How do I get out when we're both stuck in a Lease? (girlfriend, married)

[msaRick]

I need a few suggestions....

I have been living with my Girlfriend since July, but have come to realize that things are not going well. Normally, this would be the point where I call it quits, but we are both on the lease until July. Neither of us can afford this place on our own, and its a one bedroom, so swaping one of us for a roomate is not an option. I could wait until May, then give her a couple grand to get her through until July, but May seems a long time to lead her on. She has no idea I feel this way. I can't help but act like things are OK, because of the lease problem. Any suggestions?

[Marylandkitten]

You can get out if your work is transferring you somewhere else, or if someone breaks into your apartment generally and commits a crime... why is it so intolerable? can one of you not sleep on the couch or something till then? If you can't afford to live on your own (either of you) what would you planning on doing in July to afford it, that you can't afford it right now?

She has no idea you feel this way.. things aren't working out the way you wanted. What went wrong? what is fixable? What happened to change your mind that you can't see living with for the next 6 months or so?

Need more details!

[msaRick]

We could each afford to live on our own, just not in this place. The unbearable thing is that, because of the lease thing, I am essentially physically stuck in a relatioship I don't want to be in. Its like prison. Now I know what unhappy married guys feel like. Atleast I'm not in that situation. My busy work season starts in January, and I'm actually looking foward to it becuase it will limit the amount of time I spend with her.

Sleep on the couch until May? That would be the most awkward thing ever, living with someone you have broken up with, wouldn't it? I think I'd rather live a lie for 6 more months.

Oh, and gennerally speaking, for when the time comes, I guess the best way to break up with someone who thinks things are going magical is just to be straight foward?

[Marylandkitten]

Well I wouldn't pretend to be in a relationship with her till your lease is over just because its convenient for you. ....but I can imagine that living with her afterwards would be terribly aquward as well. What is making it so difficult right now, if she has no idea you feel this way? I know you don't want to hear this... but "Honesty is the best policy".

How long was your original lease set for? How long have you been living with her so far? Better question... how long did you know her before you agreed to live with her?

My friend got out of her lease because the cousin of the owner of the complex broke in through her front window and tried to attack her.

I got out of my lease with my ex because we had his manager a friend at his work write out a letter that he was transferring to a different state. (which we were, from TX to FL)

Lots of different ways to get out... it all says it right on your lease. You have a copy you can take a look at?

[msaRick]

I'm 5 months into a one year lease. We only dated for about 9 months before we moved in together and I was on the rebound. I'll read my lease a little more carefully and see if there is anything I can come up with. I was wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this same circumstance.

[Rcm58]

Rick if you can live a lie for 6 more months surely she can hold up a picture of someone else when your making love, oh god thats bad even for me. The point i'm trying to make is that the credit you'd lose for leaving now won't haunt you for the rest of your life.

[pirate girl]

If you're willing to pay her a couple thousand to leave in May, you might be able to pay your landlord a couple thousand so you can be out of it and moving on with your life now.... Just MHO.

[miu]

Originally Posted by msaRick

We could each afford to live on our own, just not in this place. The unbearable thing is that, because of the lease thing, I am essentially physically stuck in a relatioship I don't want to be in. Its like prison. Now I know what unhappy married guys feel like. Atleast I'm not in that situation. My busy work season starts in January, and I'm actually looking foward to it becuase it will limit the amount of time I spend with her.

I think that you owe it to her to talk about the whole situation calmly first. It's also part of being an adult. I don't understand what it is about her that is so unbearable. Her laugh? Is she too clingy? Is she bad in bed? And will she react badly (too emotionally) when you tell her that you aren't in love with her anymore? If you are willing to buy your way out of the lease, then you must be desperate to get away from her.

I don't see what the big deal is about staying and just working a lot. January isn't that far away.

[KevK]

I don't understand why you would move in with somebody and then decide to kick them to the curb like that unless you are having an affair or something. A woman is not a dog and you cannot just return her to the pet store.

[christina0001]

I think you should call the landlord and see what your options are. If you can break the lease without incurring a higher penalty than you can afford, then go for it. Otherwise, honestly I would suck it up.