Women who have long-term difficulty getting dates (dating, marriage, lover)
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I was sad to see the other thread was closed -- I think it's one of the best threads we've had in a long time. I'd appreciate it if people would play nice in this one.
We talk a lot in this forum about men who can't get dates, and why, and what to do about it. Let's have a thread that's just about the women!
Ladies, tell us here about your experiences. Is it hard to find dates? Have you decided to stop trying? Have you made a happy life for yourself without a partner? How is it going?
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Quote:
Don't tell me I am too picky if I don't want to date a jobless, chubby, mean, depressed, weird, or video game playing person. There MUST be normal guys out there, I truly believe it.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
Last edited by techcrium; 04-02-2014 at 09:12 PM..
As an older guy I find it interesting that there seems to be a shortage of decent 50+ guys for women to date.
May not be harder to get dates just harder to find someone decent to date.
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
I like your premise but I disagree with your statistics. Where did they come from, I don't know anyone in real life who plays video games. If you are writing some women have problems dating because their expectations aren't realistic then that might be true for some women.
I think what I read from a lot of the women on here is that they don't have an outlet to meet quality guys. I do believe if you are a good, quality guy then more than likely you are married by the time your in your mid-thirties. Also guys who are divorced or unmarried around their forties either have some kind of issue with marriage or are in no position to be married--mentally unhealthy, financially unhealthy.
From a guys perspective it's tough for a woman to date if she isn't attractive. The same thing goes for guys though, if you nor somewhat good looking it's going to be tough to get a date. The difference? Is you really don't get a bunch of women on message boards saying, "I'm a nice girl but men won't date me." I mean it's almost exclusively a guy thing to go on a message board and say, "I'm nice guy why don't women like nice guys." Usually these guys don't get the message make yourself attractive whereas most women seem to get the message.
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
This analysis is so wrong! Usually when men here use numbers to describe men or women, they're referring to looks. Many women are happy to date short guys, average guys, overweight guys, if the guys' character measures up, or they're smart and funny. So women are ok with 5/10 guys or 6/10 guys, or 4/10 guys.
Also bear in mind that your categories overlap a lot. Some of the same guys who are depressed are also mean and "weird", for example. Many of the 10% that are jobless are among the 10% that are depressed.
If you want to redefine what the 1-10 scoring system means, then say so. But you'll have to add looks in there, and a lot of other things. It's not at all so simple.
As an older guy I find it interesting that there seems to be a shortage of decent 50+ guys for women to date.
May not be harder to get dates just harder to find someone decent to date.
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
Most men don't want a mean, depressed, broke woman who is overweight and has an obsessive hobby he can't relate to (ie the much loathed "shoe lovers" among women). Most men don't want a woman taller than them either....
The height preference you've stated is wrong for most women...there are even studies which show women prefer taller men, but with two inches being enough. I see many short women (under 5'3) with short men (under 5'8). The men are taller than the women, but not tall.
Quote:
Ladies, tell us here about your experiences. Is it hard to find dates? Have you decided to stop trying? Have you made a happy life for yourself without a partner? How is it going?
It's not hard to find dates via online dating, but these are not often compatible people. They may sound good on paper and make for decent friends, but I find there's a reason these men don't come into my life organically. Online criteria tends to be looks and interests, with other stuff harder to determine. Offline, you cross paths with those of similar goals, values and lifestyles, THEN you note if they're attractive and share interests. It's a quantity vs quality thing.
I have made myself less open, but I waste less time and energy on the wrong men. These are good guys - just not compatible for longterm. I'm done messing around, and I've "experimented" in dating enough variety to have a clearer cut idea of what I NEED. This doesn't come down to measurable things like height or money.
Outside of the online arena, I rarely got interest from compatible men. I've gotten attention, but few asking me out. I own to being odd - I'm a weird mix of religious (that's not mainstream enough for some) and sort of hippy/arty/intellectual in my interests and some ideals.
It makes it so I don't really fit anywhere, and that makes it hard to find someone compatible. To make matters worse, people in my religious circle often marry young (glad I didn't!), which reduces options by a LOT.
As for "trying" - I'm always open to dating, but I don't seek out much. Supposedly I need to make more effort, but experience keeps showing me I fare better when engrossed with life and not obsessing over romance and sex. The latter can preoccupy me, which is why I should hang out here less.
So am I "happy" - yes and no. I'm happy with some stuff in my life and less so with others. I can't say I'm happy with the state of singleness, but I prefer it to investing emotional energy into the wrong men. I have a full life...my messy apartment vouches for the fact that I have little spare time. I'm at a point where the missing element (or the one I care about) is a romantic relationship.
I thought this would be more of a "what's wrong with you" thread, but since its not, I'll save my theory for another thread. I did touch on it with the "weird mix" part.
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
This doesn't even address what seems to be dealbreaker #1 for men or women either...smoking.
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