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If you're only seeing each other one a week then boredom is the least of your worries.
So you want to see him more during the week ... what is his response?
Yeah I agree. I just can't see myself being in a relationship with someone I only see once a week. I do understand with both your situation being single parents that might be normal, who knows.
But how I roll though is... I tell the guy what I want in a relationship, and if he can't give me what I want then what's the point?
I never ask him to see me during the week. I guess if I don't ask then I won't know right? I guess it's just assumed by both of us that Saturday is "our" day.
Being cheated on SUCKS. I really feel for you and I totally understand how it makes you doubt yourself and how difficult it is not to carry those feelings into your next relationship. It's hard. But it also sucks not to be trusted and given the benefit of the doubt because of something someone else did. I would have assumed that after the exclusive talk you both would have deleted your profiles. I've heard people say the website shows them as logging in when they haven't been on it for months, so it could very well be something like that. I would ask him in a casual way. Tell him you deleted yours, did he delete his? I wouldn't want to date someone who promised to be exclusive with me, but still kept their online profile up and active. Just talk to him about it. It's the only way.
Being cheated on SUCKS. I really feel for you and I totally understand how it makes you doubt yourself and how difficult it is not to carry those feelings into your next relationship. It's hard. But it also sucks not to be trusted and given the benefit of the doubt because of something someone else did. I would have assumed that after the exclusive talk you both would have deleted your profiles. I've heard people say the website shows them as logging in when they haven't been on it for months, so it could very well be something like that. I would ask him in a casual way. Tell him you deleted yours, did he delete his? I wouldn't want to date someone who promised to be exclusive with me, but still kept their online profile up and active. Just talk to him about it. It's the only way.
It does suck. I was with my ex for 18 years.
People have told me that when you click on an email from them it automatically logs you in, too. I don't know. I guess I will figure out a way to ask him without seeming insecure.
People have told me that when you click on an email from them it automatically logs you in, too. I don't know. I guess I will figure out a way to ask him without seeming insecure.
I think there's a difference between being needy and constantly insecure and being a little bit vulnerable and sensitive because of a bad past experience. While I wouldn't give you a free pass to crazy behavior like interrogating him on his whereabouts every time he leaves your sight or expecting to go through his phone, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to know he is serious about you and not trying to meet anyone else. I don't think that makes you insecure at all and if he's a good guy who cares about you he won't mind deleting his profile and reassuring you.
You should have cut the ties with this guy the moment you even thought about making a "fake profile" to "check up on him".
You have already accused him of cheating even though he has done nothing and you did this just because you were cheated on "By SOMEONE ELSE". The current guy IS NOT SOMEONE ELSE.
Move on and let him find a woman who will not compare him to others and accuse him of cheating or feel the need to check up on him with a fake profile which I'm sure you will never tell him about. Talk about being deceiving.
Also, it appears the only "commitment" you have to this guy is checking up on him to see if you can prove he is cheating and then the icing on the cake is that you want to lie to him as well and tell him "your friend" saw his profile.
You need to stay out of any sort of relationship until you get past the whole cheating issue. That was someone else not the current person and the current person does not deserve to be treated as a cheater when they have done nothing wrong.
Wow, that's really harsh. I really don't think the OP deserves this response.
Did he ever come out and tell you that he would delete his account?
Or are you just assuming that he's on the same page as you because you want him to be?
No, we are on the same page. We have talked about not seeing other people only each other. WE never talked about deleting our profiles. I did on my own & just assumed he would his.
Wow, that's really harsh. I really don't think the OP deserves this response.
Actually, I see the wisdom in this. (Newsflash: Lilac agrees with CSD.)
I actually had to edit similar comments out of my own post. I had originally written, "It sucks being cheated on, but that doesn't give you the right to suspect every other guy you might date of doing the same. That's not fair to them. If you are so suspicious that you are going out of your way to spy on a guy at this early juncture, you're still not fully healed, and if you're not fully healed, you have no business getting into a relationship in the first place."
But I think we need to find out what he actually said about his dating profile, first. It sounds like she deleted hers and just assumed he would delete his. Maybe they spoke about not seeing other people, but in situations like this, it's best to just be thorough and say, "Okay, so that means we are both taking our dating profiles down and focusing on each other, right?"
Explicit, clear, and direct, always the best way to go.
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