. There's a difference to me between "assuming all is fine" and "how is he supposed to care if you don't bring it up". The former implies he thinks all is well/that she is orgasming or that she isn't and is fine with it. The latter implies that caring if she orgasms isn't a default and only done when brought up.
In your opinion most guys care. Toss up on whether that's the truth however studies and statistics suggest otherwise to me.
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