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My situation is this... I've been talking to someone for almost 4 mons. In the beginning it was great he always wanted to see me. He's even come late after work just to see me (no sex) he 'genuinely' just missed me and wanted to see me. Around month 2, it started to change. He wasn't contacting me as much and I fell back a little. He briefly mentioned traveling for work the following month but we barely spoke. Right before he was suppose to leave we had plans but he was a no show. Smh, bc he reached out to me to make plans.
Anyway, The traveling month (month 3) came and he left but didn't contact me. I just called and wished him a safe trip. Since he was traveling to Asia. Anyway, during his trip he texted me a few times and that was it. When he returned the following week he bombarded me with calls and texts . Saying he missed me and wants to spend time with me. I ignored all the calls and texts, but gave in later that day. We spent 3 days together and everything was great. He talked about us growing and how he enjoys my company, yaddie yaddie. We had a genuine good time. We fooled around / no sex. Trust me, I was willing but he wants to wait. (Glad I never gave it away)
Ok, so the proceeding week, we spoke every single day except that weekend. He was kinda of MIA. His family was in town so I didn't push it, but I did send a text saying hello and jokingly asked if he forgot about me. He assured me he hasn't and just been busy.
So, another work week comes up and I don't hear from him at all. At this point I said I'm done with this wishy washy thing. I'm getting too old for games and for men who are unsure about me. But again, I gave in and texted him and asked how he was. He replied and then no contact until Friday. Friday, he called and said works been busy and he's been a bit overwhelmed. So I gave him a pass but still thinking with technology there's no such thing as too overwhelmed to just text hi. It literally takes less than 10 secs. He apologized for neglecting me and made plans for this weekend. I , like a dummy, accepted his offer to hang out.
Needless to say, there was no hang out and I haven't heard from him since. I refuse to call and text asked what happened. If he calls and texts I refuse to answer. If I do, it'll be to tell him to stop contacting me.
It seems like these are the guys I only run into..
Why does he pretend to show interest??????
It can't possibly be because I'm constantly contacting him, which I'm not.
Why do men make the effort to call and make plans if they know they don't want to??
Is it pity calls and arrangements? Wouldn't it be easier to just not contact me at all??
Everytime I delete his # and decide I'm done he pops up again. Whyyyyy??
Edited to add: sorry for the long post. I tried to keep it short ...
I dated a guy like this once thinking he just wasn't "ready" for a relationship, so one day I just had enough and told him to lose my number, he still texted me after that but I never answered. Low and behold a couple of months later he started dating a girl he is now engaged to. My point being, the whole time I was seeing him I was trying to convince myself that he was really into me and we'd eventually have a serious relationship, when in reality he was totally ready for a relationship, just not with me.
Don't make someone a priority in your life when you're only an option in theirs.
He's into you, but not that much. It's like when you go out to eat and have a sandwich that's okay, but you were really craving lasagna. I would either move on or keep it casual.
He thinks he will later down the road. Plus it seems to me he is testing you.Are you available for him? You could say yes to this.
Avoid him for awhile so he can think? What's her problem? She's so annoying. ....did she meet someone else? That b*tch! Omg I think I might want her? Or the...eff her I'll go get a new lady.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,566 times
Reputation: 2158
Initially I was going to say that someone would keep talking to you because they want to be friends. I know that in my case, I always want to be friends with people first, so if the feelings are not reciprocated (and they never have been), at least there is the possibility of remaining friends. I don't really want people to come into my life briefly, decide they're not interested romantically, then never speak to me again....not that the just friends reaction is not also heartbreaking, it just isn't as bad as no further contact.
In any case that doesn't seem to be happening here so I'm not sure what's going on. I think if the idea was to just have sex without a relationship he would have made a move during that weekend you were together.
I guess he was originally interested in something more but now just wants to be friends. I don't know, lol.
You sound like his backup option. It doesn't have to involve sex. Whenever he craves some human interaction and no one else is around, he'll go to you.
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