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"Have to" show constant interest 24/7? "Hardcore wooing"??
Do you not have much experience in this realm, OP? People show interest because it comes naturally. If a couple really clicks, they naturally want to spend as much time as possible getting to know each other. There is no "hardcore wooing", except what occurs naturally. Though I think 24/7 would be claustrophobic and overwhelming. I'm old-fashioned; a phone call a couple/few times a week plus hanging out on weekends is plenty.
If a man is interested he will fight for you. If he's not fighting hard then he is not into you.
For men: as a man do you feel you have to show constant , consistent interest 24/7? I'd think after a few dates/months that hardcore wooing effort will wind off and the relationship will be more relaxed.
For women: do you need that constant affirmation that he's so into you?
At what stage does the hard core wooing stop? Or should it never stop?
I neither need nor want constant affirmation. I think it's more about the vibe...if you feel like an option, if you are questioning in your gut whether a guy is into you, then he's not. Rather than say "fight for you" I'd say if a man is really into you, you'll know it and won't have to question it.
If a man is interested he will fight for you. If he's not fighting hard then he is not into you.
For men: as a man do you feel you have to show constant , consistent interest 24/7? I'd think after a few dates/months that hardcore wooing effort will wind off and the relationship will be more relaxed.
For women: do you need that constant affirmation that he's so into you?
At what stage does the hard core wooing stop? Or should it never stop?
I don't think a man should "fight" in the literal sense but in the emotional sense--but I think a man who is very interested in a woman will at least try to fight for her heart IF the opportunity presents itself.
For example, I just posted this morning, this very scenario that happened to me a few months ago.
I was the beach with a man I was dating. We were watching the surf and trying to gauge conditions before going out. Another man (who the man I was dating knew) walked up, said hello to him, and then proceeded to take an interest in me. I thought he was a friend or customer of my date's and while I wasn't interested in talking to this other man, I was being polite because he seemed to know my date.
Then, the man I was dating just walked away leaving me there with this guy without a word. I was stunned and confused at this action. Then the man talking to me stepped closer and got pretty flirtatious. I just wanted to get away from him. Turns out my date left because he knew the guy pretty well, thought he was a jerk and didn't like him. But at the same time he just left me there with a jerk he didn't like.
I didn't know it then, but it turned out the guy I was dating wasn't that into me.
I think if my date had been into me, because he didn't like the other guy, he would have stayed and passively "defended" me from this other guy just by his presence. Not a physical fight fight, but just by sticking with me and maybe putting his arm around me--it would have been a message. And it would not have afforded the other man an easy "move in" on me.
I don't need this kind of affirmation often (or at all really... it's not a "need")... but like I said, it's nice to have it when the opportunity presents itself and it's something I notice.
Nope. There are plenty of women out there who don't require this level of maintenance. If you want to tell yourself that it's because I'm "not that into you", then feel free to wait around for someone who is.
I don't think a man should "fight" in the literal sense but in the emotional sense--but I think a man who is very interested in a woman will at least try to fight for her heart IF the opportunity presents itself.
For example, I just posted this morning, this very scenario that happened to me a few months ago.
I was the beach with a man I was dating. We were watching the surf and trying to gauge conditions before going out. Another man (who the man I was dating knew) walked up, said hello to him, and then proceeded to take an interest in me. I thought he was a friend or customer of my date's and while I wasn't interested in talking to this other man, I was being polite because he seemed to know my date.
Then, the man I was dating just walked away leaving me there with this guy without a word. I was stunned and confused at this action. Then the man talking to me stepped closer and got pretty flirtatious. I just wanted to get away from him. Turns out my date left because he knew the guy pretty well, thought he was a jerk and didn't like him. But at the same time he just left me there with a jerk he didn't like.
I think if my date had been into me, because he didn't like the other guy, he would have stayed and passively "defended" me from this other guy just by his presence. Not a physical fight fight, but just by sticking with me and maybe putting his arm around me--it would have been a message. And it would not have afforded the other man an easy "move in" on me.
I don't need this kind of affirmation often... but like I said, it's nice to have it when the opportunity presents itself and it's something I notice.
So I have to constantly follow you around, and whenever another guy oggles your goods I have to punch them in the mouth? I have to do this now if I ever wanted another relationship?
Think I'll back out of this one tater. It's makes for a broken hand, and I at least need my right hand to keep me leveled out.
Nope I know that the whole "fight for you" is just a fancy romanticized version of the whole "pursuit" thing.
Obviously no one here is talking about wanting their guy to fight for their honor but if I don't get no feeling or reciprocation well then separate ways and wish them the best and all that.
I don't think a man should "fight" in the literal sense but in the emotional sense--but I think a man who is very interested in a woman will at least try to fight for her heart IF the opportunity presents itself.
For example, I just posted this morning, this very scenario that happened to me a few months ago.
I was the beach with a man I was dating. We were watching the surf and trying to gauge conditions before going out. Another man (who the man I was dating knew) walked up, said hello to him, and then proceeded to take an interest in me. I thought he was a friend or customer of my date's and while I wasn't interested in talking to this other man, I was being polite because he seemed to know my date.
Then, the man I was dating just walked away leaving me there with this guy without a word. I was stunned and confused at this action. Then the man talking to me stepped closer and got pretty flirtatious. I just wanted to get away from him. Turns out my date left because he knew the guy pretty well, thought he was a jerk and didn't like him. But at the same time he just left me there with a jerk he didn't like.
I didn't know it then, but it turned out the guy I was dating wasn't that into me.
I think if my date had been into me, because he didn't like the other guy, he would have stayed and passively "defended" me from this other guy just by his presence. Not a physical fight fight, but just by sticking with me and maybe putting his arm around me--it would have been a message. And it would not have afforded the other man an easy "move in" on me.
I don't need this kind of affirmation often (or at all really... it's not a "need")... but like I said, it's nice to have it when the opportunity presents itself and it's something I notice.
I think you're right. If he'd been into you, he'd have stayed by your side, maybe even told the other guy to get lost directly or through inference. What a shock to have him just walk away!
If a man is interested he will fight for you. If he's not fighting hard then he is not into you.
Baloney. My wife knows I love her. If she is doing things that force me to "fight" for her, then her attitude is wrong and maybe we made a mistake marrying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imagirlnamedk
For men: as a man do you feel you have to show constant , consistent interest 24/7? I'd think after a few dates/months that hardcore wooing effort will wind off and the relationship will be more relaxed.
Not at all. However, I do believe that as a man I need to take a daily interest in my wife. I make it a direct point to give her time each and every day of undivided attention just for her to show I care. To me, anything less is unacceptable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imagirlnamedk
At what stage does the hard core wooing stop? Or should it never stop?
When a relationship matures, the need to woo ceases. That said, a true love relationship (while it may take many forms) always incouodes some element of romance and passion.
No fighting about it, I just maintained a high level of interest. I knew all the right things to say and they were easy to say because they were heartfelt.
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