Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:37 PM
 
Location: India
90 posts, read 117,912 times
Reputation: 168

Advertisements

It is all about power. Most relationships are not based upon love, mutual respect, etc. They are based upon power dynamics - if I like you more than you like me, then I lose. You win. So let me pretend I don't care.

Silly, yes. But this is what happens, at least on a subconscious level.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:38 PM
 
874 posts, read 1,261,236 times
Reputation: 1603
I went through both pages liking one post after another. I'd quote you guys, but I'd have to quote the whole thread. Thanks for the smiles and head nods on my end.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:47 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by geniusss View Post
It is all about power. Most relationships are not based upon love, mutual respect, etc. They are based upon power dynamics - if I like you more than you like me, then I lose. You win. So let me pretend I don't care.

Silly, yes. But this is what happens, at least on a subconscious level.

Someone else commented to me that some people do this as a power trip and to get the upper hand in a relationship. I think power trips are futile and end in disaster for both parties. Both people wind up dissatisfied.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:48 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,006 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52520
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Someone else commented to me that some people do this as a power trip and to get the upper hand in a relationship. I think power trips are futile and end in disaster for both parties. Both people wind up dissatisfied.
Lay it out there.... if it was meant to be.. it will be...sounds sort of campy saying that... but life is short..... I ain't got time for games and other nonsense.......
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:52 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Lay it out there.... if it was meant to be.. it will be...sounds sort of campy saying that... but life is short..... I ain't got time for games and other nonsense.......
I agree.

But, Chow, earlier in the thread, you admitted that you are sparing with your feelings.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-12-2014, 08:54 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
Reputation: 16655
I hate game playing.

It's so ridiculous, pointless, and only ends up hurting people. If I like someone, then that's that. If they like me, then that's that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2014, 01:42 AM
 
Location: India
90 posts, read 117,912 times
Reputation: 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Someone else commented to me that some people do this as a power trip and to get the upper hand in a relationship. I think power trips are futile and end in disaster for both parties. Both people wind up dissatisfied.
Not both. The person who has the upper hand isn't gonna suffer. They know they're in control and that their SO is more or less a puppet to be manipulated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2014, 01:58 AM
 
3,009 posts, read 3,636,176 times
Reputation: 2376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
I hate game playing.

It's so ridiculous, pointless, and only ends up hurting people. If I like someone, then that's that. If they like me, then that's that.
I do not know if this is playing games but if i got a females number i would not call her for at least two to three days . I do not want to sound despite even if i kinda a like her I do not want her to know yet. Lets say he go out Wednesday and she wants to go out on Friday I might tell her I cant I have this going on when in reality I have nothing going on I just want her to think i have things going on even if i do not.

I do not want a woman to see me as safe and boring it not a good thing. Once get a real job i can tell her all about how rewarding it is and then find a hobby that has some danger involved like base jumping .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2014, 02:08 AM
 
Location: Austin/Houston
2,930 posts, read 5,255,713 times
Reputation: 2266
I hear people on here calling it playing games, so be it. In this world, it's either play the game or get played. I don't think that people should have to "play it cool" when it's already been established that two people like each other, but seeing the manipulative nature of both men and women, the shift of power usually goes to the person who cares less.

I wish the world functioned as easy as "happily ever after", but a lot of times it doesn't work like that. People are all different. Some people get a thrill out of hurting others, some people like to see how many people they can get to fall in love with them, and most importantly, people's feelings can always change. I can tell you several times I've been burned because a girl liked me, but the moment I started to show interest, they backed off and left me dumbfounded.

There's different defense mechanisms that both women and men use to protect themselves. For example, sometimes women will act mad or mean to keep a guy from approaching her. Playing it cool is a defense mechanism used by guys (and girls too) to help keep them interesting and keep from looking desperate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2014, 02:26 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,589,494 times
Reputation: 3341
"Playing it" cool is stupid, as is playing any sort of game when it comes to dating and relationships. Being cool, on the other hand, is attractive to some. Don't confuse the two.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:55 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top