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Single Moms need love too and don't expect for you to pay our way, we're strong and independent because we have to be. I just don't understand why some or most men hate dating a single mom especially if she is attractive. I don't get it.
In most cases, the problem isn't that they don't like single mothers. The problem is they don't like children.
well lets try this again---
would you believe that children are no longer seen as an asset in our dwindling economy?
would you believe that a man would not want to be part of a relationship where she still loves the father of her children and equally true he still loves her?
would you believe that a child might feel threatened and maybe even hostile to a new adult coming into the home and trying to act like his father who was taken away from him for reasons beyond his understanding?
if we cant talk about these basic issues honestly, there is little point in me posting on this thread.
well lets try this again---
would you believe that children are no longer seen as an asset in our dwindling economy?
would you believe that a man would not want to be part of a relationship where she still loves the father of her children and equally true he still loves her?
would you believe that a child might feel threatened and maybe even hostile to a new adult coming into the home and trying to act like his father who was taken away from him for reasons beyond his understanding?
if we cant talk about these basic issues honestly, there is little point in me posting on this thread.
Children haven't been seen as an economic asset to families for decades. Yet, people still want and have children. In the vast majority of cases, it is simply untrue that single mothers are still in love with the fathers of their children. Yes, some children can feel threatened by the presence of a new adult. But people deal with it all the time. Want to talk about honesty? You honestly need to stop projecting your own personal issues onto everyone else. Believe it or not, not everyone thinks like you.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant
Most people (beyond a certain age) have children. Most people have pets, or at least assert an affinity towards pets. Those who are disaffected by children, or who dislike pets, will constrain their dating-options. In fact mainstream society would likely be more disparaging of people who dislike pets, than of people who dismiss single-moms.
I haven't heard of many who dislike single moms. Some, myself among them, wouldn't want to be with a single mom because they do not wish to be a parent. But I think the majority of us admire single moms for raising children by themselves.
Quote:
As for my own view of single moms, or single dads: I am an antinatalist. I have the same view of single-parents as of married-parents. The difference is that presumably married parents are not in the dating-market.
Yes, "antinatalism" is a lame philosophy at best and evil at worst. But these comments belong in the philosophy forum.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,851 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
well lets try this again---
would you believe that children are no longer seen as an asset in our dwindling economy?
No, I wouldn't. We need more people coming into the workforce to replace people as they age. Therefore adding workers is nearly always positive.
Quote:
would you believe that a man would not want to be part of a relationship where she still loves the father of her children and equally true he still loves her?
He might, but but he would be part of it because he is still responsible for the child, not necessarily because he is still in love with the woman. He might have found someone else.
This is a lame reason to not be with a single mother.
Quote:
would you believe that a child might feel threatened and maybe even hostile to a new adult coming into the home and trying to act like his father who was taken away from him for reasons beyond his understanding?
It's possible. It is a sensitive matter and must be handled delicately.
A single mom with a kid wants a guy to except them as a package. To be with her you have to except the kid also. There is no excepting them as a package until you get to know her FIRST. Which some women dont let happen. Guys loose interest fast having to except both, not even getting to know if she is even worth having a relationship with. Yes we get it. we have to take both of you. Not until we find out first if you are one of those women just looking for a wallet, not a guy to have a relationship with. Most are like this. Some just want help raising their kid/kids. Some guys fall for this. Right after she gives him some on the first date.
well lets try this again---
would you believe that children are no longer seen as an asset in our dwindling economy?
would you believe that a man would not want to be part of a relationship where she still loves the father of her children and equally true he still loves her?
would you believe that a child might feel threatened and maybe even hostile to a new adult coming into the home and trying to act like his father who was taken away from him for reasons beyond his understanding?
if we cant talk about these basic issues honestly, there is little point in me posting on this thread.
Can you HONESTLY say that people choose to become parents because it is an "economical" decision? Oh dear lord.
People become parents by choice or by circumstance. Good parents accept the roll and work for the children to thrive regardless of the circumstances.
And please tell me where in h**l you get the idea that all single moms still love the dad?! Ignorance speaking, thanks.
A child may or may not feel threatened over the addition of another parent. Some children never will. Assuming ALL will? Ignorance speaking.
If you're going to add something, try not to make sweeping "one size fits all" statements if you want to be taken seriously.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,851 times
Reputation: 2158
I wouldn't be with a single mother because:
Emotionally, I don't want children right now (there have been times in the past when I did)
My financial situation means it would be irresponsible to have children of my own or to become a father to the children of someone else.
This thing where people are judging single mothers, and disliking them, or claiming they are sluts...that's disgraceful. For anyone to decide to have children is noble and a woman who is raising children by herself is noble and heroic, and someone to admire.
I wouldn't seriously date(I would sleep with her) a single mom because,
1. I don't want to raise another mans kids. When I get married I want me and my wife to have kids together, not her having her own kids already.
2. Don't want to deal with baby daddy drama.
3. I don't want to be restrained by somebody else's child, I don't want to have to see if she can get a baby sitter if I want to go out spur of the moment.
4. I don't want to have to deal with somebody's ingrate child.(i.e. "your not my daddy").
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