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View Poll Results: If a woman appraoches you and shows interest in you... and you are interested in her... do you ask f
yes 13 76.47%
no 4 23.53%
Voters: 17. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-04-2014, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,828,486 times
Reputation: 16642

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80 View Post
So many men in this forum are always complaining about being dateless, and resent having to approach women. Yet when a woman approaches you, you can't even take it to the next level and ask for her phone number? Unbelievable.

If the woman is attractive to you, and she takes the initiative to talk to you, but you can't take the next step, it seems like you're looking for excuses to not date. So stop coming here to complain when you're the ones shooting yourselves in the foot.
First off, I've never complained about being dateless. Second of all, if you look in my other post on this thread I said that I am usually not even thinking about dating. Even if I hit it off with a girl, I might not ask her number because I might not even feel like going on a date in the next couple days.

Girls talk to me all the time and I talk to them. It'd be crazy for me to ask a number every single time, I have many more things to do than always ask women out (ehhh ok, maybe not but still).

As said, if a lady is interested.. handing out her number isn't a bad thing to do... not all guys are waiting at the toes of their feet for a girl to talk to him so he can ask for her number right away.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:02 PM
 
Location: NYC
5,177 posts, read 4,632,131 times
Reputation: 7920
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
First off, I've never complained about being dateless. Second of all, if you look in my other post on this thread I said that I am usually not even thinking about dating. Even if I hit it off with a girl, I might not ask her number because I might not even feel like going on a date in the next couple days.

Girls talk to me all the time and I talk to them. It'd be crazy for me to ask a number every single time, I have many more things to do than always ask women out (ehhh ok, maybe not but still).

As said, if a lady is interested.. handing out her number isn't a bad thing to do... not all guys are waiting at the toes of their feet for a girl to talk to him so he can ask for her number right away.
Thank you for proving my point. Have you ever seen those mushy engagement videos where the guy confesses how they knew right away she was the one? Yeah, none of them began with this "take it or leave it" attitude you have. If Jillabean wants to find someone who will fall head over heels for her, you're the type of guy she needs to avoid!
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:22 PM
 
306 posts, read 298,788 times
Reputation: 75
This is why we need a mens studies class to teach women that no matter what about people tell you men are humans that won't risk rejection because you smiled at them. For the women who say they will wait for the man to approach what if the ones approaching are ugly men or only want sex will you stick to this strategy?
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:27 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,778,252 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by doobalistic View Post
This is why we need a mens studies class to teach women that no matter what about people tell you men are humans that won't risk rejection because you smiled at them. For the women who say they will wait for the man to approach what if the ones approaching are ugly men or only want sex will you stick to this strategy?
This topic isn't about men approaching. This is about a woman approaching a man she's interested in, giving all the signs she's interested including initiating flirtatious conversation, and then expecting the man to do likewise with the idea if he's interested enough in her, he will act on it. The premise is she already "accepted" him and is open to him. What you are talking about is completely different--it's about men cold approaching a woman.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:31 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,778,252 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
Thank you for proving my point. Have you ever seen those mushy engagement videos where the guy confesses how they knew right away she was the one? Yeah, none of them began with this "take it or leave it" attitude you have. If Jillabean wants to find someone who will fall head over heels for her, you're the type of guy she needs to avoid!
I like Burg, he seems like a nice guy, but you are right. I am not interested in the "take it or leave it" men or another wishy-washy dating experience.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:39 PM
 
306 posts, read 298,788 times
Reputation: 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
This topic isn't about men approaching. This is about a woman approaching a man she's interested in, giving all the signs she's interested including initiating flirtatious conversation, and then expecting the man to do likewise with the idea if he's interested enough in her, he will act on it. The premise is she already "accepted" him and is open to him. What you are talking about is completely different--it's about men cold approaching a woman.
Explain how he knows you have accepted him and I would expect a mature confident women would approach to ask you out not show signs that sign **** is so high school.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:53 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,778,252 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by doobalistic View Post
Explain how he knows you have accepted him and I would expect a mature confident women would approach to ask you out not show signs that sign **** is so high school.
I feel like I am talking in circles, I already went over all this. Just go back and read my posts.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:53 PM
 
663 posts, read 775,212 times
Reputation: 498
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
This topic isn't about men approaching. This is about a woman approaching a man she's interested in, giving all the signs she's interested including initiating flirtatious conversation, and then expecting the man to do likewise with the idea if he's interested enough in her, he will act on it. The premise is she already "accepted" him and is open to him. What you are talking about is completely different--it's about men cold approaching a woman.
Listen, there are tons of threads about how a guy tells how a woman is laughing and joking but when he asks for her number, she says she is busy or has a boyfriend so....

Most guys will not go for it.

In a bar/club where I don't really give a hoot about rejection and everyone is drunk anyways, I will definitely do it.

Out in public, I'm not gonna do it.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:54 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,778,252 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
Listen, there are tons of threads about how a guy tells how a woman is laughing and joking but when he asks for her number, she says she is busy or has a boyfriend so....

Most guys will not go for it.
That's the whole point. Most guys won't go for it, only the ones who are really interested will.
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Old 04-04-2014, 02:56 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,776,469 times
Reputation: 4097
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I respect you for that But honestly, I wouldn't want you do go out with me if you weren't attracted to me and are just going out because you though an action of mine was sexy (as opposed to being really interested in me).

I guess I have a different point of view. I rather have less dates (but with men who were really interested and attracted to me) than to just have a lot of dates and spin my wheels dating around. I suppose it's a reflection of my life. I am pretty busy with work, friends, hobbies, etc. I can (and do) make time to date... but it's not like I have all the time in the world to just date around.

But what you are saying could be helpful to a woman who does want to casually date (or has the time to)... you are saying it would increase her chances (at least with you).

It could be semantics, but PART of what I was saying is that the aforementioned action actually MAKES a woman more attractive (to me). I understand it still might be frustrating to have a guy say yes and then have it not be what you both were hoping for....but that happens. At least you get a fun date or a story out of it!

Besides, in the GRANDER scheme (for what little effect that may have), if I can encourage more women to be more assertive in that arena, I think it's a good thing. I definitely hear what you're saying, though.
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