Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Someone posted a map here of obesity in America, and CO and the West Coast had the healthiest people. The men and women I see (speaking of the below 50-ish crowd) around me in CO, northern NM and California, and that I saw when I lived in Seattle, were no different than when I was a kid, and everyone was slim and trim. People are active; they run, bike, swim, hike, and workout regularly. Datability here isn't about weight.
And besides, so many C-D men yap about overweight women, yet when they post pix of what's "hot", MOST OF THE TIME they post pix of overweight women! And when they get called on that, they insist that some extra weight on a woman is good! Extra weight is "hot"! (And these are not the one or two admitted "chubby chasers" who post here, it's the other guys.) So pardon me, but y'all have lost ALL credibility on the weight issue.
RE: Hispanic women, in NM, yes, they're pudgy, but the men like them that way, they say so openly. In CA, I know a number of Hispanics, and of course, one can observe them all around, and I don't see overweight ones. Not in the CA university towns where I hang out, anyway, or in my social circles. Previously I was speaking mainly of white women.
for starters the obesity rate in Seattle is 27%, and 62% of satellites are clinically overweight, so don't tell me that everyone is fit in healthy up here. You have to remember that the weather is only decent for about 5 months out of the year in this part of the country, which means "running, biking, hiking etc is only for the die hards most of the time. And swimming? Are you crazy? The only place you'll be doing any swimming up here is in a heated pool. Try going for a swim in the sound, and tell me how that works out for you. The only reason cities like Seattle or Portland are considered "more fit" is because they're predominantly white and Asian. You could get a list of the most fit cities and a list of cities with the most white people, and they will almost mirror each other. The truth is that if your just talking about white people, than people are actually more fit in places like Florida, Hawaii, southern CA or coastal TX. As a whole these places don't rank well for being fit because they have large minority populations, that have much higher obesity rates.
And even if a city like Seattle is more fit, that would only make weight even more of an issue in regards to dating. your post makes no sense at all. I starting to wonder if you live in some alternate universe????
I am complaining a little. Venting I suppose. I want a quality/real relationship not a string of first dates or shallow FWB relationships. It's just hard to get (but what isn't hard to get that isn't "worth it"). I also don't mind being single. I would rather that then settle for a relationship at all costs or a relationship with the wrong man again.
In both cases, we want something and can't get it. So we gripe a little (and joke and share funny stories it would seem). Just because we want different things doesn't mean what the other person wants is any less valuable.
That said, you have every right to complain too--no one is denying you that. You want dates and they are hard to get. It's not that I don't understand that and can't sympathize/empathize with it (because while I can get dates easily now, for a long time I couldn't get any dates due to my shyness. And I have had guy friends who are in the same boat as you).
I gave up on women and dating along time I got tired of punishing myself.
It is telling that for the women who are sharing their stories here, sex hasn't come up once as a reason to meet men. Women will talk about being lonely or incompatible with the guys they're meeting, but not getting laid isn't really a driver for action.
Oh, it's pretty much the only driver for me .
Like I said in another thread, I think women don't mention it because we assume it is obvious. Not because we don't care. Friends, I already have. A lover is for love, and love-making.
NWGirl74, I hope you won't miss my post at the bottom of the previous page.
for starters the obesity rate in Seattle is 27%, and 62% of satellites are clinically overweight, so don't tell me that everyone is fit in healthy up here. You have to remember that the weather is only decent for about 5 months out of the year in this part of the country, which means "running, biking, hiking etc is only for the die hards most of the time. And swimming? Are you crazy? The only place you'll be doing any swimming up here is in a heated pool. Try going for a swim in the sound, and tell me how that works out for you.
Oh, get real! You're tr*11ing, now. Everyone (except you, apparently) knows that Seattle has a lot of lakes that are great for swimming. And yes, what's wrong with pools? And don't forget, in winter there's skiing. And no, hiking isn't for die-hards. Hiking is one of the most popular activities for area residents. Maybe you're one of those gamer types who sits around indoors year-round, and doesn't know how normal, non-troglodytic residents live.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky4life;
The only reason cities like Seattle or Portland are considered "more fit" is because they're predominantly white and Asian.
That's good enough for the majority of Seattle residents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky4life;
And even if a city like Seattle is more fit, that would only make weight even more of an issue in regards to dating. your post makes no sense at all. I starting to wonder if you live in some alternate universe????
hahaha! Weight might be an issue for the few who are overweight, but that's not the majority, or even a significant minority, if controlled for age. Remember, part of the 27% you cite are in the latter part of middle age or older, when it's common in most parts of the world to be significantly overweight, even clinically obese. And I'm not concerned with the weight of satellites, lol!
