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Old 04-12-2014, 11:52 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
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If the major source of the problem is the within the relationship, talking to multiple people will cause couples to go around in circles with friends who are subjective and can be objective, but confuses people more or escalates DRAMA. Aka gossip.

The most logical approach is to talk to the person the partner is in conflict with.

"Avoidance" strategies just worsens the conflict. So, open and honest communication is most healthy, and if things don't work out and both people can consensually agree, then it's still up to them as far as what to do.

Talking to many different people including strangers can cloud judgment, when the individuals involved usually know themselves best.

More often times than not, people do what they do anyway. They're just seeking validation rather than actual solutions or advice, because they already know what to do or at least on some level are the experts of their own lives, not others.
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:00 PM
 
3,201 posts, read 4,399,489 times
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it's an anonymous way to ask things you may be afraid to or uncomfortable asking...

also people tend to be more honest because of the anonymity

you will get many more opinions and thoughts on the matter, sometimes you will get a reality check

its would only be unhealthy if you post the same bullshht over and over again about how ugly or short you are or how you cant get laid

betrayal? how?
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:57 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It it were not for usenet, I would be divorced. Instead I am happily married 20 years later. I'll take it.
To the anonymous rep. Yes.
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:55 PM
 
3,549 posts, read 5,364,619 times
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In a sense I find it somewhat better than addressing relationship issues with friends or family. Unless something is insanely major, I don't like to involve others in my issues. Granted I have not really had relationship problems with my current gf, but if I did, I wouldn't be involving all my family and friends.

Mostly, because I want my family and friends to love my girlfriend. If I have a problem, I'm going to go to them and give them the one sided part of it, mostly when I'm probably angry. Again, I don't do this, but many people do.

Going on a forum gives an anonymous persons problem with anonymous responses. It may give options or ideas a person didn't think about before. That being said, some of these posters here are one sided or come off sexist and they may persuade some posters to make what I believe to be the wrong decisions.
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:57 PM
 
589 posts, read 637,842 times
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I'd be more offended if my SO was sharing our sex life with her friends than on an internet forum. At least here, you can remain anonymous. Can't remain anonymous with your best friends.
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Old 04-13-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,679 posts, read 2,884,869 times
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Ideally, relationship matters between a husband and wife should remain between them. Ideally, that married couple should keep that communication within the couple. Period.

That ideal should extend to couples who are dating exclusively, too...

But definitely for the married folks on here.
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Old 04-13-2014, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
My general rule of thumb is to never berate or voice my frustrations with my wife here on the forum. I generally will only say positive things about her here, or when I am talking about problems we've had I will only discuss resolved issues and not current issues. These I reserve for her and I to sort out together and I do not consider them the business of this forum. Furthermore, while I respect the opinions of several of the regulars around here, I know how threads devolve on this forum and do nor wish for my wife and I to be the subject of sophomoric debate.
Same here. I only say things on here that I would have no problem with my husband reading. If I have a problem with him - I talk about it with him. Our relationship is between the two of us and we are the only ones that can make it work.
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Old 04-13-2014, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,216,996 times
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Interesting...

To me, talking to friends/family more of a betrayal bc of lack of anonymity.
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Old 04-13-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Interesting...

To me, talking to friends/family more of a betrayal bc of lack of anonymity.
I don't talk to them about my husband in a negative way either.
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Old 04-13-2014, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
Right. So how do you get out of it? I am dealing with an unreasonable spouse who would not mind divorcing but is not interested in a fair resolution. Any movement toward one will produce a volatile, impossible situation. And the kids don't want a divorce either.

As far as showing the kids what a healthy, happy marriage is, I don't advise them to ever get married in the first place. You see, they are male.
This seems healthy.
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