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I am awfully sensitive. My problem is that even though I can handle things at an intellectual level, my "nervous system" has a life of its own and surges into anxiety, then plunges.
...
Have you ever read about stress and the fight or flight instinct? Basically it's this-
when something happens to upset or threaten us, our body immediately and automatically enters into the fight or flight mode- a primitave means of protecting ourselves.
We produce a surge of adrenaline to prepare ourselves to run away or fight for our lives......
If we don't run or fight, that adrenaline settles into our body in pockets of stress.... which can then make us sick and tense and nervous.
So don't let criticism get to you in such a physical way. It's SO not good for you.
Have you ever read about stress and the fight or flight instinct? Basically it's this-
when something happens to upset or threaten us, our body immediately and automatically enters into the fight or flight mode- a primitave means of protecting ourselves.
We produce a surge of adrenaline to prepare ourselves to run away or fight for our lives......
If we don't run or fight, that adrenaline settles into our body in pockets of stress.... which can then make us sick and tense and nervous.
So don't let criticism get to you in such a physical way. It's SO not good for you.
Right, interesting. I have this very (very) minor and common heart condition called "mitral valve prolapse" and people claim that individuals with this condition have a lot of anxiety similar to mine, but doctors don't seem to believe it.
I have MVP too, and I don't have any more anxiety than anyone without it does. But I do have instances when my heart races for a short period of time. I wonder if your fight or flight causes your mitral valve to stick and therefore make heart to race...... that would make perfect sense.
(Off topic but I have to ask Golden Mom- have you been to the dentist lately? Last time I went they told me that the American Heart Association said pre medicating for teeth cleanings is no longer necessary)
i am ashamed to admit that i tend to have alot of trouble accepting criticism. i dont know why this is so. any ideas on why i am this way or how to get myself to accept it without getting angry or feeling hurt?
Typically I find that when it's gotten to the point where people actively vocalize criticism that it's reached a point where there's obviously something to it.... I get defensive and actively try to explain myself or provide excuses usually when criticized (since I can't deny the criticism usually.. ), but people don't like that so I've learned it's best to accept it graciously and try to keep my mouth shut..... Doesn't mean I actually do, just that I know better..
I have MVP too, and I don't have any more anxiety than anyone without it does. But I do have instances when my heart races for a short period of time. I wonder if your fight or flight causes your mitral valve to stick and therefore make heart to race...... that would make perfect sense.
(Off topic but I have to ask Golden Mom- have you been to the dentist lately? Last time I went they told me that the American Heart Association said pre medicating for teeth cleanings is no longer necessary)
I am shocked at that news, pirate girl, so I had to look it up. Here's a link
Mitral Valve and Mitral Valve Prolapse (http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4717 - broken link)
My dentist hadn't told me about that, nor had my dr. I'm going to have to find out why they changed their minds. (Of course, that's kind of like the question of whether or not to take a daily aspirin as part of a anticoagulant therapy. Some drs push it, some don't because they believe the risk of problems from the aspirin outweighs the other risks.) Hmmmm, no antibiotics anymore......Well, to tie this to the relationship forum, it's kind of like suddenly being told you can go without a condom but it's been so long you aren't sure you can trust it.....
How well I take criticism depends on how it is being presented to me. Are they trying to be tactful, objective and using logic? Or are they in attack mode, making emotionally subjective points, and trying to make themselves appear better by bringing me down?
Otherwise, I never take criticism to heart and let it get me down. I have way too much self esteem and confidence to let it hurt me. To begin with, I overthink everything. So should someone start to critic me, I have already thought about it and discounted that point. lol However, I try not to come off as being too full of myself. My attitude is more like I don't care what most other people think of me. If I am happy with myself, that is mostly all that matters. I also care about what my boyfriend thinks of me. Then of course, my dogs and cats think that I am perfect, their goddess.
A great way to diffuse the criticism is to thank that person for caring to make you a better person. That should startle them. lol
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
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I don't mind it if it is warranted. For example if somebody tells me I am ugly, that is OK because I am. But if they say I am lazy or have a quick temper then I will be knocking a few teeth out!
it's not that i want to hear only good about myself because someone saying nothing about me would seem just a good. (hee if that sentence even makes sense) and yes i do feel that alot of people KNOW not to upset me because of my potential reaction (i know this isnt something to be proud of at all but it does make things alot easier on everyone, mostly me) and i dont consider it actually rewarding them for lying to me but more of saving them from my wrath. eeek, i am so ashamed to be saying any of this. yes, i do feel threatened and i really want to change and fix this but dont know how. hmmm, i think i am better able to handle criticism if it is worded nicely so hmmm, maybe i am just normal? but nah, i know i still have this problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnyDayNow
Only you can answer the "why" for yourself and how to change it.
Rhetorical questions to encourage self-analysis:
-Why do you only want to hear good about yourself? If someone tells you what you want to hear because they know you will get mad at them for being honest, you are rewarding them for lying to you. Is that what you want?
-Why do you feel threatened when someone says something you don't like or you don't want to hear?
that fight or flight thing happens to me whenever i get my blood drawn. i start to feel woozy and a high pitched ringing and a heavy buzzing sound surrounds me and i start to sweat (drenching) and get white as a ghost (the nurses will say things like "ive never seen someone so pale before" and i almost black out. i lose my vision but can still hear. it's just horrible! i would love to be a blood donor but cant because of my reaction. i hope this is the fight or flight and not something else?
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate girl
Have you ever read about stress and the fight or flight instinct? Basically it's this-
when something happens to upset or threaten us, our body immediately and automatically enters into the fight or flight mode- a primitave means of protecting ourselves.
We produce a surge of adrenaline to prepare ourselves to run away or fight for our lives......
If we don't run or fight, that adrenaline settles into our body in pockets of stress.... which can then make us sick and tense and nervous.
So don't let criticism get to you in such a physical way. It's SO not good for you.
Nico, I think that's just fear versus fight or flight. You seem to have a MAJOR fear of the needle. If I were you I wouldn't donate blood either!
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), but people don't like that so I've learned it's best to accept it graciously and try to keep my mouth shut..... Doesn't mean I actually do, just that I know better.. 
) and yes i do feel that alot of people KNOW not to upset me because of my potential reaction (i know this isnt something to be proud of at all but it does make things alot easier on everyone, mostly me) and i dont consider it actually rewarding them for lying to me but more of saving them from my wrath. eeek, i am so ashamed to be saying any of this. yes, i do feel threatened and i really want to change and fix this but dont know how. hmmm, i think i am better able to handle criticism if it is worded nicely so hmmm, maybe i am just normal? but nah, i know i still have this problem.
