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Is that your idea of dating? If you're asking about hooking up, technically that can be done at any age, though it's much less likely past the age of, say, 30 I would think.
Honestly even 30 is being generous. Most people I know start getting engaged at around 23-24. Which means they've been together for at least 2 years prior. Meaning if you haven't had the wild hook up lifestyle by 21 you probably won't afterwards.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1
Honestly even 30 is being generous. Most people I know start getting engaged at around 23-24. Which means they've been together for at least 2 years prior. Meaning if you haven't had the wild hook up lifestyle by 21 you probably won't afterwards.
Good heavens, you must live in the South or a very rural area.
I would say it stops being fun for men when women will only date men that have their **** together, lives together, when you have all of those responsibilities there is less time for fun, but that's life
Good heavens, you must live in the South or a very rural area.
I can attest to this....I was born and raised in a large Sunbelt metro area, but for all intents and purposes, we are still in the South in terms of the overall mentality towards dating. It seems like once everyone hits their mid 20s the goal is to find someone to settle down with.
Even at bars and clubs you don't see a lot of casual mingling going on; people tend to stick to their groups and hope that they get introduced to someone through mutual friends. I'm sure some hooking up still goes on, but its done very discreetly as men and women are deathly afraid of getting a reputation as a sl*t or manw***e.
My experience has been that almost every woman I've hooked up with has wanted me to stick around for a while. I don't mind doing so but then it doesn't take long before they start demanding exclusivity from me.
Sometimes I've gotten outright depressed at the fact that I can't seem to live my life as a carefree bachelor without constantly getting guilt tripped for having the audacity to want sex without strings attached. I put a lot of value on my independence, and its tiring that lot's of women here don't want to respect that. Guys like me are accused of being players and are treated like lepers because we prefer and actually quite enjoy being single but would still like some company from time to time.
I've never lived in a more progressive or socially liberal city....so the attitude towards dating may be completely different than what I experience here....but I will say it is definitely a draining activity for single guys like me.
Last edited by go-getta-J; 04-03-2014 at 08:15 PM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go-getta-J
I've never lived in a more progressive or socially liberal city....so the attitude towards dating may be completely different than what I experience here....but I will say it is definitely a draining activity for sinlge guys like me.
It's a bit different, mainly in the way that cities I've lived in like Burlington VT, SF, Boston, Madison WI most of the women I met were finishing undergrad at 21, then they want to focus on their career for a bit, then grad school, then onto more career and settle down (and plenty don't want to settle down too)... so you're looking at late 20s to early 30s before people get really serious. I was 31 when finishing grad school and that is fairly typical plus or minus a couple of years. I'm early 40s so I'm mainly dating divorcees, and often they don't want anything serious, just fun after a long downward spiral of a marriage that they're now free of.
It's a bit different, mainly in the way that cities I've lived in like Burlington VT, SF, Boston, Madison WI most of the women I met were finishing undergrad at 21, then they want to focus on their career for a bit, then grad school, then onto more career and settle down (and plenty don't want to settle down too)... so you're looking at late 20s to early 30s before people get really serious. I was 31 when finishing grad school and that is fairly typical plus or minus a couple of years. I'm early 40s so I'm mainly dating divorcees, and often they don't want anything serious, just fun after a long downward spiral of a marriage that they're now free of.
Yeah it pretty much works the same here, just subtract 5 years and the grad school part. By late 20s, most everyone is coupled up to some degree. The remaining singles are in full-on panic mode to find someone (women to a greater degree). The thing is in the South there is a lot of social pressure from family and church to get married....heck even my parents used to bug me about it constantly after I graduated college 5 years ago until only recently they've let up a little.
I plan on moving to South Florida soon to get away from all this nonsense. I've heard things are way more laid back on the dating scene. Just look good, dress well, spend a little money, and be confident. I'm not against the idea of settling down one day, but I want it to be on my terms and when I am ready.
I've heard and read a lot of stories of wild things people did when they were in high school or college. Wild sexual things and it all sounds very fun. For ex. people who were in high school marching band getting a handjob on the bus or having secret sex in a hotel room, high school football players and just college students in general hooking up at parties and I guess I'm asking if it's possible to have that kind of fun as an adult or does it just get lame after a while because everybody expects you to marry and settle down? Does dating eventually go from being fun to just being a chore?
From what is posted on this forum I would say whatever age the current daters posting on this forum are is the age that dating quits being fun.
I've heard and read a lot of stories of wild things people did when they were in high school or college. Wild sexual things and it all sounds very fun. For ex. people who were in high school marching band getting a handjob on the bus or having secret sex in a hotel room, high school football players and just college students in general hooking up at parties and I guess I'm asking if it's possible to have that kind of fun as an adult or does it just get lame after a while because everybody expects you to marry and settle down? Does dating eventually go from being fun to just being a chore?
First of all, I don't consider anything you wrote to be "dating". That's just "hooking up" or having fun.
So, are you asking when actual dating becomes a chore or hooking up becomes a chore?
However, when you find someone you can't get enough of, and you're older, that's when the fun begins. I recall two guys in my 30's who I happily gave hand jobs to while I was driving (or they were) or they got BJ's in random places. Getting it on in the car cuz you can't wait to go home. Having quickies at lunch, cuz you can. Trying not to get caught doing things at work, LOL. Etc. It was stupid, it was high schoolish, but we could not get enough of one another sexually, so we took really stupid chances (esp at work) and had fun pretty much anywhere and everywhere. Oh, and I was in relationships with those guys.
Dating is a chore when you have to keep going out on them and not getting any results. Kinda like applying for jobs and not getting a job.
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I'm not against the idea of settling down one day, but I want it to be on my terms and when I am ready.