I try to be cautiously friendly with women, but I have no interest in romantic involvement, it is a fantasy that is unrealistic.
Most women in general I meet do not like the idea of being friends if their only goal is romance.
But romance tends to ignore truth for fantasy.
Friends get to know one another on a casual basis learning one another's faults and drama .
I have a few female friends , and this is the extent of our involvement.
One lady feels free to disagree with me ,and one agrees with me on every thing .
Which do you believe is being honest with me?
Some women know what their preferences are, and and some are still discovering them.
Immature men are this way as well.
Bottom line is I believe ,honesty . Honesty with your self and honesty with the people you associate, especially those one hopes to build a relationship.
Of course this is a male and female issue.
It seems though women whom prefer romance novels are still in fantasy.
Few men delude them selves in romance novels.
Eh. Most dudes aren't interested in a woman who is over 6' tall and built like a linebacker. It's really as simple as that. I mean, I'm a pretty fantastic person and have a huge group of friends from all over the world but I've never been good at 'romance'. I don't get asked out, I've had two boyfriends (both of whom dumped me because they decided they weren't attracted to me but I was good for the time being) and I simply don't get approached.
Thus is life. Being an unattractive woman means you get zero attention, unless it's by drunk guys who want to have one night stands.
It is telling that for the women who are sharing their stories here, sex hasn't come up once as a reason to meet men. Women will talk about being lonely or incompatible with the guys they're meeting, but not getting laid isn't really a driver for action.
It's really, really not, at least speaking for myself.
It's not that I don't enjoy my sex life, I certainly do, and it's a key component...but it's also kind of a given in the whole package. Sex is, honestly, a lot easier to come by than a true, meeting of the minds-style compatibility, so I always valued the latter more. The whole package is a lot more rare than just getting laid. As much as it pains some guys on here to hear it, it's not that tough to get laid if that's all you're looking for (and easier, still, if you have pretty wide-open standards for that). If you're looking for something more, well, that's where it gets a lot more complicated.
I don't have a pretty face at all. Maybe that shouldn't be such a big deal, but I used to get harassed a lot for it. In the city I live in now, it really doesn't happen a lot. Sometimes someone will make a comment, but it doesn't happen much. However, back in my old town it happened a lot. When I was a teenager, people made fun of me about it. I would go home and my mother and sister would comment about it. I gained weight (lost it later) so that was another reason so get teased. I got asked out on fake dates a lot.
Then I finished High School, and lost all the weight. And I also thought that since I was out of school people would leave me alone about my looks, but nope. The people I went to school with who were still around bothered me about it constantly. I finally got fed with my family, and friends and other people bugging me about it and moved to my current city when I was about 22. However after all of that I ended up developing social anxiety. I also feel extremely insecure about myself.
It's been five years, and I rarely hear how ugly I am but it's hard for me to go places because of my anxiety. So the idea of trying to date a guy scares me. Not only that, but the fact he might not like me because of my looks. I've tried online dating, but I haven't actually met anyone. I get terrified of the actual meet up. So I gave up on it. Plus I always think I look a lot better in pictures than real life. I think I am very photogenic, so I might look different from my pictures. One person on another message board told me maybe I've gotten better looking with age, since I don't hear it as often as I used to. I doubt it, a girl from my old town told me that I was still ugly when I bumped into her. I went down there to visit with family, and she was one of my main tormentors. Her comment was "I see you are still as ugly as ever." which kind of irritated me, because she has really let herself go a lot.
I spend most of my time working out to keep myself thin, and wearing pretty clothes to compensate for my looks. But I still feel absolutely terrified of dating someone. And although maybe adults would never do this, but I always feel worried it will be like High School and be a fake date.
Like I said in another thread, I think women don't mention it because we assume it is obvious. Not because we don't care. Friends, I already have. A lover is for love, and love-making.
NWGirl74, I hope you won't miss my post at the bottom of the previous page.
Exactly. I have lots of great friends and am not lonely for friendship.
Beyond sex, romantic relationships also have a different dynamic too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
It is telling that for the women who are sharing their stories here, sex hasn't come up once as a reason to meet men. Women will talk about being lonely or incompatible with the guys they're meeting, but not getting laid isn't really a driver for action.
I mentioned it. Somewhere in my wall of text, it's there.
It is a driver. It's just not a successful one. As someone noted, the desperate drive isn't attractive.
I don't do casual sex, so it's a primary reason for desiring a relationship.
I've never desired the "protector/provider" thing; I've always just wanted a lover, but who is also a friend and with the benefits of monogamy and long-term commitment.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.