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There's this guy I work with every day at my job as an analyst. He's been there longer than me (he's a few years older) and he sort of appointed himself as my mentor. He always checks up on me and tries to make sure I get invited to important meetings and things that will help my career. He's also said things that could be interpreted as flirting, but I want to know what you all think. For example:
- I really like talking to you. I could do this for a long time.
- (when he called me on my work phone) How's my favorite analyst doing?
- (correcting something I did wrong, in a playful tone) Now I never want to see you do that again, ok?
We get into long conversations about both professional and personal things. He's also smiled at me in this way that I think could be flirty, but I'm not sure.
What do you guys think? Is he flirting or is he just being nice?
He's into you. Could get complicated, especially if he's above you in rank (you mentioned: mentor). If you don't respond to him the way he wants, he could cut you off and roadblock you in your job/career. If you DO respond the way he wants, that could also get very complicated over time, and blow up in your face.
Do you have a supervisor? Is the supervisor aware that this guy is taking a mentor role with you?
These days, harassers have learned to toe the line very carefully. They're not as overt as they used to be; they've become expert at borderline behavior that can't be pegged as harassment. If you're not comfortable with his behavior, start keeping a log of it, in case at some point it escalates, or the opposite happens--he starts bad-mouthing you to others or cuts you off from opportunities on the job.
There's this guy I work with every day at my job as an analyst. He's been there longer than me (he's a few years older) and he sort of appointed himself as my mentor. He always checks up on me and tries to make sure I get invited to important meetings and things that will help my career. He's also said things that could be interpreted as flirting, but I want to know what you all think. For example:
- I really like talking to you. I could do this for a long time.
- (when he called me on my work phone) How's my favorite analyst doing?
- (correcting something I did wrong, in a playful tone) Now I never want to see you do that again, ok?
We get into long conversations about both professional and personal things. He's also smiled at me in this way that I think could be flirty, but I'm not sure.
What do you guys think? Is he flirting or is he just being nice?
Guys don't tend to "just be nice". If he's flirting with you he:
Wants a friendship
Wants a relationship
Wants sex
One of those. Because guys seldom are pursued, they tend not to need to think up excuses.
The real question is whether this is okay with you.
Keep romance out of the office
Don't play with married men
Do what you are paid to do at your job instead of drooling over some guy
Find someone else to have sex with outside of the office.
Quit asking the same questions since you are going to get the same answers no matter how many times you ask and how many different ways you word the question.
Since when are good manners considered flirting? A relationship with a coworker is a really stupid idea.
What do manners have to do with it? A married male employee saying "I really like talking to you. I could do this for a long time" to a female co-worker is inappropriate, especially when the married male is higher in rank or has taken on some kind of supervisory role.
What do manners have to do with it? A married male employee saying "I really like talking to you. I could do this for a long time" to a female co-worker is inappropriate, especially when the married male is higher in rank or has taken on some kind of supervisory role.
Company after company has class after class telling us that this sort of thing is stupid. Now, she started a previous thread about having a crush on a married coworker. She's either confused, or she's making up the story to make waves and draw attention to himself. It is possible he is making advances.
I can even see the scenario plays out to the point she attempts a move, gets rebuffed and making a he said/she said claim, potentally causing the "he" some headaches.
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